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Clips from Louie (2010) - God (S01E01)

"...sentenced to scourge and crucifixion by Pontius Pilate."
Louie (2010)
"May I have a volunteer?"
Louie (2010)
"You."
Louie (2010)
"Me? Yes, come up here."
Louie (2010)
"All right, um.... Take your shirt off."
Louie (2010)
"Well, let's see."
Louie (2010)
"First thing..."
Louie (2010)
"...producing spurts of arterial bleeding."
Louie (2010)
"...his body and hangs down in ribbons."
Louie (2010)
"And the scalp, being of great vascularity, bleeds profusely."
Louie (2010)
"Blood, blood, blood, blood, blood."
Louie (2010)
"So our victim..."
Louie (2010)
"Square iron nails are driven through the wrist to the small bones of the arm."
Louie (2010)
"He is tilted up, and as he does, his body sags down..."
Louie (2010)
"...putting his full weight on the nail in his feet."
Louie (2010)
"...he puts the full weight on the median nerve..."
Louie (2010)
"He's trading one pain for another."
Louie (2010)
"...the chill of death creep through his tissues."
Louie (2010)
"I'll need another volunteer."
Louie (2010)
"Me? - Yeah, you."
Louie (2010)
"Do you understand what you were just told?"
Louie (2010)
"Show me, come on."
Louie (2010)
"Take this, take it."
Louie (2010)
"Okay, raise it above your head."
Louie (2010)
"Okay, go ahead then, drive it in."
Louie (2010)
"Do it. Do it."
Louie (2010)
"What's the matter?"
Louie (2010)
"You drove in his nails with your sins."
Louie (2010)
"The son of God, and you let him die with your careless, faithless sins."
Louie (2010)
"And you won't nail them into this brat? This godless boy?"
Louie (2010)
"Go ahead. Go ahead."
Louie (2010)
"Go ahead."
Louie (2010)
"Thank you, doctor. That's all for today."
Louie (2010)
"I never believed in any of that shit before."
Louie (2010)
"I gotta go, see you later."
Louie (2010)
"See you."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Louie (2010)
"It's all right."
Louie (2010)
"Vandalism and desecration of church property is a serious offense."
Louie (2010)
"But he will have to be punished."
Louie (2010)
"At home."
Louie (2010)
"Uh-huh."
Louie (2010)
"It's my fault he got nailed to the cross and blood spurted out of his muscles..."
Louie (2010)
"I steal sometimes and I do stuff I shouldn't do."
Louie (2010)
"I drove the nails into Jesus and damaged his nerves and killed him."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, my God. Wait, is that what they're teaching you in there?"
Louie (2010)
"Yes, it's true. No, it's not true."
Louie (2010)
"It's not? No."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, you were nowhere near the place."
Louie (2010)
"Okay, I mean, you make mistakes, you do bad things sometimes..."
Louie (2010)
"But you had nothing to do with it."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, if you ask me, this whole thing's a big cover-up."
Louie (2010)
"How could he do that, really? Come on."
Louie (2010)
"Well, then, why do you make me come here?"
Louie (2010)
"I don't know, I don't know."
Louie (2010)
"You know, I thought it was selfish..."
Louie (2010)
"But if I'd known it was gonna stress you out this much..."
Louie (2010)
"...I never would have done it."
Louie (2010)
"Well, I don't want to go anymore."
Louie (2010)
"It's all the tone in your voice, that's the weird part."
Louie (2010)
"It's a very subtle sin, because you can say, "Jesus Christ," you're fine."
Louie (2010)
"But if you say, "Jesus Christ," you go to hell forever."
Louie (2010)
"There must be at least one dude who was right on the line..."
Louie (2010)
"...he's like, "Seriously? For that, that's it? Seriously?"
Louie (2010)
"It was a huge pumpkin. What, was I gonna not say anything?""
Louie (2010)
"It's one of the top Ten Commandments. It's in the Ten Commandments..."
Louie (2010)
"...to not take the Lord's name in vain. Rape isn't up there, by the way."
Louie (2010)
"I think it's so unfair, though, to send people to hell for saying Jesus Christ..."
Louie (2010)
"...because it's just too satisfying."
Louie (2010)
"I don't know why that is, but it just feels good. Oh, Jesus Christ."
Louie (2010)
"It just feels good, it cleans you out. I don't know why."
Louie (2010)
"Whether you're anger or in pain or having sex..."
Louie (2010)
"What did folks say before that dude?"
Louie (2010)
"The people watching him be crucified, what could they even say..."
Louie (2010)
"...watching that happen? They're like...."
Louie (2010)
"That is bananas."
Louie (2010)
"I'll shit right on the step right now. How much will you give me?"
Louie (2010)
"Give me 10 cents."
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah"
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, you're gonna die"
Louie (2010)
"Why would you take that risk?"
Louie (2010)
"Because every story-- Abraham, he went to Abraham in the middle of the night."
Louie (2010)
"So..."
Louie (2010)
"Goes, wakes up Isaac, takes him to a mountain somewhere."
Louie (2010)
"But he took him to a-- Woke the poor kid up, dressed him, took him to a mountain."
Louie (2010)
""Okay, I'll do it." "Why are you doing it?""
Louie (2010)
"...who was thus instructed by the Jews..."
Louie (2010)
"I can see that I have not imparted to you the true nature of Christ's suffering."
Louie (2010)
"...I have brought someone here who will give it to you in detail."
Louie (2010)
"Yes. Just like that."
Louie (2010)
"And these thongs of leather rip the skin of the back..."
Louie (2010)
"...and then they cut deeper into the subcutaneous tissues..."
Louie (2010)
"The flesh underneath is just pulp."
Louie (2010)
"The robe, which is fused to the dripping wound of his back..."
Louie (2010)
"Come up here."
Louie (2010)
"Take this. Show me where the nail goes in."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Louie (2010)
"I did it, it's my fault. I didn't mean to."
Louie (2010)
"I could have your son brought up on charges."
Louie (2010)
"...and his skin was all ribbons."
Louie (2010)
"Jesus was a really, really nice guy..."
Louie (2010)
"...and, boy, did he get his for that."
Louie (2010)
"...whether there is or there isn't. You have to take that on yourself."
Louie (2010)
"It's all on you."
Louie (2010)
"Just for saying it like that."
Louie (2010)
"...who was like, "Jesus Christ." And then he was in hell..."
Louie (2010)
"...or all three at the same time."
Louie (2010)
"How did anybody express themselves..."
Louie (2010)
"Even the people that knew him, how did they, how did they--?"
Louie (2010)
"I don't have five bucks."
Louie (2010)
"Brian, I do not have any money."
Louie (2010)
"Well, what do you have?"
Louie (2010)
"Fine, I'll do it for that."
Louie (2010)
"And as he pushes himself upward to avoid this torment..."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sorry. I did it."
Louie (2010)
"But you don't even have to say something that terrible."
Louie (2010)
"But he came back. No, he...."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, it's a big deal, religion."
Louie (2010)
"They put a robe on his back..."
Louie (2010)
"And Abraham's like, "You mean Isaac?""
Louie (2010)
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