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Clips from Family Guy - Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date (S15E15)

"we can eat peanuts in here."
Family Guy
"Dad, are you sure it's okay that we took Brian's car?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, it's his own fault."
Family Guy
"Okay, everybody out."
Family Guy
"Hey, Chris."
Family Guy
"Guess who I just scored as my date to the homecoming dance."
Family Guy
"Yeah, her husband just died of ALS,"
Family Guy
"Hey there, strong guy."
Family Guy
"She says I have the body of a 50-year-old before it gets ALS."
Family Guy
"So who are you gonna go with?"
Family Guy
"I was thinking of asking Kara Morris."
Family Guy
"Why don't you ask her now?"
Family Guy
"Her locker's right over there."
Family Guy
"Um... y-- uh, yeah, okay."
Family Guy
"Hi, Kara."
Family Guy
"I was wondering, um, if you'd like to go"
Family Guy
"to the homecoming dance with me?"
Family Guy
"Oh, hi, robot from Big Hero 6."
Family Guy
"No, but thank you."
Family Guy
"His name is Baymax, you gorgeous moron!"
Family Guy
"All right, red light."
Family Guy
"Thanks for getting here so quickly. What?"
Family Guy
"I'm sorry. You're in a Prius."
Family Guy
"I just assumed you were my Uber."
Family Guy
"I don't know what that is on account of being dull."
Family Guy
"Uber-- it's like a cab except it feels like a game"
Family Guy
"'cause it's from your phone."
Family Guy
"Anyway, I'm late for a meeting."
Family Guy
"Can I just give you 20 bucks to drop me off?"
Family Guy
"Wow, 20 bucks just to drive you across town?"
Family Guy
"Maybe I should be an Uber driver."
Family Guy
"I mean, I could use the extra money."
Family Guy
"All right, push. Push."
Family Guy
"Come on, come on, almost there."
Family Guy
"Here it is!"
Family Guy
"Oh, it's half Hawaiian."
Family Guy
"You poor fool."
Family Guy
"Hey, Stewie."
Family Guy
"What's up, big guy?"
Family Guy
"None of the girls at school want to go to homecoming with me."
Family Guy
"Probably 'cause everyone calls me names like "Big Nips""
Family Guy
"and "Fat Nips" and "Big Fat Nips.""
Family Guy
"Oh, don't listen to them, Big Fat Nips."
Family Guy
"They're just being haters."
Family Guy
"Oh, it's just something people say"
Family Guy
"instead of working to change their own flaws."
Family Guy
"Anyway, you just got to do what Taylor Swift does"
Family Guy
"Who's Taylor Swift?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"Am I about to introduce you to Taylor Swift?"
Family Guy
"W-What is she, a singer?"
Family Guy
"She's much more than a singer, Chris."
Family Guy
"A goddess!"
Family Guy
"A gazelle in a high-waisted swimsuit!"
Family Guy
"Uh, sorry, if you're neither insane,"
Family Guy
"nor clowns, nor a posse, I'm not interested."
Family Guy
"You should ask Taylor Swift to the homecoming dance!"
Family Guy
"What? Why would she go to a dance with me?"
Family Guy
"I'm telling you, this is exactly the kind of thing she would do."
Family Guy
"She's such a sweetheart."
Family Guy
"Oh, I'm going limp."
Family Guy
"thinking about Taylor Swift."
Family Guy
"(moaning)"
Family Guy
"Tay-Tay."
Family Guy
"Oh, it's easy. You and I will just make a video"
Family Guy
"about how sad you are and put it online."
Family Guy
"She's very interactive with all her fans."
Family Guy
"Of course it is."
Family Guy
"just like you did on New Year's Eve."
Family Guy
"ALL: Three, two, one!"
Family Guy
"Some animals give me boners!"
Family Guy
"(balloon pops, "Auld Lang Syne" playing)"
Family Guy
"Hi. Uh, I'd like to be an Uber driver."
Family Guy
"Don't I... don't I need to fill out a form or...?"
Family Guy
"Oh, right, yeah, of course."
Family Guy
""Name.""
Family Guy
"Peter Griffin."
Family Guy
""Criminal history.""
Family Guy
"This section is optional. I will skip this."
Family Guy
"And done."
Family Guy
"Here you go. Yeah, none of this really matters."
Family Guy
"All I need to know is: do you have a car,"
Family Guy
"a phone and a face?"
Family Guy
"It's my dog's car."
Family Guy
"Oh, and I know you didn't ask,"
Family Guy
"but I am quick to anger. Okay, great."
Family Guy
"Now get out there and try to kiss as many ladies as you can."
Family Guy
"The record is 60 in a month."
Family Guy
"You, sir, are officially an Uber driver."
Family Guy
"(Bluetooth rings, beeps)"
Family Guy
"(shouting gibberish)"
Family Guy
"This is some good stuff, Chris."
Family Guy
"I think it's ready to post."
Family Guy
"I made my own video and posted it."
Family Guy
"Stewie, I didn't want to do all that fancy stuff,"
Family Guy
"so I just did a video of me speaking from the heart."
Family Guy
"You know, telling her how much it would mean"
Family Guy
"if a girl like her went to homecoming with a guy like me."
Family Guy
"I couldn't even stay awake during that description."
Family Guy
"(phone vibrates)"
Family Guy
"Hey, she already posted a response."
Family Guy
"What?!"
Family Guy
"Hey, Chris Griffin."
Family Guy
"I just saw your video,"
Family Guy
"and I'd love to go to your dance with you."
Family Guy
"All right, I got to go eat an ice cream cone."
Family Guy
"'Cause us stars are just like you."
Family Guy
"(both chatter excitedly)"
Family Guy
"Uh-oh. This means I have an awkward phone call to make."
Family Guy
"What? No, no, it was stupid."
Family Guy
"What, two guys going to homecoming?"
Family Guy
"I-I assumed it was a goof this whole time."
Family Guy
"Take it out."
Family Guy
"I'm ugly and unlovable."
Family Guy
"Good evening. I'm Tom Tucker."
Family Guy
"Our top story tonight,"
Family Guy
"pop star Taylor Swift is coming to Quahog"
Family Guy
"to attend a dance with local high-schooler Chris Griffin."
Family Guy
"But first we go to commercial while our sports reporter smiles"
Family Guy
"and spins a football for some reason."
Family Guy
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