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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - Living While Eddie (S03E03)

"And... action!"
Fresh Off the Boat
"And how does it work on that salad?"
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"Onions, shillions, skillets... It does them all!"
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"Cut."
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"Onions, shallots, sicillians... It does them all!"
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"Okay, cut."
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"Onions, onions, onions..."
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"And cut. Cut, cut, cut. Onions, onions."
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"Louis. What?"
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"Onions, scallions, shallots. It do..."
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""It do.""
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"Onions, scallions, shallots... It does them all!"
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"Onions, shallions... Kyle, you're in the sho..."
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"Onions, shal... Oop!"
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"Oh, I got dressing on my sleeve."
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"Onions, shallots, scallions."
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"Line?"
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"Forget it. Louis, I'm so tired."
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"Good tea."
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"Why are you whispering?"
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"I had a little trouble getting the line."
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"We just have to shoot again tomorrow."
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"Which means an extra day of location fees."
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"You okay? I thought you would be excited about that."
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"and he did it anyway."
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"We have a dishwasher?"
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"Then he has the nerve to look me in the eye and lie about it."
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"Hmm. Eddie has always been..."
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"colorful, but I'm just starting to worry."
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"Are we raising a bad kid?"
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"No way. Eddie's got a good heart."
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"He's probably just excited to try out the machine,"
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"which apparently we have."
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"Don't worry. He'll be fine."
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"That dishwasher"
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"Who knows how much water has been wasted"
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"dripping into those hoses?"
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"It must have cost us a fortune in drips."
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"It's like, "Put on some pants.""
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"Thank you. Now this machine won't make us soft."
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"_"
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"Hello?"
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"What?!"
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"Where's the manager?"
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"Where is he?!"
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"Who?"
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"Uh, that... that wasn't me."
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"Isn't this Razorshank Records?"
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"It is."
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"You need to be clearer on the phone."
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"And you are in big trouble."
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"Razorshank Records..."
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"Mall location."
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"And that's when I found this CD"
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"tucked into his waistband."
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"Eddie, what were you thinking?"
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"I know what he wasn't thinking..."
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"All stolen merchandise comes out of Howie's paycheck."
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"But you know who does think about that?"
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"Howie. Howie thinks about it all the time."
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"I'm Howie, if that wasn't clear."
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"I swear, I didn't steal that CD!"
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"I brought it from home."
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"This place buys used CDs,"
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"and since you took away my allowance,"
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"I was gonna sell my old "Street Fighter" soundtrack"
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"- for some extra skrill. - Oh, really?"
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"If you weren't stealing,"
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"then why was this tucked into your waistband?"
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"Because my pockets were full of Runts candy."
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"Okay. Let's see this candy. I ate it on the way over here."
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"That's what they're for. They're my traveling Runts."
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"Howie, I am so sorry about all of this."
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"He's gonna be in big trouble when he gets home."
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"Oh, he's going to jail."
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"What?"
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"It's corporate policy to prosecute shoplifters"
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"to the fullest extent of the law."
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"Corporate policy?"
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"Your logo is a man slapping a cop!"
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"We see what we want to see."
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"Red leather, yellow leather."
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"La, la, la, la, la, la. Hey. Hey, Dad."
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"and I think I finally got it."
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"Onions, shallots, scallions... It does them..."
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"They want someone else to play the Salad Eater."
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"What? Who?"
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"Emery, we're ready for you."
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"You're the new Salad Eater?"
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"I happened to be walking by"
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"Then the director looked at me through his fingers,"
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"and next thing I knew, I had the part."
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"Not Danny Winterbottom."
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"Who's Danny Winterbottom?"
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"Growing up, his mom would give him salad as a treat."
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"Oh, I see what's going on here."
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"Making me nervous about being on TV, wishing me luck."
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"You were sabotaging me from the start."
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"When I found out what the lights were,"
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"I knew I wanted to be in front of them."
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"Sorry, Dad. It's "infomercial," not "friend-mercial.""
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"We're both sorry. Aren't we, little Tony?"
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"Yeah."
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"Do you really think if I were to steal a CD,"
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"it would be the "Street Fighter" soundtrack?"
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"Why would I shoplift a two-year-old soundtrack"
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"from a movie about a video game?"
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"You'd be amazed at what people try to steal."
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"Last week, my mom made us snickerdoodles"
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"to celebrate the end of Lent."
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"Gone."
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"Boss, the new Spice Girls CD isn't ringing up."
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"The line out front has gone from Baby to Scary."
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"Excuse me. I have to deal with this."
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"Don't go anywhere."
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"I can't believe you stole."
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"But after what happened with the dishwasher, how can I believe you?"
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"And I did lie about it, but I didn't steal the CD."
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"That's the truth."
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"I knew it. I knew you were lying all along,"
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