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Clips from Veep - D.C. (S02E02)

"Oh, God. I hate impeachments."
Veep
"Well, the president now has the Senate"
Veep
"and the House after him. Gonna rain pain."
Veep
"Oh, these lips are on lockdown."
Veep
"Right. You don't know."
Veep
"I think I know what you're gonna say."
Veep
"Ma'am, you have my deepest, deepest sympathies."
Veep
"My plan is"
Veep
"but then I'm gonna run for president"
Veep
"No, it's okay."
Veep
"Furthest thing from our minds."
Veep
"Although I should really take this call."
Veep
"- Yeah? - Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Veep
"Still, this might mean"
Veep
"You know, you're gonna get bedsores."
Veep
"Thank you so much for calling me back."
Veep
"They call me the Washington Flash."
Veep
"Wish I could break his spine."
Veep
"Gary, it has been shit."
Veep
"- Oh, Madam Vice President. - What did I tell you earlier?"
Veep
"And you're gonna meet with me instead."
Veep
"Congressman..."
Veep
"You're kind of obsolete."
Veep
"Why'd you leave anyway? You get stuck with your dick in the veep's decaf?"
Veep
"- She's leaving the ticket. - No, absolutely not."
Veep
"Let me be clear, sir. She may be planning to run in six years"
Veep
"In fact, I guarantee you that my news is front-page news."
Veep
"No, I'm Joan fucking Rivers."
Veep
"Of course I'm serious."
Veep
"just like that-- of unbridled joy."
Veep
"Ben, I am crying"
Veep
"You're finally getting out of here."
Veep
"Life is depressing."
Veep
"No, I've got it. I can do this."
Veep
"We'd like to see the vice president as a matter of some urgency."
Veep
"You do and Secret Service might break your neck."
Veep
"Oh, stop it, Nervous Nelly."
Veep
"and then you and I run together as a team."
Veep
"Oh, I heard it from the Gingerhead Man."
Veep
"- Yep. Right. - You and I election."
Veep
"Which implies that perhaps something else is going on."
Veep
"- Oh, stop it. - I'll tell you what it is, too."
Veep
"And I'm gonna light a fire under the whole thing."
Veep
"Okay, where are my beautiful veeple people?"
Veep
"- Jonah. Hey, listen, settle something for me. - Okay."
Veep
"You like to have sex and you like to travel?"
Veep
"- Yes, ma'am. - Then you can fuck off."
Veep
"Boom! Let's go to the fucking moon!"
Veep
"I feel as though I may have missed something."
Veep
"Hey, what happened in there?"
Veep
"Okay, now listen, so..."
Veep
"you guys don't need to take other jobs."
Veep
"Oh, clearly. Yeah. Oh, yeah."
Veep
"- Cheese? - And it's overseas."
Veep
"Seriously, you have got to stick up for yourself."
Veep
"You trust me with that Leviathan?"
Veep
"just JFK the fuck out of me."
Veep
"I'm just completely in the dark. If--"
Veep
"- Uh-- uh-- - No, no, no, it's all about crazy money, Ame."
Veep
"He's got the crazy money"
Veep
"and I'm crazy enough to go get it."
Veep
"Oh, there he is."
Veep
"- Hi, you. - Hi, sweetie. Hi."
Veep
"- Me or her? - Okay, that choice, there's no way--"
Veep
"This is not a big place, is it? It's not a big place."
Veep
"Okay, listen, she wants to talk to you."
Veep
"Okay? That's good cheese."
Veep
"I met a young woman name Juanita."
Veep
"Yeah, it's like a noun-verb gumbo."
Veep
"Oh, that's a brilliant plan."
Veep
"I met this young scientist named Anita."
Veep
"- Shh, I'm trying to watch. - Okay, champ."
Veep
"- We need to go to that. - Yeah."
Veep
"- And steak. - And steak. I love it."
Veep
"So, I know what you're thinking, Madam Vice President."
Veep
"- Because they are ants. - This way, ma'am."
Veep
"Sorry there, Todd. Just real quick."
Veep
"- Oh. - Matters of state."
Veep
"that you think POTUS is gonna quit."
Veep
"- No. - We're so sorry. She really likes it,"
Veep
"But this man right here is gonna take over for her."
Veep
"Don't fuck this up. This is a public relations nightmare waiting to happen."
Veep
"DC's current go-to place for these off-the-record meets."
Veep
"Yeah, oh, Danny, I just want to let you know,"
Veep
"one of your anecdotes may have accidentally"
Veep
"And I'd really appreciate it if you could let this one slide."
Veep
"Sue, come here."
Veep
"- Where's Dan? - He stepped out."
Veep
"and he is going to seek reelection after all."
Veep
"So he's running for a second term,"
Veep
"- I have shit to do. - I am in a bad way."
Veep
"DC-- District of Cunts."
Veep
"This is my nerd herd. And I mean that affectionately."
Veep
"Yes, ma'am. Your abrupt exit from the science fair."
Veep
"Mike needed a PR fix, so you have to give these guys a West Wing tour."
Veep
"- What? - Uh, ma'am."
Veep
"This has got to stop."
Veep
"You should be aware that the president is on his way."
Veep
"- Yes. - Why? He never comes here."
Veep
"- Shaved and grated. - Okay, I'll just give this to her."
Veep
"He should get the basket. Right? We'll get him to tweet about it."
Veep
"- Is that what's going on? He's gone postal. - I have no idea."
Veep
"- Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike! - Ma'am, I'm coming."
Veep
"And I've got to make a statement saying I'm leaving the ticket"
Veep
"- Danny Chung is making an announcement. - What?"
Veep
"I know what I'm gonna do."
Veep
"I'm gonna run against Chung."
Veep
"Okay, I'll come up with something."
Veep
"Make a hole, yo. POTUS coming through. Make a hole."
Veep
"Has he been miniaturized?"
Veep
"Uh, Selina is about to get a Potal bullet through the head"
Veep
"and you are all about to be unemployed and homeless."
Veep
"Take a flare gun, put it in your mouth, and blow your head off."
Veep
"Do not comment on this office, okay?"
Veep
"Ma'am?"
Veep
"Hi."
Veep
"I think I know what you're gonna say, but I don't wanna jinx it."
Veep
"- Right? - And we're going all the way."
Veep
"And for the record, ma'am, I always believed in you."
Veep
"POTUS, he knew the gig was up"
Veep
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