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Clips from South Park - Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow (S05E05)

"And I'm pleased to announce that the national Earth Day organisation"
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"has chosen South Park as its location for the Earth Day Brainwashing Festival."
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"The heads of the Earth Day Brainwashing organisation"
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"are here to tell you all about it."
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"Hello, children. I know you're all very excited"
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"put on in your town."
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"You care very much about the Earth, don't you?"
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"- Yes. - Good,"
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"because it's up to all of you to get lots of people to come"
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"and make it look great."
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"The festival is on Friday,"
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"so we'll start getting it ready tomorrow night."
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"We've all gotta pitch in."
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"I'm sorry, but the four of us can't help tomorrow night."
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"- Yeah! - You what?"
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"We got tickets to see Terrance and Phillip live"
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"in Denver tomorrow night. We paid 40 bucks apiece for them."
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"And Terrance and Phillip are more important than Mother Earth?"
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"You don't care about Terrance and Phillip."
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"Nothing matters more than saving the planet from Republicans."
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"You don't need to see Terrance and Phillip."
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"No, dude, we really, really do."
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"Their will is strong."
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"Boys, I'm sorry, but nothing's more important than Earth Day."
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"See, we're the official presidents of the Terrance and Phillip Fan Club."
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"And we're going to see them tomorrow,"
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"'cause we can get them to perform at the Earth Day festival."
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"Terrance and Phillip would draw huge ratings"
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"from children all over the country."
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"Very well, kids. We'll work on getting the event ready here,"
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"and you go get Terrance and Phillip."
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"- All right! - All right!"
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"You'd better not promise things to Earth Day people"
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"that you can't deliver."
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"Earth Day people can be very unforgiving."
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"No problem. No problem."
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"Ladies and gentlemen!"
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"Hello, Denver!"
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"How are we all feeling tonight? Pretty good?"
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"Hey, do you all remember this one?"
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"Doctor, doctor, I think I cracked my ass."
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""Really? Let me take a look.""
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"Look closer."
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"Where the hell is Phillip?"
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"Phillip! Phillip! Phillip! Phillip! Phillip! Phillip! Phillip!"
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"- Hello, Terrance. - Hello, Phillip."
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"Phillip? That's not Phillip."
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"- Say, Phillip, I have a question for you. - Okay, shoot."
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"I think this new guy's funny."
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"And now here's a classic Terrance and Phillip sketch"
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"that I wrote back in '62."
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"- He sure did. - What's the person's name?"
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"- Who. - The person that passed gas!"
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"- Who passed gas. - Now, why are you asking me?"
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"- That's the man's name. - That's whose name?"
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"Yes!"
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"and we've got to find out what."
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"Look, buddy, all I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name that farted?"
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"Who?"
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"Come on, guys, we're getting to the bottom of this."
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"- Excuse us. - Where do you think you're going?"
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"- We have to talk to Terrance. - Yeah, right."
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"It's okay. We're the official presidents of the Terrance and Phillip fan club."
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"of Terrance and Phillip Fan Club line."
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"Dude, gay!"
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"You don't understand. We saved Terrance and Phillip's lives once."
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"You and about 1,000 other people at one time or another."
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"Man, this sucks."
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"- Are you guys official presidents, too? - Don't talk to us, kid."
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"Hey! Look at that line! It's way shorter."
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"I don't think we're female groupies or random sluts."
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"Kenny's a random slut."
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"Well, maybe we can sneak in over there. Come on."
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"Yummy."
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"It was so great meeting you."
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"- I feel like we really shared something. - We sure did, baby. Next!"
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"- Could I just have you sign my breasts? - But what do I get in return?"
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"- Whatever you want. - Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good, baby."
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"- Oh, Terrance, I love you. I love you! - You like that? Yeah."
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"- I love you! I love you! - Good."
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"- Man, it smells down there. - Jesus Christ! That was fast!"
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"- What the hell? - Oh, wow! We had quadruplets!"
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"We're not quadruplets, Terrance."
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"We snuck in that woman's spandex to get in here."
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"What do you want, an autograph or something?"
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"Our school is putting on a big show for Earth Day,"
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"and we promised people we could get you to perform."
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"Earth Day, huh? That sounds like a very noble cause."
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"- Who? - Phillip, your partner."
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""Hey, where's Phillip?""
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"You know, I'll let you tater-tots in on a little secret. Phillip is a hack."
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"You know who wrote all the Terrance and Phillip stuff? Me!"
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"Phillip never did anything but read his lines."
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"But the guy who replaced him sucks."
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"I know. I know he sucks."
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"To be honest, things haven't been going so well lately."
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"Why? What the hell does Phillip do?"
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"Because, dude, it's Terrance and Phillip."
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"And apparently, so is the act, and so is the money."
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"What if we can get Phillip to agree to get back together?"
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"Good luck getting Phillip!"
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"He left because he wanted to do more "serious" stuff."
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"Last I heard, he was doing Canadian Shakespeare in Toronto."
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"Well, in that case,"
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"Work! Work, children!"
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"Excuse me?"
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"and he says there actually isn't any concrete evidence of global warming."
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"That's not true."
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"Global warming is going to kill us all. The Republicans are responsible."
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"Thank you."
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"so I can tell them their schedule."
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"- They're not together any more, dude. - You better be joking."
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"We've already announced their participation."
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"You promised us Terrance and Phillip."
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"We therefore promised the world Terrance and Phillip."
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"You will get us Terrance and Phillip, or else."
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"But there's nothing we can do."
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"Then you'd better get your asses to Canada and get him."
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"We'll make travel arrangements."
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"Nothing is more important than the environment, boys."
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