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Clips from South Park - Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow (S05E05)

"Not even your lives."
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"Well, guys, I guess we're going to Canada."
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"Weak."
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"- Part them! They are incensed. - Nay, come, again."
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"- Look to the queen there, buddy! - They bleed on both sides."
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"- How is it, my lord? - How is it, Laertes?"
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"Why, as a woodcock to mine own springe, Osric,"
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"I am justly killed with mine own treachery."
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"No, no, the drink, the drink."
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"Oh, villainy! Let the door be locked. Treachery!"
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"- Seek it out. - It is here, Hamlet."
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"Hamlet, thou art slain."
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"In thee there is not half an hour of life."
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"The treacherous instrument is in thy hand."
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"Unbated and envenomed."
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"The foul practise hath turned itself on me. Lo, here I lie,"
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"never to rise again."
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"Thy mother's poisoned. I can no more. The king, the king's to blame."
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"The point envenomed too!"
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"Oh, yet defend me, friends. I am but hurt."
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"Here, thou incestuous, murderous, damned Dane. Drink off this potion."
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"He is served. It is a poison tempered by himself."
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"Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet."
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"Heaven make free of it! I follow thee, guy. I am dead, Horatio."
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"Wretched queen, adieu!"
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"You that look pale and tremble at this chance, buddy,"
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"that are but mutes or audience to this act,"
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"oh, I could tell you, buddy. But let it be. Horatio, I am dead."
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"Thou livest, guy. Report me and my cause aright to the unsatisfied."
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"Never believe it. I am more an antique Roman than a Dane."
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"Jesus tap-dancing Christ, is this thing ever gonna end?"
South Park
"He has my dying voice. So tell him, with the occurrence, more and less,"
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"which have solicited. The rest is silence."
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"Now cracks a noble heart."
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"Good night, sweet prince,"
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"and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, buddy!"
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"- Phillip! Phillip! - Yes?"
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"Our town in Colorado was chosen to host Earth Day this year,"
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"Oh, really? This run of Hamlet is closing down, I'm afraid."
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"We could take it there."
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"Well, we were thinking how cool"
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"Stop right there! I'm not doing nothing with that fat-ass egomaniac."
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"But we need you."
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"and not letting me change the act. It's old and stale."
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"Look, if you don't come and do the show,"
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"Yeah, whatever, kid."
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"- He'll do it, dude. - Look, Phillip."
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"Everyone in South Park just wants to see your serious side."
South Park
"- What? - What?"
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"They told us that, "Phillip, he's the one with talent."
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""Just get him for Earth Day.""
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"Really? Well, that sounds interesting."
South Park
"I didn't say he wouldn't be there, either."
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"Look, all we have to do is get them there, right?"
South Park
"Once Terrance and Phillip get together again, it'll be like old times."
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"Oh, Kyle, you just made a huge withdrawal at the First Bank of Lies."
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"It'll be okay."
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"Work faster! Faster, children! Earth Day is coming!"
South Park
"Well, boys, it's rehearsal time,"
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"and your Terrance and Phillip haven't shown up."
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"- They said they'd come. - I'm sure they'll be here any minute."
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"how important Earth Day is for the future of our planet."
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"Maybe you need some convincing. Karl?"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"- He's here. - Oh. Very good."
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"Mr. Phillip, I am Jack Farlis, head of the Earth Day Committee."
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"Thank you for being a part of this important event."
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"- Whatever. Where's my cheque? - All right, I'm here. Where do I..."
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"What's he doing here?"
South Park
"All right, let's do a rehearsal so that the camera crew can get a look at it."
South Park
"Wow."
South Park
"Isn't this great, you guys seeing each other again?"
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"Yeah, you must have a lot of catching up to do."
South Park
"- But let's rehearse first. - So, this is your doing, huh, Terrance?"
South Park
"My doing? These kids called me and said it was your idea"
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"Please, you guys. This is for Earth Day."
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"You care about Mother Earth, don't you?"
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"But I want my cheque made out to me, not both of us!"
South Park
"- Ditto! - Fine."
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"All right, we'll come off the speech"
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"about the dying whales, and then action!"
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"- Doctor, doctor, I've cracked my ass. - Really? Let me take a look."
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"Look closer."
South Park
"- Thou dost protest? - What? That's not the line, asshole!"
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"You're right. It's a better one, asshole!"
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"Just do the bit right, dickface!"
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"Why don't you go eat some more pudding, you fat-ass drug addict?"
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"I may be fat, but at least I didn't get hair plugs!"
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"That's it! I ain't doing nothing with Kuko the Whale!"
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"I never needed you in the first place, you hack!"
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"You can't leave! The show starts soon!"
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"Boys, you've got three hours to get those two back together."
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"Do I need to remind you what will happen if you don't? Karl!"
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"- You bastards! - Good luck, boys."
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"We've got to get them back together, you guys."
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"They could do this to us."
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"Tom, I'm standing in South Park, Colorado,"
South Park
"where Earth Day 2001 is in full force."
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"the entertainment on stage,"
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"which is being broadcast live all over the country."
South Park
"This eco-happy crowd is thrilled and waiting in anticipation"
South Park
"for the arrival of Terrance and Phillip, who are promised by these four boys."
South Park
"What a touching and true song. You know, it's true."
South Park
"- Republicans are ruining the Earth. - Republicans are ruining the Earth."
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"All right. Well, I think I know why most of you tuned in today."
South Park
"How about some Earth Day entertainment?"
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"Hooray for the Earth! We must protect it."
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"And now, as promised, here are Terrance and Phillip on video!"
South Park
"On video?"
South Park
"But a fast-paced rocket ride to success"
South Park
"would bring them to the depths of despair."
South Park
"This is Terrance and Phillip, Behind the Blow."
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"- Wow! - Wow!"
South Park
"What the hell do you call this?"
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"It's Terrance and Phillip, Behind the Blow."
South Park
"I taped it last month."
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"We promised people Terrance and Phillip,"
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"You've ruined the Earth for the last time, boys!"
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"Terrance was born Terrance Henry Stoot,"
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"in the small Canadian village of Toronto."
South Park
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