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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S02E02)

"Well, what the...? Krieger."
Archer (2009)
"- Jesus. - Probably why I've been in a great mood."
Archer (2009)
"...and, uh, your medical marijuana. - Oh, you poor thing."
Archer (2009)
"Um, name's Archer."
Archer (2009)
"Ruth. And don't you worry, dear."
Archer (2009)
"Don't you worry, Ruth. I'm gonna make them pay for it."
Archer (2009)
"What are you going to do?"
Archer (2009)
"Dogs of war."
Archer (2009)
"[PHARMACIST WHIMPERING]"
Archer (2009)
"Just film the confessions, Lana, don't editorialize."
Archer (2009)
"- Do you get it? - Yes. Look, please."
Archer (2009)
"No, I get it. I get it."
Archer (2009)
"- You have a lot of guns. - And a knife."
Archer (2009)
"Which I am going to push, very slowly, into your urethra."
Archer (2009)
"I could barely even keep up, he was spilling the beans so fast."
Archer (2009)
"Well, you threatened to shove a knife up his dick hole. Which, again, ick."
Archer (2009)
"- You really wanna take on the Irish mob? - No, I don't."
Archer (2009)
"And why couldn't it be the Brazilian mob?"
Archer (2009)
"[SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]"
Archer (2009)
"[GUNSHOTS AND MEN GRUNTING]"
Archer (2009)
"You know who you're messing with, boyo? You have any idea who our boss is?"
Archer (2009)
"- Good Jesus, Archer. - What, Lana?"
Archer (2009)
"Hundred people surveyed, number one answer's still on the board."
Archer (2009)
"Name the douchebag who's in charge."
Archer (2009)
"Eh-ehh! Need an answer."
Archer (2009)
"Mm. Cock-flavored spit."
Archer (2009)
"Guys, that's two strikes."
Archer (2009)
"- Okay, kid. - He is a kid, Archer."
Archer (2009)
"Lana, you're in the isolation booth."
Archer (2009)
"Looking for the douchebag who's..."
Archer (2009)
"...have been trying to fight cancer with your boss' fake chemo drugs."
Archer (2009)
"Chemo?"
Archer (2009)
"They told me it was cream for male pattern baldness."
Archer (2009)
"- As I'm sure you love your kneecap. - Franny Delaney."
Archer (2009)
"They make the pharmacist buy the real stuff."
Archer (2009)
"You guys are in on this? And I was worried about sounding racist."
Archer (2009)
"They can't read English."
Archer (2009)
"All those beaners care about is taking American jobs."
Archer (2009)
"And I'm pretty sure... Guys, feel free to correct me."
Archer (2009)
"[ARCHER SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]"
Archer (2009)
"- Plus they're gagged. - Still."
Archer (2009)
"Wait, what are you doing?"
Archer (2009)
"I know, but now in mid-rampage? You really think that's a good idea?"
Archer (2009)
"Hmm. Let me see, to take my prescribed chemotherapy..."
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, I'm sorry I called you an idiot, Lana. LANA: Ha, ha. Yeah?"
Archer (2009)
"Sorry. Again. I'm not myself."
Archer (2009)
"Not great."
Archer (2009)
"[VOMITING]"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: I mean, was I there for every single recital and lacrosse game? No."
Archer (2009)
"But I just can't even imagine life without my precious Sterling."
Archer (2009)
"- And have you ever told him that? - What, are you kidding? No."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, with high self-esteem?"
Archer (2009)
"...so I'm making him some Portuguese flashcards."
Archer (2009)
"Portuguese? But isn't...?"
Archer (2009)
"I thought Krieger was a German name."
Archer (2009)
"Über German. It means "warrior.""
Archer (2009)
"- Lot of Portuguese in Rhode Island. - Where you're from."
Archer (2009)
"- "Aha" what? - It's Austin, duh."
Archer (2009)
"[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]"
Archer (2009)
"[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]"
Archer (2009)
"Duh."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Because I don't want it in my car."
Archer (2009)
"- You might've missed your shot at Delaney. - Well, then now this is happening."
Archer (2009)
"- Lana, did you see my scarf? - Yes, Archer, I saw your scarf."
Archer (2009)
"- All my hair fell out. - I'm sorry."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, I think it's your sweetness."
Archer (2009)
"- But, uh, it's not good, huh? - No, dear."
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah. LANA: Archer."
Archer (2009)
"- Ha, ha. What? - Archer."
Archer (2009)
"KRIEGER: Leave me alone. I am not a Nazi."
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah, well, what about your father? - No, he was a scientist."
Archer (2009)
"- Pretty sure the Nazis had scientists. - No, they didn't."
Archer (2009)
"That's why we... Ahem."
Archer (2009)
"They lost the war. Lack of science."
Archer (2009)
"Thanks, Woodsy. The Drug Owl."
Archer (2009)
"And do it badass like I would..."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, you just missed him."
Archer (2009)
"Shame, too, because he just loves the E Street Band."
Archer (2009)
"- Ow! What the shit, Archer? ARCHER: Oh. Uh-oh."
Archer (2009)
"Speaking of hurt, boy, you're stepping into a great big world of it."
Archer (2009)
"- Lana! Aah! - What?"
Archer (2009)
"And second, until I find out where Delaney is, please stop shooting people."
Archer (2009)
"Go ahead and shoot me."
Archer (2009)
"Well, heh, you say that."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Don't worry about what I'm doing, concentrate on what you're doing."
Archer (2009)
"What am I doing?"
Archer (2009)
"...for your homophobic remarks."
Archer (2009)
"I'm sorry, darling. I had no idea you were a gay."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: What? - Nothing. Shut up."
Archer (2009)
"- What? LANA: What?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, sorry, do you not? Heh, heh, okay."
Archer (2009)
"All right, the Mark 2 has kind of nubbly ridges."
Archer (2009)
"Do you feel those? Different circumstances, might feel good."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, Jesus."
Archer (2009)
"See? The striking lever's the same, though."
Archer (2009)
"It's spring-loaded. Which reminds me..."
Archer (2009)
"Now, where's your cancer-patient-killing boss?"
Archer (2009)
"- And also kidding, it's a smoke grenade. WHITEY: Oh, thank..."
Archer (2009)
"- Asshole. - What?"
Archer (2009)
"What?"
Archer (2009)
"What, Lana?"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: What?"
Archer (2009)
"I thought it was a smoke grenade."
Archer (2009)
"They look exactly nothing alike."
Archer (2009)
"What?"
Archer (2009)
"[TIRES SCREECH]"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: What are you doing? Delaney's not here."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: No, but my ENT doctor is."
Archer (2009)
"Do you like him? Because I sure do."
Archer (2009)
"- What was his name again? NURSE: Mr. Archer?"
Archer (2009)
"- I guess you heard about Ruth. - What?"
Archer (2009)
"About Ruth. I guess you heard."
Archer (2009)
"- What? - Ruth."
Archer (2009)
"- Your friend is dead. - What?"
Archer (2009)
"Regis. I wake up early every morning and watch Regis."
Archer (2009)
"And that smile of his, it gets me through the day."
Archer (2009)
"You know what, I'm gonna start doing that, Ruth."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Archer. - Hm?"
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Archer. - What? Oh."
Archer (2009)
"Chain-smoking joints the size of tampons."
Archer (2009)
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