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Clips from Peep Show - Holiday (S04E04)

"You can't say you're going to bed at nine in the evening."
Peep Show
"You're gonna sit there and talk about something funny"
Peep Show
"you've seen on reality TV, and stop going on and on about the euro."
Peep Show
"We're in it now and there's nothing you can do about it."
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"We are not in the euro, Jeremy!"
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"So you can have your squalid little night."
Peep Show
"I'm gonna go and read Roy Jenkins on Winston Churchill."
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"Ahoy there!"
Peep Show
"Oh, that's a shame."
Peep Show
"I was looking forward to having some fun."
Peep Show
"'I'm not wearing Hitler's boots!"
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"'What the hell's going on?!"
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"'Why are we moving?! Jeremy can't be up!"
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"'Someone's trying to steal the boat!"
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"'Pirates! I'm being Shanghaied! '"
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"- Morning, shipmate. - Jeremy, what the hell is going on?"
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"Ah, this is a new one - water stalking."
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"It's not! It's just friendly!"
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"Ahoy there, shipmates!"
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"Jeremy! Last one to lunch at the Lamb and Flag in Garsington is a loser."
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"'Oh, great, I'm Scotty."
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"'and I'm stuck in the engine room"
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"'with the probably cancer-emitting fuel cells.'"
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"from here right the way down to here."
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"Jez has offered to do the shopping run and no-one else is fit to drive."
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"'4x4! Piece of piss! Probably.'"
Peep Show
"So you're in the credit racket?"
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"Yes, that's my... racket."
Peep Show
"I should pick your brains."
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"That's my new setup in Bangalore, a credit call centre."
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"God, you've got fingers in so many pies. How d'you keep track?"
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"Dad comes up with a brainwave and then he hires a load of little people"
Peep Show
"who never went to university to work out the details."
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"'I'm with the business elite, shitting on the little guy.'"
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"I'm looking for an associate who can help me staff up."
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"Oh! Right. I'll have a think."
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"'Oh, my God, India!"
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"'Could be my way out. Goodbye Sophie,"
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"Pretty big step up for you. You're a kind of a numbers droid."
Peep Show
"Not really. I'm..."
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"'Oh, my God!"
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"'I've entered an interview situation and there's a hand near my cock!"
Peep Show
"This is like that dream I had about Alan Sugar and the badger."
Peep Show
"Yes, but I've developed a portfolio of skills over the last three years,"
Peep Show
"which enabled me to rise to new challenges with ease."
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"'Maybe this is a test. She can't actually fancy me."
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"'Or a trick. Maybe they're Johnson and Sophie wearing masks"
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"'God, look at me drive. I'm Clarkson.'"
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"Are you sure it's OK to put in unleaded?"
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"Oh, trust me, these babies run on anything."
Peep Show
"So after we dump the shopping, do you wanna go for a little stroll?"
Peep Show
"- Just the two of us? - Yeah."
Peep Show
"Cool."
Peep Show
"Do you wanna turn this around and I'll see you in a sec?"
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"'I think I love her. I think I'm falling in love..."
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"'when you get rid of all the Valentine's cards and bullshit.'"
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"'Oh, yeah! Pissed and stoned in a gas guzzler. This is the life."
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"'AIready given a quid to Greenpeace this year, so I'm golden.'"
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"DOG WHINES"
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"'Not the dog. Not the dog!"
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"Let's roll, cowboy."
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"Where's Mummy?"
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"Mummy?"
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"Yeah. I let her out for a piss."
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"- Are you sure she was with us? - She was on the back seat!"
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"She must've run off."
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"She never just runs off!"
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"She is a wild animal. You know, the call of the wild."
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"Jez, it's Mummy. We're not just leaving her!"
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"'Why did I put her in the bag?! I should've thrown her like a discus.'"
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"Mummy..."
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"- Mummy! - Mummy..."
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"Oh, God! I don't know what I'd do if I lost her!"
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"'Well, you're very close to finding out.'"
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"- Mummy! - Mummy!"
Peep Show
"(Groans) My mate Carly again."
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""Oh, I'm so sad, I'm gonna take a load of pills, muh, muh, muh.""
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"Same shit, different day. I'll catch you up."
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"'Wealthy, lovely family. If only she wasn't such a horrible person,"
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"Mark, if anything did happen, how quickly could you up sticks, though?"
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"Anything tying you down?"
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"Cool. So, you and Lucy seem pretty sweet on each other."
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"Oh. Yeah."
Peep Show
"What do you think of her... honestly?"
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"'I think she might have a borderline personality disorder.'"
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"I think she's... Iovely."
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"Oh, that's nice. I'll tell her that."
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"'Maybe instead of marrying Sophie I should just marry Lucy."
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""Hey, it's Sophie. Please leave a message.""
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"'Answerphone. Yes! '"
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"'AIthough probably not, because I know when you're busy"
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"'and that's when I always ring you.'"
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"- Guess what, Jez. - What?"
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"Malcolm's headhunting for co-manager of his Indian call centre."
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"And you know what that means - won't be able to get married."
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"- No? - Of course not!"
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"there'd be visa issues, endless complications."
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"No, I'm afraid to say this could put a great deal of strain on the whole relationship."
Peep Show
"Brilliant. Well done, mate."
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"He's nibbling but he hasn't bitten yet. So I'm just gonna get Gerard"
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"to e-mail through my CV and then wow him with a big pitch."
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"So, you'd just... go?"
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"Oh, Jez, don't look like that!"
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"I'd be the Maharaja, you'd be my white concubine."
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"I could probably live like a king on a tenner a week. I'd do fuck all."
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"I'd probably get a record deal just because I've been to Carnaby Street."
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"And maybe we can get one small servant."
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"'We'll need a servant. These leftovers are from two nights ago,"
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"Fuck! Aah!"
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"There's a... There's a dead beast in our bin, Jeremy!"
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"- All right, keep your voice down. - A dead dog in our bin!"
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"- How has this happened? - There's no point shouting about it."
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"Well, why not?! Jeremy, is this... Mummy?!"
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"Look, earlier, in the 4x4, I had an accident. I mean, the clutch on that thing..."
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"Oh, right! Brilliant! You've killed Mummy!"
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"What the hell is it doing in our bin?!"
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"But... the bin, Jeremy!"
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"The bin's for household waste, not beloved pets, et cetera!"
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"there's a chance I still might get laid here."
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"Oh, right. This is sort of like a disgusting version of The Great Egg Race!"
Peep Show
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