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Clips from Broad City (2014) - Co-Op (S03E03)

"Okay, shh, shh, shh, shh. Dude, you gotta go."
Broad City (2014)
"A guy."
Broad City (2014)
"Hi, I'm Abbi."
Broad City (2014)
"I love pugs."
Broad City (2014)
"My family comes from a long line of colonial Jews."
Broad City (2014)
"On the count of three, your favorite Phish album."
Broad City (2014)
"I have to take this."
Broad City (2014)
"No, I don't need a labia reduction,"
Broad City (2014)
"I was just asking about it."
Broad City (2014)
"Listen, on paper, Abbi seems perfect."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, come here."
Broad City (2014)
"Wait, what?"
Broad City (2014)
"Abbi. I'm an artist, okay? I love Phish."
Broad City (2014)
"I wear full-length shirts."
Broad City (2014)
"This isn't me. This is me."
Broad City (2014)
"No way."
Broad City (2014)
"She would,"
Broad City (2014)
"or the fact that you tried to cheat the co-op."
Broad City (2014)
"This is a place of trust."
Broad City (2014)
"In the words of Phish,"
Broad City (2014)
""Deduct the carrots from your pay,"
Broad City (2014)
"you worthless, swampy fool.""
Broad City (2014)
""Cavern." I love that song."
Broad City (2014)
"How slick was that labia mention, right?"
Broad City (2014)
"You signed a billion-year contract"
Broad City (2014)
"specifically prohibiting the sharing of shifts."
Broad City (2014)
"into my 50s and beyond."
Broad City (2014)
"So amazing."
Broad City (2014)
"- No butter. - I just got it."
Broad City (2014)
"You two are SPs. Shitty peoples."
Broad City (2014)
"You act and you think like you're all eco-conscious."
Broad City (2014)
"But I see you with your iced coffees"
Broad City (2014)
"and your food to go."
Broad City (2014)
"You are garbage island, and you are officially"
Broad City (2014)
"disconnected from the co-op for life."
Broad City (2014)
"Fine. I hear the Bushwick co-op is better anyway."
Broad City (2014)
"All the co-ops are connected."
Broad City (2014)
"We also have connections with security at Whole Foods."
Broad City (2014)
"That's right, you two are going to be eating"
Broad City (2014)
"vending machine food"
Broad City (2014)
"and bodega veggies for the rest of your very short lives."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, Robert."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, latch."
Broad City (2014)
"And then he gave her water for her cranberry pills."
Broad City (2014)
"But you're not jealous at all?"
Broad City (2014)
"You know, if you love something, you have to let it have sex with other people."
Broad City (2014)
"'cause you also get to have sex with other people."
Broad City (2014)
"I never heard that version."
Broad City (2014)
"Totally."
Broad City (2014)
"But now, I don't have the three strains"
Broad City (2014)
"it's okay, what happened with Craig."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, he was like, really fucking hot."
Broad City (2014)
"Things just don't work out, but he was right about one thing."
Broad City (2014)
""Rift" is without a doubt Phish's best album."
Broad City (2014)
"Studio album, at least."
Broad City (2014)
"I don't think I've ever heard a fucking Phish song."
Broad City (2014)
"But, like, I feel like I get it, like, it's all, like."
Broad City (2014)
"♪ White dirty having fun in the end ♪"
Broad City (2014)
"No, dude."
Broad City (2014)
"♪ She said she don't wanna go downtown ♪"
Broad City (2014)
"♪ She wanna stay on the farm ♪"
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, we're your elders."
Broad City (2014)
"Aah!"
Broad City (2014)
"Ooh!"
Broad City (2014)
"We open in five minutes."
Broad City (2014)
"Just, um... one second."
Broad City (2014)
"you just have to work six hours, you cooperate."
Broad City (2014)
"And your legs. And your butt."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, my God."
Broad City (2014)
"More, more. More, more, more!"
Broad City (2014)
"Again! Yas, queen!"
Broad City (2014)
"There you go, you're getting it!"
Broad City (2014)
"Recognize!"
Broad City (2014)
"You okay?"
Broad City (2014)
"I brought you some comfort food. Turkey jerky."
Broad City (2014)
"Somebody groomed their dreadlocks in the bathroom."
Broad City (2014)
"You can get started by cleaning those hair stumps."
Broad City (2014)
"Exactly."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, Craig..."
Broad City (2014)
"♪ Only you ♪"
Broad City (2014)
"♪ Only she ♪♪"
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, God."
Broad City (2014)
"Road hand, whatever."
Broad City (2014)
"Sweet tat."
Broad City (2014)
"Well, she's actually mostly an illustrator."
Broad City (2014)
"And it's, like, popular toys and stuff from the '90s"
Broad City (2014)
"They're hilarious. I love it."
Broad City (2014)
"'Cause Abbi's kind of like this undiscovered genius with an ass of an angel."
Broad City (2014)
"Respect the produce, dude."
Broad City (2014)
"Um..."
Broad City (2014)
"Ilana Wexler?"
Broad City (2014)
"- Me too. - Me too."
Broad City (2014)
"but I was wondering what you think about maybe..."
Broad City (2014)
"setting me up with Abbi."
Broad City (2014)
"So you're telling me she jerked you off for eight minutes with what kind of oil?"
Broad City (2014)
"Almond."
Broad City (2014)
"Who was which spoon?"
Broad City (2014)
"♪ Huc-a-dangle, woo-hoo! ♪"
Broad City (2014)
"We are a modern day Will and Jada. We are open sex friends."
Broad City (2014)
"You are a damn king."
Broad City (2014)
"I've heard so many women say that,"
Broad City (2014)
"All right, penis kiss."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay."
Broad City (2014)
"Ab, Ab, Ab, Ab."
Broad City (2014)
"She started by jerking him off with almond oil."
Broad City (2014)
"Ab, this is Craig."
Broad City (2014)
"One, two, three. "Rift"!"
Broad City (2014)
"I like a girl with a butt."
Broad City (2014)
"All that stuff I said about Abbi, that's me."
Broad City (2014)
"I'm her."
Broad City (2014)
"You impersonated someone to cover a shift at the co-op?"
Broad City (2014)
"There it is, okay."
Broad City (2014)
"Don't try and butter me up, I'm a vegan."
Broad City (2014)
"Nobody belongs on garbage island!"
Broad City (2014)
"- We as a society are very... - Puh-leeze! I know your type."
Broad City (2014)
"Now, get the fuck out."
Broad City (2014)
"My whole arm hurts."
Broad City (2014)
"It's like, yeah, we hit it off."
Broad City (2014)
"No."
Broad City (2014)
"It's not far off though."
Broad City (2014)
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