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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - Pilot (S01E01)

"Oh, wait."
The Big Bang Theory
"A little extra money to get fractional T1 bandwidth in the apartment?"
The Big Bang Theory
"- What's the protocol for leaving? - I don't know."
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"Two millime--? That doesn't seem right."
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"Is that why they sent you to boarding school?"
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"New neighbor?"
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"Evidently."
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"We don't mean to interrupt. We live across the hall."
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"- Oh, great. - Great."
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"- Bye. - Bye."
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"We already watched the season two DVDs."
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"Invite her over, make her feel welcome."
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"I have 212 friends on MySpace."
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"...you might wanna skip the reference to bowel movements."
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"So, what do you guys do for fun around here?"
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"This looks like some serious stuff. Leonard, did you do this?"
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"It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, discouraging conversation..."
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"Fine."
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"Sheldon, sit."
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"So..."
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"So do you have some sort of a job?"
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"Well, it sounds wonderful."
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"...and my stupid shower doesn't work."
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"So, what exactly are you trying to accomplish here?"
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"I'm not gonna engage in hypotheticals here."
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"...when she discovers your Luke Skywalker "no more tears" shampoo?"
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"It's Darth Vader shampoo."
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"Hello."
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"All right, there it goes. It sticks, I'm sorry."
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"- It's okay if you say no. - Oh, I'll probably say yes."
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"Leonard, the two of us can't even carry a TV."
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"It's just a privilege to watch your mind at work."
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"- What do you think their combined lQ is? - Just grab the door."
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"I was hoping to establish a relationship with Penny..."
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"Okay."
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"If a photon is directed through a plane with two slits in it and either is observed..."
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"...it will not go through both. If unobserved, it will."
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"If it's observed after it left the plane, before it hits its target..."
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"- ...it will not have gone through both slits. - Agreed."
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"What's your point?"
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"There's no point, I just think it's a good idea for a T-shirt."
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"- Excuse me. - Hang on."
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"One across is Aegean, eight down is Nabokov."
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"Twenty-six across is MCM."
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"Fourteen down is--"
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"Move your finger."
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"--phylum, which makes 14 across Port-au-Prince."
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"See, Papa Doc's capital idea, that's Port-au-Prince."
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"Haiti."
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"- Can I help you? - Yes."
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"Um, is this the high-lQ sperm bank?"
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"If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be here."
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"I think this is the place."
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"- Fill these out. - Thank you."
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"- We'll be right back. - Oh, take your time."
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"I'll just finish my crossword puzzle."
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"What, are you kidding? you're a semipro."
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"No. We are committing genetic fraud."
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"There's no guarantee our sperm's going to generate high-lQ offspring."
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"Think about that."
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"I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers."
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"Sheldon, this was your idea."
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"I know. And I do yearn for faster downloads."
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"There's some poor woman who's gonna pin her hopes on my sperm."
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"What if she winds up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use..."
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"...a differential to solve for the area under a curve?"
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"- I'm sure she'll still love him. - I wouldn't."
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"Well, what do you wanna do?"
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"- I want to leave. - Okay."
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"I've never reneged on a proffer of sperm before."
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"Let's try just walking out."
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"Okay."
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"- Bye. - Bye-bye."
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"Nice meeting you."
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"- Are you still mad about the sperm bank? - No."
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"You wanna hear an interesting thing about stairs?"
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"Not really."
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"If the height of a step is off by as little as two millimeters..."
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"- ...most people will trip. - I don't care."
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"It's true. I did a series of experiments when I was 12."
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"My father broke his clavicle."
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"No. That was the result of my work with lasers."
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"Significant improvement over the old neighbor."
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"Two-hundred pound transvestite with a skin condition? Yes, she is."
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"Hi?"
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"No. We don't live together. I mean..."
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"...we live together, but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms."
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"Okay, well, guess I'm your new neighbor."
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"- Penny. - Leonard. Sheldon."
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"Hi."
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"Well...."
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"Oh, welcome to the building."
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"Oh, thank you. Maybe we can have coffee sometime."
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"- Great. - Great."
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"Well, bye."
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"Should we have invited her for lunch?"
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"No. We're gonna start season two of Battlestar Galactica."
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"Not with commentary."
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"I think we should be good neighbors."
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"We never invited Louie/Louise over."
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"Well, and that was wrong of us."
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"We need to widen our circle."
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"I have a very wide circle."
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"yes, and you've never met one of them."
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"That's the beauty of it."
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"I'm gonna invite her over."
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"We'll have a nice meal and chat."
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"Chat? We don't chat, at least not off-line."
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"Well, it's not difficult."
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"You just listen to what she says..."
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"...and then you say something appropriate in response."
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"To what end?"
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"- Hi. Again. - Hi."
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"Anyway..."
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"...we brought home lndian food..."
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"...and I know that moving can be stressful..."
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