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Clips from BrainDead - Playing Politics: Living Life in the Shadow of the Budget Showdown (S01E01)

No. I'm good, I can work.

"No. I'm good, I can work."

BrainDead

in the waiting room.

"in the waiting room."

BrainDead

These are really great, Annie.

"These are really great, Annie."

BrainDead

Thanks, there's more on my blog.

"Thanks, there's more on my blog."

BrainDead

We visit 20 monuments in 20 days.

"We visit 20 monuments in 20 days."

BrainDead

We've raised $43,000, so far.

"We've raised $43,000, so far."

BrainDead

So you're looking for a donation from our office.

"So you're looking for a donation from our office."

BrainDead

sure, that would always be great, but...

"sure, that would always be great, but..."

BrainDead

We're one monument short of reaching our goal.

"We're one monument short of reaching our goal."

BrainDead

The Lincoln Memorial, it's closed.

"The Lincoln Memorial, it's closed."

BrainDead

Because of the shutdown.

"Because of the shutdown."

BrainDead

to complete the 20.

"to complete the 20."

BrainDead

Have you talked to the Park Service?

"Have you talked to the Park Service?"

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Yes, they said no exceptions.

"Yes, they said no exceptions."

BrainDead

I guess they have some history with shutdowns.

"I guess they have some history with shutdowns."

BrainDead

If they do it for us, they'll have to do it for everyone.

"If they do it for us, they'll have to do it for everyone."

BrainDead

We just want to be in there for a minute.

"We just want to be in there for a minute."

BrainDead

Don't worry, I won't do it for you.

"Don't worry, I won't do it for you."

BrainDead

I'll talk to my brother.

"I'll talk to my brother."

BrainDead

He's an expert at this stuff.

"He's an expert at this stuff."

BrainDead

You lost to Senator Spitz,

"You lost to Senator Spitz,"

BrainDead

but nobody saw this coming.

"but nobody saw this coming."

BrainDead

May I say something, please?

"May I say something, please?"

BrainDead

I am delighted to see the members

"I am delighted to see the members"

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of this caucus get angry.

"of this caucus get angry."

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Unfortunately, as usual,

"Unfortunately, as usual,"

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our anger is being directed at ourselves.

"our anger is being directed at ourselves."

BrainDead

This is not the time to blame Luke Healy,

"This is not the time to blame Luke Healy,"

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whose family, may I remind you,

"whose family, may I remind you,"

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has done so much for this party.

"has done so much for this party."

BrainDead

I say we table a vote on leadership,

"I say we table a vote on leadership,"

BrainDead

Thanks, Ella. This is a nightmare.

"Thanks, Ella. This is a nightmare."

BrainDead

To get the majority back, what are you doing?

"To get the majority back, what are you doing?"

BrainDead

They must have offered Senator Spitz the moon to betray us.

"They must have offered Senator Spitz the moon to betray us."

BrainDead

PAC money, influence, committee chairs...

"PAC money, influence, committee chairs..."

BrainDead

- to make room for him. - You'll find out who?

"- to make room for him. - You'll find out who?"

BrainDead

It's musical chairs.

"It's musical chairs."

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I can defend you for a little while, Luke,

"I can defend you for a little while, Luke,"

BrainDead

So if you have a plan, do it fast.

"So if you have a plan, do it fast."

BrainDead

They've been to monuments in all 50 states,

"They've been to monuments in all 50 states,"

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and now she's here to see the Lincoln Memorial,

"and now she's here to see the Lincoln Memorial,"

BrainDead

but due to the shutdown, it's closed.

"but due to the shutdown, it's closed."

BrainDead

Listen, Laurel,

"Listen, Laurel,"

BrainDead

you'll be hearing a million stories of heartbreak every day.

"you'll be hearing a million stories of heartbreak every day."

BrainDead

You can't let everyone in.

"You can't let everyone in."

BrainDead

Remember that opera singer

"Remember that opera singer"

BrainDead

- I used to date? - How did you do that?

"- I used to date? - How did you do that?"

BrainDead

She told me, when she had to do a sad scene,

"She told me, when she had to do a sad scene,"

BrainDead

she couldn't get emotional,

"she couldn't get emotional,"

BrainDead

because her throat would close up,

"because her throat would close up,"

BrainDead

If she felt too much, she couldn't do her job.

"If she felt too much, she couldn't do her job."

BrainDead

So you're saying don't feel?

"So you're saying don't feel?"

BrainDead

No, I'm saying only feel

"No, I'm saying only feel"

BrainDead

Are you still in touch with, uh,

"Are you still in touch with, uh,"

BrainDead

Wheatus's legislative director?

"Wheatus's legislative director?"

BrainDead

Gareth? Yeah, yeah, he keeps calling.

"Gareth? Yeah, yeah, he keeps calling."

BrainDead

I think he feels bad about blowing up the deal.

"I think he feels bad about blowing up the deal."

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Talk to Gareth in the greenroom.

"Talk to Gareth in the greenroom."

BrainDead

You want me to find out which Republican

"You want me to find out which Republican"

BrainDead

was demoted to make room for the Democrat?

"was demoted to make room for the Democrat?"

BrainDead

Well, he's not going to just tell me.

"Well, he's not going to just tell me."

BrainDead

I know.

"I know."

BrainDead

You want me to pimp myself out?

"You want me to pimp myself out?"

BrainDead

Metaphorically.

"Metaphorically."

BrainDead

He distracted you while Red stole Senator Spitz from us,

"He distracted you while Red stole Senator Spitz from us,"

BrainDead

I'm in danger of losing my job.

"I'm in danger of losing my job."

BrainDead

- ...we are getting flooded... - The deficit has gone down. Why won't you...?

"- ...we are getting flooded... - The deficit has gone down. Why won't you...?"

BrainDead

Senators, we're on the eve of a historic election.

"Senators, we're on the eve of a historic election."

BrainDead

The American people just want you all to work together.

"The American people just want you all to work together."

BrainDead

Ronald Reagan and Tip O'Neil were drinking buddies.

"Ronald Reagan and Tip O'Neil were drinking buddies."

BrainDead

What on God's good green earth is the hold up?

"What on God's good green earth is the hold up?"

BrainDead

- Party of Zingers. - and I'll just keep knocking them out...

"- Party of Zingers. - and I'll just keep knocking them out..."

BrainDead

You know what this is? It's a temper tantrum...

"You know what this is? It's a temper tantrum..."

BrainDead

You know, they say you can

"You know, they say you can"

BrainDead

judge a person by how fast they return a phone call.

"judge a person by how fast they return a phone call."

BrainDead

That's how this works? You take advantage of me...

"That's how this works? You take advantage of me..."

BrainDead

Remember that little speech?

"Remember that little speech?"

BrainDead

All the time, you were going behind my back

"All the time, you were going behind my back"

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- to steal a Democratic senator. - I wasn't stealing anything.

"- to steal a Democratic senator. - I wasn't stealing anything."

BrainDead

What?

"What?"

BrainDead

The apology you're struggling with.

"The apology you're struggling with."

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because he hated wasting American taxpayers money.

"because he hated wasting American taxpayers money."

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No, he switched parties because the Republicans

"No, he switched parties because the Republicans"

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- gave him a chairmanship and PAC money. - No.

"- gave him a chairmanship and PAC money. - No."

BrainDead

Is that what happened?

"Is that what happened?"

BrainDead

No comment.

"No comment."

BrainDead

Okay.

"Okay."

BrainDead

Are you going to Tax Prom?

"Are you going to Tax Prom?"

BrainDead

Going to Tax Prom.

"Going to Tax Prom."

BrainDead

I have no idea what that is.

"I have no idea what that is."

BrainDead

It's a prom run by tax lobbyists.

"It's a prom run by tax lobbyists."

BrainDead

argue about Paul Krugman, vomit on the sidewalk.

"argue about Paul Krugman, vomit on the sidewalk."

BrainDead

It's pretty fun.

"It's pretty fun."

BrainDead

I can't tell if you're being serious.

"I can't tell if you're being serious."

BrainDead

I'm being serious.

"I'm being serious."

BrainDead

You want to go?

"You want to go?"

BrainDead

Why are the Democrats being so difficult?

"Why are the Democrats being so difficult?"

BrainDead

You know the cameras are off, right?

"You know the cameras are off, right?"

BrainDead

can end the pain right now.

"can end the pain right now."

BrainDead

Just sit down and listen to our offer.

"Just sit down and listen to our offer."

BrainDead

- What offer? - Ah, ha, ha.

"- What offer? - Ah, ha, ha."

BrainDead

Oh, no, no, no.

"Oh, no, no, no."

BrainDead

We'll lay it out.

"We'll lay it out."

BrainDead

Oh, it'll be good.

"Oh, it'll be good."

BrainDead

What happened with his legislative director?

"What happened with his legislative director?"

BrainDead

Did he say anything?

"Did he say anything?"

BrainDead

But he asked me to the Tax Prom.

"But he asked me to the Tax Prom."

BrainDead

Attagirl.

"Attagirl."

BrainDead

Remember... Annie.

"Remember... Annie."

BrainDead

Lincoln Memorial.

"Lincoln Memorial."

BrainDead

No, you're not even looking at the board.

"No, you're not even looking at the board."

BrainDead

Lose.

"Lose."

BrainDead

You should have castled sooner, Michael.

"You should have castled sooner, Michael."

BrainDead

Ah.

"Ah."

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Checkmate.

"Checkmate."

BrainDead

Oscar, you haven't moved a piece yet.

"Oscar, you haven't moved a piece yet."

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You need to move a piece so that I can move a piece.

"You need to move a piece so that I can move a piece."

BrainDead

Okay, Oscar, I'm gonna...

"Okay, Oscar, I'm gonna..."

BrainDead

Six, five,

"Six, five,"

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four...

"four..."

BrainDead

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