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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events - The Reptile Room: Part Two (S01E01)

"Well, then I guess I'll have to take my own luggage."
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"Sunny!"
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"- Let her out this instant. - She won't be able to breathe."
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"and yet you persistently seem to forget about this."
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"I'll leave some breathing holes for her."
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"I'm kidding. That's not the suitcase she's in. I don't think."
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"Please don't hurt her."
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"Then get in the car."
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"Really, there's no one to blame but yourselves."
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"I wouldn't have had to kill Monty and we'd all be on our way to Peru,"
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"God, I hate driving stick."
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"Of course, after they discover he's dead, you'll be long gone,"
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"and I'll be taking advantage of Peru's extremely lax guardianship laws."
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"Why won't... There we go."
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"Can he?"
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"And who's going to stop me?"
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"Look out!"
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"Luckily for the Baudelaires..."
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"Blasted furnaces of hell!"
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"What were you thinking,"
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"careening down that driveway like a maniac?"
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"Me? I was driving well below the speed limit."
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"- Mr. Poe. - Violet Baudelaire?"
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"- I'm so grateful you ran into us. - Well, I wouldn't say that."
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"It was clearly the fault of the other driver."
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"I never..."
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"I thought there were three of you. Ah, there's the baby."
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"You're not Dr. Montgomery."
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"My spleen!"
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"I think you've ruptured him."
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"Hello, my name is Stephano."
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"I'm Dr. Montgomery Montgomery's new assistant."
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"I mean, I was. I mean... I don't know how to say it."
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"- Uncle Monty's dead. - That's how to say it."
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"He's dead? But that... That's terrible. How did it happen?"
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"He was bitten by a snake."
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"I was on my way now to get the coroner."
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"The children were too hysterical to be left here alone."
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"He wasn't taking us to a coroner. He was taking us to Peru."
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"No, the children must be confused. Dr. Montgomery was taking them to Peru."
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"Last night he called me to insist on me rearranging"
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"Can't you see, Mr. Poe? That's Count Olaf."
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"He's in disguise and he's trying to take us away."
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"Who am I? What am I doing?"
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"Don't you miss the vivid imagination of childhood?"
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"- I never had one. - An imagination or a childhood?"
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"Children, you must be very distraught about losing your uncle."
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"Count Olaf is a terrible man who tried to steal their fortune."
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"And do I look anything like this Count Olaf?"
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"No, you don't."
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"Count Olaf has one long eyebrow and he has a very short beard."
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"You have a very long beard,"
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"and I hope you don't mind me saying so, no eyebrows at all."
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"- He shaved his eyebrow. - And he let his beard grow."
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"Can't you see? Anyone could see that."
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"Sunny's right."
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"Count Olaf has a tattoo on his left ankle. It looks like an eye."
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"sighs"
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"I hate to trouble you, sir,"
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"but just to put the children's minds at ease,"
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"It's no problem."
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"As long as the vehicle is operational, then we really must be going."
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"- No. - No."
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"- No? - No."
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"None of us are going anywhere until the police have been called."
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"Oh, come on, man. It's just a fender bender."
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"It's quite urgent."
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"First name, Montgomery. Last name, Montgomery."
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"No, this isn't a prank call. Hello? Hello?"
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"Get over here now!"
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"I don't understand how he got rid of his tattoo."
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"Good news, I managed to get through to the local sheriff's department."
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"It seems there's an escaped cow"
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"from a local dairy farm giving them the runaround,"
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"but they assured me they'll send someone as soon as they're able."
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"They must have made quick work of that cow."
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"May I help you, ma'am?"
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"Sir. Uh."
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"I'm Nurse Lucafont."
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"Nurse Lucafont."
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"From the local..."
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"I hear there's been a terrible accident involving a snake."
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"That was fast. I only just now made the call."
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"I believe, uh..."
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"speed is of the essence in an emergency, sir."
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"Could I get a cup of coffee?"
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"Don't you want to examine the body?"
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"Right, the body. Lead the way."
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"It's right over here in the Reptile Room."
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"Excuse me, but why are you wearing that mask over your face?"
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"I heard there were reptiles. They... they might be contagious."
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"Reptiles aren't contagious. Are you sure you're a qualified nurse?"
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"Maybe the children should wait outside."
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"Being in a room with a dead body could be very traumatic."
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"We've already been in a room with a dead body thanks to you."
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"I must say, you show genuine compassion for these children."
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"I appreciate it."
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"Perhaps I will wait out here with the children"
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"while you and Nurse Lucafont go in and examine the body."
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"The body?"
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"I wouldn't want Nurse Lucafont to be alone."
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"Oh, I'm sure a nurse has seen plenty of dead bodies."
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"Well, that won't work. Who will perform the examination?"
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"Why don't Klaus, Sunny and I wait with Mr. Poe,"
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"while Stephano goes with Nurse Lucafont to examine the body?"
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"No, child, please."
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"If I were standing closer to you... I would slap you in the throat."
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"Fine. Right this way, nurse."
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"But remember, I will be just on the other side of this door."
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"Oh, I'm sorry, children."
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"Dr. Montgomery did seem like an appropriate guardian for you."
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"He was more than that. He was much, much more than appropriate."
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"Please don't let him be our new guardian."
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"Oh, don't be silly, children."
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"It is quite shocking that Dr. Montgomery has died,"
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"but I'm not going to simply just hand you and your fortune over to his assistant."
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"Nurse Lucafont was startled by a lizard."
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"- It's a reptile room. - I didn't know that meant literally."
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"Anyway, you've come just in time. The nurse has just finished her autopsy."
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"- Did you determine the cause of death? - Snakebite."
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