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Clips from Louie (2010) - So Old / Playdate (S01E01)

"Like they never heard of divorce or people dying."
Louie (2010)
"And they go, "I'm so sorry.""
Louie (2010)
"Like, you didn't say you were so sorry when I was stuck in a shitty marriage."
Louie (2010)
"Well, most divorced people are depressing."
Louie (2010)
"They're lost."
Louie (2010)
"You're doing fine. You're obviously a great dad."
Louie (2010)
"What? How do you know I'm such a great dad?"
Louie (2010)
"Just because I'm in the same room with my children, that's it?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, exactly."
Louie (2010)
"Just by showing up, you're father of the year."
Louie (2010)
"You're here, you're peeling a carrot. You're amazing."
Louie (2010)
"That's kind of offensive to fathers. Well, it should be."
Louie (2010)
"Fathers should be offended all the time. They stink."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, come on."
Louie (2010)
"Not around."
Louie (2010)
"Dude, take the compliment. You're a great dad."
Louie (2010)
"Thanks."
Louie (2010)
"Daddy, we're chasing Serge."
Louie (2010)
"That's great, honey."
Louie (2010)
"I know you told me her name but I forgot. What is it?"
Louie (2010)
"Doesn't matter."
Louie (2010)
"Okay."
Louie (2010)
"What's the worst thought you ever had about your kids?"
Louie (2010)
"I don't know, you go first."
Louie (2010)
"All right. Um..."
Louie (2010)
"But sometimes, I think about hitting him."
Louie (2010)
"Like, I picture it, like a fantasy."
Louie (2010)
"Come on, that's not so bad."
Louie (2010)
"Well, I mean, I don't think about it when he's being bad..."
Louie (2010)
"...or I'm having a hard time with him or anything like that, I just--"
Louie (2010)
"I think about it when I'm bored."
Louie (2010)
"Or when I'm bored of being a mom..."
Louie (2010)
"...or when he's just boring."
Louie (2010)
"I just think about hitting him right in his stupid little face."
Louie (2010)
"Ha-ha-ha. Oh, my God."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, my God. I know."
Louie (2010)
"Jesus. All right, so, what's yours?"
Louie (2010)
"Oh. Uh...."
Louie (2010)
"I can't think of anything."
Louie (2010)
"That's not fair. You're a piece of shit. You're gonna make me burn in hell alone?"
Louie (2010)
"What? Hurry. Okay, okay, okay."
Louie (2010)
"All right, you know what?"
Louie (2010)
"That's the day I stop being a dad, of children, officially."
Louie (2010)
"I just become just some dude."
Louie (2010)
"I think on that day..."
Louie (2010)
"...I might kill myself."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, my God."
Louie (2010)
"Please do it now."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, my God, you're the biggest bummer I ever met."
Louie (2010)
"Pamela?"
Louie (2010)
"Pamela?"
Louie (2010)
"Oh, hey, Serge, your mom is-- She just got tired."
Louie (2010)
"She had too much wine."
Louie (2010)
"Mama. Mama, wake up."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, honey. Okay, we're going now."
Louie (2010)
"Thank you so much. Thanks for everything."
Louie (2010)
"Bye, girls. You're going? All right, well...."
Louie (2010)
"Grab your shoes."
Louie (2010)
"All right. Okay."
Louie (2010)
"Sure."
Louie (2010)
"Thanks for coming."
Louie (2010)
"I've never gotten laid because of the way I look, in my life."
Louie (2010)
"I know that. I've never gained from my looks at all."
Louie (2010)
"It's never-- It's not like, "Oh, they're going, what am I gonna do now?""
Louie (2010)
"I've never gained any advantage in life. I've never been laid because of how I look."
Louie (2010)
"I've never been a guy who, I just walk in a room and women go, oh, oh."
Louie (2010)
"They drop their microphones and start masturbating..."
Louie (2010)
"...their vaginas and anuses at the same time."
Louie (2010)
"I'm not that guy."
Louie (2010)
"There are those guys."
Louie (2010)
"I'm not that guy."
Louie (2010)
"Then later that night, she's like, "I can't believe I'm having sex with that weird guy.""
Louie (2010)
"I don't know what kind of position we're in that she's doing this..."
Louie (2010)
"...and I'm doing this:"
Louie (2010)
"Just-- Kind of just poking her."
Louie (2010)
"And she's like, "Really?""
Louie (2010)
""Yeah, this is all I like. I don't-- Nothing else works. Sorry.""
Louie (2010)
"I can't-- I just can't get organized, you know?"
Louie (2010)
"I feel like my whole life is just-- I feel like I'm underwater."
Louie (2010)
"I'm just overwhelmed by everything that I have to do."
Louie (2010)
"Have you ever heard..."
Louie (2010)
"...of someone dying..."
Louie (2010)
"...and then you got an erection?"
Louie (2010)
"What?"
Louie (2010)
"No."
Louie (2010)
"No, that never-- That never happened to me."
Louie (2010)
"That happened to me."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, no, I was thinking of something else. That's...."
Louie (2010)
"Hi. I just wanted to say I thought you were really funny."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, you've given up, which makes you grounded."
Louie (2010)
"Okay."
Louie (2010)
"The fatigue problem is what was identified in the first quarter of this school year..."
Louie (2010)
"It's all right."
Louie (2010)
"Do you think it's because you're fat?"
Louie (2010)
"Like, the day I just-- I just become a guy, not Daddy."
Louie (2010)
"I'm like, "I know, but let me just talk to you for a minute.""
Louie (2010)
"It's just a weird kind of behavior."
Louie (2010)
"I hate you."
Louie (2010)
"Tell me. Tell me how old you are. I'm 42."
Louie (2010)
"I remember smoking on airplanes."
Louie (2010)
"Animals that watch us have sex must be like:"
Louie (2010)
"...I eat whatever's left in his bowl while he's in the tub."
Louie (2010)