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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Episode #4.13 (S04E04)

Oh, yeah? Tell that to William Atherton...

"Oh, yeah? Tell that to William Atherton..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

the second-best "Die Hard" villain.

"the second-best "Die Hard" villain."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And also, yes, we are different people,

"And also, yes, we are different people,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but I love that about us.

"but I love that about us."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and that he cares so much about his dumb sneakers

"and that he cares so much about his dumb sneakers"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and he doesn't get stressed out about calendars.

"and he doesn't get stressed out about calendars."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Or flossing my teeth. - No, the non-flossing is crazy.

"- Or flossing my teeth. - No, the non-flossing is crazy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm just so confused.

"I'm just so confused."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No. Amy is dying.

"No. Amy is dying."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

She has one month to live.

"She has one month to live."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Marrying her would be a waste of time.

"Marrying her would be a waste of time."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake and I were only pretending to fight

"Jake and I were only pretending to fight"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

While we were on the stakeout and you were in the bathroom,

"While we were on the stakeout and you were in the bathroom,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

we said you were the most boring man in America,

"we said you were the most boring man in America,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We didn't want you to get mad at us and fail the precinct.

"We didn't want you to get mad at us and fail the precinct."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Wow. You guys are the worst.

"Wow. You guys are the worst."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, you just proposed in front of your girlfriend,

"Well, you just proposed in front of your girlfriend,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Amy, I loved you.

"Amy, I loved you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I talked to NYPD facilities

"I talked to NYPD facilities"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

out to us this afternoon.

"out to us this afternoon."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I received their standard response.

"I received their standard response."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You couldn't just suck it up and let a few dozen crazed rats

"You couldn't just suck it up and let a few dozen crazed rats"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

eat you until their hearts exploded?

"eat you until their hearts exploded?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Don't blame Boyle.

"Don't blame Boyle."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

because you put the traps in the evidence room.

"because you put the traps in the evidence room."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Nobody can say no to her.

"Nobody can say no to her."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hi. I got hit by a bus.

"Hi. I got hit by a bus."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Wow. This place looks amazing.

"Wow. This place looks amazing."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Thank you, Captain.

"Thank you, Captain."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You have permission to share my story.

"You have permission to share my story."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So how'd it go with Sergeant Wells?

"So how'd it go with Sergeant Wells?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

She said no, and then his girlfriend dumped him.

"She said no, and then his girlfriend dumped him."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Terry's getting nervous. - It's worse than it sounds.

"- Terry's getting nervous. - It's worse than it sounds."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

There was a jazz brunch involved.

"There was a jazz brunch involved."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Oh. - Oh, my God.

"- Oh. - Oh, my God."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look, all we can do is hope that Sergeant Wells handles this

"Look, all we can do is hope that Sergeant Wells handles this"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

like a professional and respects the uniform that we all wear.

"like a professional and respects the uniform that we all wear."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, to be the most anything in America is pretty good.

"Well, to be the most anything in America is pretty good."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I mean, it's a big country.

"I mean, it's a big country."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Teddy, we are so sorry. - No, you don't have to be.

"- Teddy, we are so sorry. - No, you don't have to be."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sergeant Wells, I understand

"Sergeant Wells, I understand"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

that you're upset for personal reasons,

"that you're upset for personal reasons,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but we're hoping that you'll give us a fair evaluation.

"but we're hoping that you'll give us a fair evaluation."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh. That is so sweet.

"Oh. That is so sweet."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Thank you for being such a good guy, Teddy.

"Thank you for being such a good guy, Teddy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Amy Santiago, will you...

"Amy Santiago, will you..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- No! Get up! - Come on!

"- No! Get up! - Come on!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

will be very impressed.

"will be very impressed."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Amy has not dated her.

"Amy has not dated her."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hello, Nine-Nine.

"Hello, Nine-Nine."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm Lieutenant Hopkins.

"I'm Lieutenant Hopkins."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hello, Terry Jeffords.

"Hello, Terry Jeffords."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Come here and give an old friend a hug.

"Come here and give an old friend a hug."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey. So good to see you.

"Hey. So good to see you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm shutting the Nine-Nine down,

"I'm shutting the Nine-Nine down,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and there is nothing you can do about it.

"and there is nothing you can do about it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh!

"Oh!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

She seems nice.

"She seems nice."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'll field some questions now. Anyone?

"I'll field some questions now. Anyone?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- And I met God. - Tight.

"- And I met God. - Tight."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The auditor will start by joining Peralta and Santiago

"The auditor will start by joining Peralta and Santiago"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

of the type of serious crime that still exists

"of the type of serious crime that still exists"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, everyone.

"Hey, everyone."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah. What's that? The crime phone is ringing?

"Yeah. What's that? The crime phone is ringing?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I mean, even if we don't work together,

"I mean, even if we don't work together,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I want all my brothers in the NYPD to do perfectly.

"I want all my brothers in the NYPD to do perfectly."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You know what? We're just looking to eliminate waste.

"You know what? We're just looking to eliminate waste."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

that C.J. bought...

"that C.J. bought..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Our friendship is over.

"Our friendship is over."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He's like a goldfish.

"He's like a goldfish."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

stronger even.

"stronger even."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, yeah, this is too crowded.

"Oh, yeah, this is too crowded."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's lucky for us how?

"That's lucky for us how?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I figured out how to turn it on,

"I figured out how to turn it on,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Perhaps it's a paper jam.

"Perhaps it's a paper jam."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, perhaps Boyle and Diaz

"Well, perhaps Boyle and Diaz"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

have made more progress with the rats.

"have made more progress with the rats."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Copy that. We all have calendars.

"Copy that. We all have calendars."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So that'll work out great, 'cause we all have one.

"So that'll work out great, 'cause we all have one."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's okay. I'm sure you'll have me down in no time.

"That's okay. I'm sure you'll have me down in no time."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sir, I really think...

"Sir, I really think..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

When I get back, remind me to tell you

"When I get back, remind me to tell you"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Wow. Perfect timing, successful stakeout.

"Wow. Perfect timing, successful stakeout."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look, Teddy's over there.

"Look, Teddy's over there."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

delete the recording, and we're golden.

"delete the recording, and we're golden."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Can I really quickly just say the real reason we were late

"Can I really quickly just say the real reason we were late"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- What are you doing? - Flip-a-ing de table.

"- What are you doing? - Flip-a-ing de table."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"Almost" being the key word,

""Almost" being the key word,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Detective Diaz, what was in that box?

"Detective Diaz, what was in that box?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Boyle, be careful of the ceiling.

"Boyle, be careful of the ceiling."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Run!

"Run!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

to save the precinct, and that's all.

"to save the precinct, and that's all."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No!

"No!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, Teddy.

"Hey, Teddy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Uh-oh.

"Uh-oh."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I feel compelled to tell you that San Diego's terrible.

"I feel compelled to tell you that San Diego's terrible."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I love that Jake's a little messy

"I love that Jake's a little messy"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Your fight was like something out of a movie.

"Your fight was like something out of a movie."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I have to tell you the truth.

"I have to tell you the truth."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

so that we could destroy your phone.

"so that we could destroy your phone."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The rats only got into the cocaine

"The rats only got into the cocaine"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm recusing myself.

"I'm recusing myself."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm sure that your new auditor, Lieutenant Hopkins,

"I'm sure that your new auditor, Lieutenant Hopkins,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Gina's doctor said it was okay

"Gina's doctor said it was okay"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

a space that is approximately 50 feet by 40 feet.

"a space that is approximately 50 feet by 40 feet."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

that you recently purchased a $21,000 copy machine?

"that you recently purchased a $21,000 copy machine?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Can I offer you a beverage? - Ooh.

"- Can I offer you a beverage? - Ooh."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It took our breakup for me to realize that.

"It took our breakup for me to realize that."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And look! They're back in the walls.

"And look! They're back in the walls."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

They think I'm a cat.

"They think I'm a cat."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, guys, it's Teddy from jazz brunch.

"Hey, guys, it's Teddy from jazz brunch."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's okay. I get it.

"It's okay. I get it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Aha. Wow. It's like brunch is crazy enough on its own,

"Aha. Wow. It's like brunch is crazy enough on its own,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's okay. Something crazy always happens at jazz brunch.

"It's okay. Something crazy always happens at jazz brunch."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Boyle!

"Boyle!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

it's like, no matter where we are, it's San Diego.

"it's like, no matter where we are, it's San Diego."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I kills for the pils.

"I kills for the pils."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm gonna hit the little boys' room.

"I'm gonna hit the little boys' room."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake's chronic tardiness, his slobbiness,

"Jake's chronic tardiness, his slobbiness,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

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