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Clips from The Boondocks (2005) - The Real (S01E01)

"I know you wanna save the world, Huey,"
The Boondocks (2005)
"but sometimes people have"
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"to learn lessons on their own."
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"I'm always listening."
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"? Da-da Da-da-da-da...?"
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""Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them. ""
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"To make me think I'm crazy."
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"Good night, Granddad."
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"♪ I am the stone The builder refused ♪"
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"♪ That made lady Sing the blues ♪"
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"♪ The same spark That lights the dark ♪"
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"♪ I am the ballot in your box The bullet in the gun ♪"
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"♪ To call your brother sun ♪"
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"♪ Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ♪"
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"♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪"
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"Okay."
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"I'm the founder of 23 different radical leftist organizations,"
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"including the Africans Fighting Racism and Oppression,"
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"or AFRO, if you will,"
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"uh..."
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"Yeah, sure."
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"People tell me."
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"I look like Bill Cosby all the time..."
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"I mean, excuse me..."
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"Especially when I wear these sunglasses."
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"Yeah. Yeah, my name is Riley, son."
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"a. K.a. Riley Escobar."
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"'Cause I be in the streets, you know?"
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"uh, also known as, a. K.a. Horse Choker."
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"And also the Black Revolutionary Underground Heroes."
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"Um..."
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"BRUH?"
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"Yeah, BRUH."
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"A.k. a. Pillsbury Doughboy."
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"A.k. a. Louis Rich."
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"Like the turkey bacon?"
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"Yeah, like the- What?"
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"So like I was saying,"
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"is next to godliness."
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"So my granddad's wearing his Bill Cosby shades,"
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"and I'm like, "This nigga look blind. ""
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"And then I thought, "Boom, I got an idea."
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"I know how we can get this money. ""
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"And I made a tape."
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"If my granddad has one weakness,"
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"it's bitches."
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"ever since he had a bleach fight"
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"All he's got in this world is his car, Dorothy."
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"And everyone knows that bitches don't really check"
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"I'm Robert Freeman's driver."
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"And I'm tired of driving this piece-of-shit car he got."
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"he might be able to get a date,"
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"and not have to pay for it."
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"For my grandfather."
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"For 9/11."
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"For America."
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"What's up, y'all? This X-to-the-Z, Xzibit,"
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"his grandfather's car, Dorothy."
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"As you can see, Dorothy is way past her prime."
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"This car look like it need some lotion."
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"Oh, snap. It's Xzibit."
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"I'm here to pimp your ride."
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"Yo. Why are we hiding?"
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"his favorite rapper, Xzibit,"
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"fixing to pimp his ride,"
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"But now y'all gotta get the hell"
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"up out of here before he finds you."
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"and, uh, uh- And I want five televisions."
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"And I want a toilet seat in the trunk."
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"Hey, man, we just doing..."
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"You ain't stealing my-!"
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"Hey, man! Hey, hold on! Hey!"
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"Stop, Granddad!"
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"Boy, Dorothy isn't just a car."
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"I've loved and cared for that vehicle for 30 years."
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"You think I'm let some damn rapper"
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"Ho's love goldfish, Granddad."
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"You two need your own sitcom."
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"and people give you free stuff."
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"I still ain't gonna lie to nobody."
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"If there's one thing that I can't stand,"
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"I'm a Christian man."
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"You ain't gots to lie."
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"I'm sorry about the misunderstanding."
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"And, now, w-w-where's that boy?"
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"the tooth fairy takes it away"
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"and leaves a dollar under my pillow."
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"Then who's leaving the money?"
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"Why would they lie to me?"
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"I respect that."
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"Do you like my sunglasses?"
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"I wear sunglasses because my idol, Dr. Bill Cosby,"
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"wears sunglasses all the time."
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""Cosbyness is next to godliness. ""
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"Nobody, really."
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"Just thought you might wanna talk"
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"to someone who understands."
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"It's not that I don't believe you, Huey."
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"and I'm not interested."
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"But, Granddad, I am being followed"
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"by a secret government agent."
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"You just want attention."
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"Thirty inches?"
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"Is that big?"
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"Like- Like the stupid Bill Cosby sunglasses thing."
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"Well, these stupid sunglasses"
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"got us a new car."
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"So you say the car stops and the wheels keep spinning?"
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"All I'm saying is, when Xzibit brings that car back,"
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"What did you call me?"
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"No, no. I mean, bitches, like..."
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"Like you gonna have so many bitches,"
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"that's what niggas is gonna call you."
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"No disrespect?"
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"You just called your grandfather "bitches. ""
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"I mean it as a general word for women."
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"And you gonna let him get away with that?"
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"It's okay... just this once."
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"Granddad, I'm just saying..."
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"you might have to change your middle name"
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