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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - Are You Better Off? (S05E05)

"and the granddaddy of them all,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"the founder's week parade."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"look like a turds-on-wheels convention."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"April, what makes Pawnee the best city in the world?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Easy: Most murders per capita."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The guillotine was invented here."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"City Hall is run by the walrus mafia."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Donna, help me out. What makes Pawnee so great?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Cost of living is cheap."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You have a condo in Seattle?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yes, I like the rain and the fish markets."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Guys, we need to focus."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I want this to be the best founder's week ever, okay?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- No more distractions. - I'm bored."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Let's go have sex in a tree."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"He'll be back in eight minutes."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Why did you have to bring her here?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I don't really have any power in this relationship."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'll think of ideas in the tree."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Anyone's welcome to join us in the tree!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You okay?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Good morning,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"colleagues, co-workers, friends."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Everyone feeling normal... today?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Here's what happened."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I left my sweat shirt at Ron's cabin."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"When I went back to get it, I found this in the trash:"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Side note: I accidentally threw my sweat shirt away."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"So if my science is correct,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"is pregnant!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Can't be April."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"They said I was retired."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"They said I was too dangerous"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"for the Pawnee Police Department."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Turns out they were right..."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"As you know, the founder's week festivities"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Um, one small announcement:"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"has been replaced by a pork rib barbecue competition."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But on to less grisly news,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"in our special founder's week public forum"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"led by councilwoman Leslie Knope."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"this has been a banner year for our city."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Test scores are up."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Pawnee raccoon attacks have decreased."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"People can now suddenly feel safe"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"in our parks, grocery stores, and hospitals."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"In fact, this forum is kind of my victory lap."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Who'd like to start? Uh-oh."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Kathryn Pinewood, Pawnee Restaurant Association."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This past year has been a disaster,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and this government is hell-bent"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"on stripping away our most basic personal freedoms."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, counterpoint."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"which only made our citizens healthier."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And frankly, I don't see any of those citizens"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay. Now, I see them."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Whoa! Darren! Slow down!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"If you go at more than a brisk walk,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"it will fall apart."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This looks dope. Let's pay for it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Business is booming."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I could add a baby section over there,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I could add some old people stuff,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"call it "Rent-A-Sag.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ugh, no. Old people are gross."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, dingdong! Can I go home?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and also, I hate working."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I guess, but find someone to cover for you, okay?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"'Cause we're really busy right now."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Also, a lawyer guy called you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and I was very into that."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"All right, let's set up some boundaries"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That's gross."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Please leave. - All right, bye."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Tom Haverford, my name is Trevor Nelsson."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I represent a client who would like to make you an offer."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I will accept a record deal."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"He'd like to know if you are looking"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"to sell a controlling interest in the store."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Will Diddy be coming to the meeting?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It would violate confidentiality."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- I understand. - It's not Diddy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Got it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Oh. - Oh, hello...Ann."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, boy. What do you want, Macklin?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Me? Just observing."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Wait, there is just one more question."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Congratulations. - Is that a question?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's an accusation, 'cause I know your secret."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- You're pregnant. - What? I'm not pregnant."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You're not? Damn it. Who is?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"'Cause I found this at Ron Swanson's cabin."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- It's a pregnancy test. - Oh, my God."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Someone we know is pregnant?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm trying to get pregnant. That's not fair."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I mean, great, and happy for them,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and congratulations, whatever,"
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"but ooh! No! Boo!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We have to find out who this is."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You can have as many burgers as you want."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Welcome to the FBI."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ms. Pinewood, Leslie's public health initiative"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Pawnee is no longer the fourth most obese city in America."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Together, as a town, we lost"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"an amount of weight equal to 800 pregnant manatees."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"A gym opened, and it stayed in business."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And people checking into the E.R."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Now, you wanna rob our children of fun"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"by attacking the Sweetums school lunch program,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"literally taking candy from babies."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Those school lunches are incredibly unhealthy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You somehow convinced the school board"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Stop restricting our freedoms."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"My name is Dewey from Sanitation."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"into a woman's bathroom."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm so sorry, Dewey."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Bjorn Lerpiss of the Pawnee Lerpiss family."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And then, you stripped my freedom"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"with a triple-decker pancake breakfast pizza,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
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