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Clips from Friends - The One with the Pediatrician (S09E09)

"- Really? - Not you."
Friends
"- I call their apartment! - No!"
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"No!"
Friends
"I went through this with Ben and Carol. One coffee won't affect your milk."
Friends
"- Every time? - Mm-hm."
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"A person named "Wiener." God, that kills me."
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"Well, that whole thing with Rachel made me realize..."
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"...that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship, you know?"
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"And looks aren't as important as..."
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"Um, oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poopack."
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"Yeah. All right. Well, that rules out Lana Titwyler."
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"My boss and I worked out a deal where I'm in Tulsa four days a week."
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"You know, come to think of it, it does feel rubella-like."
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"Great! Now he's gonna know it was me!"
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"Oh, my God."
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"She's really smart and cute and funny and..."
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"All right, great."
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"Excuse me?"
Friends
"Mm-hm. He used to have a recurring nightmare. It freaked him out."
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"That I was going to eat him."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"- Hi, I'm Phoebe. - Hey, Phoebe."
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"So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other, anyway?"
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"What are you doing?"
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"- Slim Pickins. - Hmm. Nothing, huh?"
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"No. Slim Pickins. It's a barbecue joint."
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"So Cheesy?"
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"Thanks, doctor."
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"- Six. - What are you doing? I said seven!"
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"- Mike? Mike? - Oh."
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"- You're leaving too? - I'll stay if you can tell me my name."
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"Before, you said that being with me was more important than any job."
Friends
"I know this is a lot to ask..."
Friends
"He is a brilliant diagnostician!"
Friends
"- Diagnostician or boo-boo fixer? - Mm."
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"You know, "Ah, look, it's my favorite patient.""
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"That was not a security blanket. That was a wall hanging."
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"It didn't spend much time on the wall!"
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"Is it all right?"
Friends
"Apparently, I'm not a funny guy."
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"That's true."
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"Oh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Prove it."
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"There isn't a piano here."
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"You are really good."
Friends
"...but the baby with the rash came in after me."
Friends
"- I am a single parent. - It's hard, isn't it?"
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"There's no time for a social life. Where are you gonna meet someone?"
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"...let's say, I don't know, you met someone in the pediatrician's office. Uh."
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"Oh, man."
Friends
"- Bye, honey. - Bye."
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"It goes old job..."
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"This is just something I have to do."
Friends
"So, what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for?"
Friends
"Our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa."
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"So as of Monday, I'm being officially relocated."
Friends
"- Oh, my God! - What? Monday?"
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"- How long do you have to go for? - They said it could be up to a year."
Friends
"- A year? - Well, do you have to go?"
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"Well, I kind of have to, don't I?"
Friends
"Because of this stupid thing."
Friends
"There's nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?"
Friends
"Wait a minute. Wait, you can't go to Tulsa."
Friends
"Maybe you forgot, but we have tickets to the Jets game next week!"
Friends
"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to make it."
Friends
"But we were gonna go see the Jets!"
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"You can't go. I mean, you're the glue that holds this group together."
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"I can't believe you guys are moving."
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"Here you go, Rach."
Friends
"- Oh, thank you, Joey. - Yeah."
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"Oh, you know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine."
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"Yeah, just to be sure, I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener."
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"You don't have to call him whenever you have a question, okay?"
Friends
"- Trust me. I know this. - All right. I trust you."
Friends
"I can see you dialing. I don't understand why..."
Friends
"Shh, I'm on the phone! Dr. Wiener?"
Friends
"It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown-up."
Friends
"I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up."
Friends
"- Look at you all grown-up. - Yeah."
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"Well, actually, you know what?"
Friends
"I am, you know?"
Friends
"Like, I'd like to meet a nice, mature, commitment-minded lady."
Friends
"- Nah, she's gotta be hot. Mm-hm"
Friends
"You know, I might know somebody."
Friends
"How about you set me up with someone, and we double-date?"
Friends
"I can do that. Yeah. How's, uh, Friday?"
Friends
"- Done! - All right."
Friends
"- Oh, good, really? - Yeah."
Friends
"Okay, let's see. Hee, hee."
Friends
"All right."
Friends
""Poopack"? Ha-ha-ha."
Friends
"- Hi. - Hey."
Friends
"- I've got good news. - You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?"
Friends
"Okay, I have news."
Friends
"You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job."
Friends
"That's great! How?"
Friends
"So the other three, I can be here with you."
Friends
"So you're gonna be gone four days a week?"
Friends
"No."
Friends
"I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?"
Friends
"No. I can't be away from you for that long."
Friends
"- Really? - Yeah, you're my husband."
Friends
"I won't live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year."
Friends
"That's fast math. We could use you in Tulsa."
Friends
"Thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you go to Tulsa, I go with you."
Friends
"Ha-ha-ha. Hey."
Friends
"You said that without gagging."
Friends
"I know!"
Friends
"Oh, yeah? Well, up yours too!"
Friends
"- Who the hell was that? - Dr. Wiener."
Friends
"Rach, you can't call people at 3 in the morning."
Friends
"You know what? You sound just like his wife."
Friends
"Was there anything even wrong with Emma?"
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"Yes, of course there is! Okay? I'm not insane."
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"What was it?"
Friends
"I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up."
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"Well, not anymore I can't. He fired us!"
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"What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician."
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"Wait, wait, wait. Monica said that when you guys were growing up..."
Friends
"...you liked your doctor. What was his name?"
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"Dr. Gettleman?"
Friends
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