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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - Are You Better Off? (S05E05)

"and that makes me 20 minutes late to work every day."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Have you ever considered not eating that for breakfast?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This feels strangely personal."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Maybe it's because they're all standing up"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"saying how much they hate me as a person."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"How many people am I talking to, Donna?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"One or 1 1/9?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh. Interesting."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I don't remember saying anything"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"about anyone being pregnant."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Are you sure it's not you?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm a grown woman with a good head on her shoulders."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Don't worry about me."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Whew. This case just got interesting."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, not just."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It was pretty interesting to begin with."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Listen, my wife and I do not feel"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"that we're better off than a year ago"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"was not a horrifying sex den"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"where people could put their body parts"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And then, you were elected."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And now, this town a horrifying sex den"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"where people can put their body parts"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"anywhere they want to with impunity."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"If you are referring to my fight"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"to teach comprehensive sex education,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"you need to at least acknowledge the fact"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This town is going to hell"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"in a Gucci knock-off handbag, girl."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I am definitely better off than I was a year ago,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This woman single-handedly saved my business."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Thank you, Dennis. There you go, perfect example."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No need for further questions on that one."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, I run a pornographic DVD emporium."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, it used to be a quaint, little movie rental place"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"with a lot of community value."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Oh, it's much better now. - Yeah!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Gah, gah, gah, gah-- - Hello, everyone."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Star of such films as the incredible Burt Wonderbone,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I had a small part in Argo"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"as well as the porn version Our Goo."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"If it weren't for Leslie Knope,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No, what happened was there was a misunderstanding,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and I accidentally got the government involved"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and everything's fine."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's not like I'm some kind of sex-crazed maniac or something."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Leslie, are you pregnant?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"this positive pregnancy test in a dumpster in the woods?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- No. - Really?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Sorry to interrupt."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Someone-- I'm not saying Diddy,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but I'm not not saying Diddy--"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We would all basically double our investments."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Are you kidding me? Sell, baby."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Imagine the kind of treat-yourself day"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"If someone is interested in buying you out,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I say you continue to grow,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"accumulate power, find this investor,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and buy his business to teach him a lesson."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- April, what do you think? - I thought about this a lot."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I actually think that you should get a "Hello Kitty" tattoo."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- No, with the store. - Oh."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Uh, burn it for the insurance money."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Tom, listen to me, if there's one thing I've learned--"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- God, nobody cares, Gary. - Enough."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This is great."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Chris, could you just please..."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm sorry, I was just trying to cheer you up."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"this morning that I am playing"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"a special role in this parade."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Honey, I hate to state the obvious,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but you chose a life in politics."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I mean, the more you actually accomplish,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- My two vices. - There you go."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Whoa, what are you doing?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"My assistant has something she'd like to show you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, my assistant has something she'd like to show you, partner."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I found it outside of Ron's cabin"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Is there any possibility Mona-Lisa could be pregnant?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We always use protection..."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but I'm pretty positive she pokes holes in them."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What brand pregnancy test is it?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's called "Womb There It Is.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That's her brand."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm gonna be a dad?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm gonna have a baby with Jean-Ralphio's sister?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, God. What have I done?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Like, to humanity?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This is the perfect thing"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I am going to pretend that this is my victory parade"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- There you go. - Leslie, Leslie."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm so sorry. I need to talk to you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What are-- what?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"elects a nipple king and a nipple queen every year"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"to ride on the float."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Congratulations, Chris. - Thank you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- It's such an amazing honor. - It's wonderful."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But I do need to talk to you"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"about a float that is in this parade,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- No fun for you! - Uh-oh."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No fun for you!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Maybe it's Kate Upton. - Oh, thank you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, stop, please!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to stop your parade or anything,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I don't think this is very fair!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Babe--babe, stop wagging your finger."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Certain people are lashing out at me"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"because of things that I did this year."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But I am not trying to stop you from having fun."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This float represents a group"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and community leaders who are protesting"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"unfair government regulation."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We are the committee to recall Leslie Knope."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Let's kick her out of office."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Recall Knope!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Recall Knope!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Recall Knope! - Legalize weed!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Recall Knope! Recall Knope!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
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