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Clips from Scrubs - My Mirror Image (S06E06)

"Welcome home, Perry."
Scrubs
"Here's the new program."
Scrubs
"And I'm gonna try to keep from hating the unborn baby"
Scrubs
"in my belly that's made my ass so big,"
Scrubs
"I can't fit the whole thing on a toilet when I pee 800 times a day."
Scrubs
"You love spaghetti. You had some just last night, didn't you?"
Scrubs
"- No, I didn't. - Jordan, the boy is lying to me."
Scrubs
"Oh, Perry, nobody likes a tattletale."
Scrubs
"Nobody does, Perry."
Scrubs
"All right, champ, just in case you get hungry later on..."
Scrubs
"(LAUGHING)"
Scrubs
"I'm carrying under-wood right now."
Scrubs
"I'm downloading *NS YNC's Bye, Bye, Bye."
Scrubs
"I defy anyone not to shake their butt to it."
Scrubs
"I'm bringing it back."
Scrubs
"Just like you brought back Pop Rocks?"
Scrubs
"(POP ROCKS CRACKLING)"
Scrubs
"Yeah, well, you're not as big a trendsetter as you think you are."
Scrubs
"getting co-workers I just met pregnant."
Scrubs
"Kim, I'm not really sure how to phrase this,"
Scrubs
"Have there been other penises?"
Scrubs
"- Cool. - Are you okay?"
Scrubs
"(SCREAMING)"
Scrubs
"Yeah."
Scrubs
"Said the father of my unborn child."
Scrubs
"(CHUCKLES)"
Scrubs
"That was a joke. Oh, come on."
Scrubs
""Thanks a latte"?"
Scrubs
"Well, that's different, Kim. That's hilarious. This is life-changing."
Scrubs
"That always gets 'em."
Scrubs
"I have to go to the hospital."
Scrubs
"I prefer croissants."
Scrubs
"you're gonna find somebody to talk to about this while I'm gone."
Scrubs
"You were right, Turk."
Scrubs
"Now listen! This is a hospital, not a discotheque."
Scrubs
"No problem, I'll just go chill at my deck with a little vino."
Scrubs
"Unfortunately, it was still a hangout spot for gay seniors."
Scrubs
"so I have nothing against giant queens, per se, all right?"
Scrubs
"Excuse me."
Scrubs
"Let's roll."
Scrubs
"(ALL WHOOPING)"
Scrubs
"(ERE IT GOES AGAIN PLAYING)"
Scrubs
"Hold up, hold up, hold up!"
Scrubs
"Las Vegas Police Department."
Scrubs
"Why didn't you answer your phone when I called you?"
Scrubs
"There it is."
Scrubs
"Well, look, I'm in surgery all morning,"
Scrubs
"Ted!"
Scrubs
"Hey, Mojambo, this here's our new flagpole."
Scrubs
"There's no flag up there."
Scrubs
"What do you want me to do in the meantime, run a pirate flag up there?"
Scrubs
"I could take her out to sea."
Scrubs
"- Are you insane? - No, I'm a pirate."
Scrubs
"For instance, the medical miracle that is one woman"
Scrubs
"actually impregnating another woman, SHEDAISY!"
Scrubs
"Coincidentally, I have a cousin named Shedaisy."
Scrubs
"Dr. Cox, you're backing off. Elliot, you go talk to him."
Scrubs
"Can't wait to talk to J.D."
Scrubs
"I mean, seriously. Having a baby, having a baby, having a second baby."
Scrubs
"Oh, having her husband's best friend's baby."
Scrubs
"That's right, Mona, everyone knows!"
Scrubs
"What are you looking at, Dr. Beardface?"
Scrubs
"You want a kid? 'Cause, I swear to God, I will mount you right now!"
Scrubs
"Quick question. What does this outfit tell you?"
Scrubs
"I have in my adult life that qualifies as "me time.""
Scrubs
"Other activities recently crossed off of that list"
Scrubs
"include my morning dump and all showers."
Scrubs
"are team sports. However, I'm here and I'm totally psyched to hear"
Scrubs
"whatever the superty-duper reason is that you paged me."
Scrubs
"Think I'm kidding?"
Scrubs
"Perry, what the hell? I just got a call from Jack's school."
Scrubs
"so he had some sort of Vietnam flashback."
Scrubs
"You need to deal with your anger issues."
Scrubs
"Seriously."
Scrubs
"What are you working on, young man?"
Scrubs
"that the pain around your areola was simple mastitis,"
Scrubs
"but it turns out that it's breast cancer."
Scrubs
"Trust me, I know what you're going through."
Scrubs
"Excuse us. Dude, please tell me you're not comparing getting cancer"
Scrubs
"- to knocking up your girlfriend. - I was trying to."
Scrubs
"What about you and the motorcycle accident guy?"
Scrubs
"to steal my pillow in the middle of the night"
Scrubs
"Hardly seems like much of a punishment"
Scrubs
"for the kid from Kenya."
Scrubs
"I mean, God's sake, he can run all day."
Scrubs
"Carla, for something to be an issue, it needs to cause a problem."
Scrubs
"remain 30 feet away from a certain telemarketer"
Scrubs
"who I visited while he was eating his dinner,"
Scrubs
"I don't see the downside."
Scrubs
"Well, now, you don't know that this gentleman is angry."
Scrubs
"Damn it! Why won't this TV go on?"
Scrubs
"Ted, I got the cola."
Scrubs
"- Did you get the Pop Rocks? - No, the vending machine was out,"
Scrubs
"so I went to the generic store and got some Fizzy Pebbles."
Scrubs
"I have to know!"
Scrubs
"Okay, what if I get a sex change operation"
Scrubs
"But if it doesn't work, you'll just be an older,"
Scrubs
"fairly ugly janitor-woman."
Scrubs
"You know, you and I are quite a bit alike."
Scrubs
"I spent most of my life trying to become a lawyer,"
Scrubs
"but I could never get my Juris Doctorate."
Scrubs
"How's that make us alike?"
Scrubs
"(LOUD POPPING)"
Scrubs
"That'll be fun to clean up."
Scrubs
"I mean, I feel like I'm drowning and it hasn't even fazed Kim."
Scrubs
"(SOBBING)"
Scrubs
"Okay, let's, close her up."
Scrubs
"- Dr. Briggs, why are you crying? - This song always gets me."
Scrubs
"I have to tell you guys something,"
Scrubs
"- Oh, no. Absolutely. - I'll try."
Scrubs
"especially when I do some of my different voices and..."
Scrubs
"And, even though I never"
Scrubs
"on one of the outlying regions."
Scrubs
"(LAUGHING)"
Scrubs
"Thank you."
Scrubs
"Anyway, I spoke to the gals up in OBG"
Scrubs
"and they said it's not uncommon for a woman to get pregnant"
Scrubs
"even if there was no actual penetration."
Scrubs
"And we decided not to have sex because,"
Scrubs
"here's the kicker,"
Scrubs
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