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Clips from South Park - Jared Has Aides (S06E06)

"Wow, that was pretty good."
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"All right, it's settled! Come on, Butters!"
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"Don't forget, a third of that $4 million is mine."
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"Hello?"
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"I’m just checking in on you, Butters."
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"Hey, do I hear the television?"
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"We told you no television while you're grounded."
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"Oh, gee whiz, I’m not watching television, Dad,"
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"I’m just laying around jacking it."
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"Jacking it? Jacking what?"
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"Well, my hot, spicy boner, of course, Dad."
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"What?"
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"with that kind of language?"
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"Loosen up, you bloody vaginal belch."
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"Oh, you are gonna get it, mister! You just wait till I get home!"
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"Bring it on, queer bait."
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"Yes."
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"I tell my girlfriend I have aides and she leaves!"
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"What's wrong with aides?"
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"Why doesn't anyone want me to give them aides?"
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"Welcome to City Wok. I take order, please?"
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"Here's the before and after photos!"
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"- He lose weight eating City Wok? - That's right!"
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"Oh, no. No way."
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"- Why not? - Don't you know?"
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"Everybody hate Jared!"
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"He want everyone in world to have AIDS."
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"- He sick in the head. - What?"
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"I no want City Wok have nothing to do with Jared and his AIDS!"
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"Wait, everyone hates Jared now?"
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"They gonna kill Jared downtown right now."
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"Come on, guys. We gotta sort this out."
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"Here's some anthrax for you!"
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"Oh, Phillip, your anthrax has given me colon cancer!"
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"Hello."
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"Butters, your father called and said you made him very upset!"
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"Yeah, well, Dad's being a little pussy, Mom."
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"Oh, not from you dumb asses, that's for sure."
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"Oh. You just wait till I get home, mister!"
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"I’ll be waiting with bells on, you old, horse-banging skank."
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"Hey! That's some anthrax over there!"
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"Why did I ever do those stupid commercials?"
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"Do you have anything to say before you die?"
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"Wait!"
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"You're all making a mistake!"
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"Stay back, children. Jared wants to give you AIDS."
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"No, you don't understand."
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"I can't believe... I didn't even think of what I was saying."
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"So he was saying children should have help like he had."
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"Yeah!"
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"This has got to be about the biggest misunderstanding ever!"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"I told my girlfriend I wanted her to share my aides!"
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""AIDS for Everyone Foundation"?"
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"Oh, brother!"
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"Hey. We're all laughing."
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"Hey, yeah."
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"We would have never laughed about this before."
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"Well, don't you see what this means?"
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"It’s been 22.3 years,"
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"so AIDS is finally funny!"
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"- It’s happened! - Hey, everybody,"
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"AIDS is finally funny!"
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"Hurray!"
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"AIDS!"
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"Then, it's time! We can undo the banner!"
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"Tom, I’m standing in the town square, where just moments ago,"
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"it was declared that AIDS can finally be joked about."
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"What a great day for humanity."
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"Oh, boy. This is fantastic!"
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"I’m so glad AIDS is funny now."
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"Okay, so now do you want to use our friend in your commercials?"
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"But Jared got millions!"
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"Hey, I’m not a Subway, I City Wok."
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"City Wok don't have million dollar."
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"Oh, God damn it!"
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"- Just forget the whole thing then! - Okay."
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"Hey, you kids know why chicken cross the road?"
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"- Why? - 'Cause it had AIDS."
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"Yeah, but, you know, I’ve learned something today."
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"It would have been wrong for us to exploit Butters' weight loss"
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"because then lots of fat people would have believed it"
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"and then gone and eaten a ton of Chinese food"
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"They'd still be fat, and we'd be responsible"
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"Besides, I'd get grounded."
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"Oh, Jesus, I’m supposed to be grounded!"
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"Are my mom and dad back home yet?"
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"No, but they're due home any minute. Come on, you're just in time."
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"Mom and Dad didn't find out I left the house, did they?"
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"No, I totally covered for you."
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"They completely believed I was you on the phone."
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"and I ate a little food so it looks like you ate,"
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"- and I fed your cat. - Perfect!"
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"All right, I better get out of here before they get back."
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"Hey, Eric."
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"Well, thanks for covering for me. You're a real pal."
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"Butters, it was my pleasure."
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"Hi, Mom and Dad!"
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"- Dad! - You don't even know"
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"the trouble you're in, mister!"
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"What'd I do? What'd I do?"
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"Do you think you're tough now? Answer me!"
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"Oh, man, if I was older I would totally start jacking off right now."
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"Kenny's dead and you're all gonna have to learn to deal with that."
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"City Wok and cutting a deal with them?"
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"Now he's got lots of moneys and girls"
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"You have to. Here, have some more mayonnaise."
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"- How do you feel, Butters? - Well, kind of like Cartman."
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"Am I being fired?"
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"But I won't stop there!"
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"and then I got in double Dutch for having liposuction,"
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"Your anthrax has given me colon cancer!"
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"Butters! Where did you get that kind of smart mouth?"
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"Don't you "Hi, Mom and Dad" us, you little punk!"
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"- Did you bring the camera? - Yeah, we're all set!"
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"Hello there, children!"
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"Shut... Shut up, you guys. Shut up..."
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"Hello, City Wok!"
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"- Oh, my God. - Is he serious?"
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"Jared, what's this all about?"
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