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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Jerusalem Duality (S01E01)

"Said Pharaoh to Moses."
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"Why are all these young women here?"
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"It's Take Your Daughter to Work Day."
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"Really? I was not aware of that."
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"...that was sent to everyone whose files indicated..."
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"...they had daughters between the ages of 14 and 16."
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"Hmm."
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"- Smooth. - Thank you."
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"There's the man of the hour."
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"So we have a socially awkward genius in a room of attractive age-appropriate women."
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"All he has to do is hook up with one."
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"We need a social catalyst."
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"Like what? We can't get 1 5-year-old girls drunk."
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"- Or can we? - No, we can't."
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"I don't think you mean we can't. I think you mean we shouldn't."
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"Hey, Howard, you're a Jew."
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"If there was another Wailing Wall exactly like the one in Jerusalem..."
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"...but close to taco stands and cheap prescription drugs..."
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"Okay, it's definitely me."
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"We cannot leave this to chance. Let's pick a girl..."
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"...and figure out how to get her with Dennis."
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"How about that one?"
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"Uh-uh. I know the type. Cheerleader, student council, goes out with jocks."
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"Won't look at anybody in the gifted program."
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"If she does agree to go out, it turns out to be a setup."
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"You're in your mom's car with your pants off while the whole football team laughs."
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"- Are you crying? - No, I have allergies."
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"Okay. Uh...."
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"Oh, hey, how about her?"
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"Sure, if he wants to spend years doing her homework..."
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"...while she drinks herself into a stupor with nonfat White Russians."
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"And you're holding her head while she's puking..."
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"She gets into Cornell, because you wrote her essay."
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"And you drive up to visit her one weekend and she acts like she doesn't know you."
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"Okay, so not her either."
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"How about her?"
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"Interesting, kind of pretty, a little chubby, so probably low self-esteem."
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"I think that's our girl."
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"One of us should go talk to her."
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"I can't talk to her, you do it."
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"I can't just go up and talk to her."
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"Howard, you talk to her."
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"I don't know, she'll never go for the kid once she gets a peek at this."
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"In lndia, this would be simpler."
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"Well, we're not in lndia."
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"Why don't we do it your way, then?"
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"We'll arrange for her to move in across the hall so he can pathetically moon over her."
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"- Okay, that was uncalled for. - You started it, dude."
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"Could I have everyone's attention, please?"
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"What a wonderful occasion this is."
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"We're here to welcome Mr. Dennis Kim to our little family."
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"Welcome, Dennis Kim."
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"Mr. Kim was not only the valedictorian at Stanford University..."
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"...he is also the youngest recipient of the prestigious Stevenson Award."
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"Youngest till the cyborgs rise up."
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"And now, without any further ado..."
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"...Iet me introduce the man of the hour, Mr. Dennis Kim."
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"Dennis? Dennis."
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"What?"
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"Would you like to tell us about your upcoming research?"
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"The kid got a girl."
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"Unbelievable."
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"Did anyone see how he did it?"
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"Don't worry, I've got this."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, honored daughters..."
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"...has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact..."
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"...Iet me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted."
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"And that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me."
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"Thank you."
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"- He's back. - Yeah, mission accomplished."
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"Forget the mission. How did that little yutz get a girl on his own?"
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"I guess times have changed since we were young."
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"Smart is the new sexy."
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"Maybe we're too smart."
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"So smart, it's off-putting."
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"Yeah, let's go with that."
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"We need a hot 1 5-year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys."
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"You can see the matrix, can't you?"
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"...would you still wail at it?"
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"Assuming a device could be invented..."
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"Today, I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to...."
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