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Clips from NewsRadio - Kids (S03E03)

""I did it." Ah-ha."
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"Well..."
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"It's the least we could do."
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"Just trying to help out. So the guy"
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"Come on, Lisa has. And frankly, she's the one"
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"Lovely, Bill."
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"Don't mention it."
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"[CLEARS THROAT]"
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"It's my pleasure."
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"I've educated him on proper behavior."
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"We don't need your thought control."
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"to take to a lady. [SIGHS]"
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"Bye-bye."
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"You had me scared there."
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"See, it's... See, it's 212, and then, uh,"
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"And that would be..."
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"[ELEVATOR DINGS]"
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"And just remember: Everything she tells you is wrong."
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"555-- Wait a minute!"
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"Socialist porn-swapping club or something?"
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"that drive men to magazines. I knew it."
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"Done. Lisa?"
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"It was me."
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"Yes! Why?"
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"writing the dirty letters to the editor"
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"that you promised to help me with, so--"
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"[CLEARS THROAT]"
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"Uh, did those kids leave yet?"
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"About an hour ago."
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"I know. It's icky, isn't it?"
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"Yeah."
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"Bye, spaz."
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"So where would I put these? Just-- Do they go like...?"
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"type it into the computer first."
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"Okay, well, all right. Never mind."
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"Uh, no, this is personal. It's a-- It's a personal essay."
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"About what? Golf."
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"Well, why not?"
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"DAVE: Yeah, I'm fine. BETH: Can you get up?"
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"Really? Dave."
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"Yeah. Oh, yeah. What happened?"
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"Huh. I wonder where that came from."
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"Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine."
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"Okay, good."
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"[LAUGHING QUIETLY]"
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"What's so funny?"
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"I'm sorry."
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"What? What?"
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"I'm the spaz of the office, and this time it's you."
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"Okay. Great."
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"Sorry you fell. Uh-huh."
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"Sorry. [CACKLES]"
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"Would you like a commemorative souvenir"
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"of this joyous occasion?"
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"All right, all right. All right, here you go."
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"BILL: Morning, Skipper."
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"Oh, uh-- Good morning, Bill."
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"Uh...misplace something?"
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"Nope. Just looking for some pretzels."
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"Really? I thought maybe you were looking for some..."
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"Is that the Canadian phrase for porno mag?"
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"Well, thanks for the offer, chief."
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"But I buy my adult magazines at a newsstand"
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"thirty blocks from my house, while wearing a fake mustache."
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"She'd have grounds for a lawsuit."
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"in the office place. Work."
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"Staff meeting. Huh?"
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"You never tell me anything."
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"...we were planning a surprise birthday party for you."
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"Dave, you guys have been planning that"
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"for like three years now, and I'm starting to think"
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"Uh, sorry to keep everyone."
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"JIMMY: At any rate, I have become involved"
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"that I think we can all get behind."
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"Glad to, Jim. How much?"
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"It's not money I'm looking for, Bill. It's time."
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"Glad to, Jim. How much? Shut up, Bill."
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"Glad to, Jim. I have recently become a--"
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"who I think could just be the broadcasters of the future."
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"They're not time travelers, Matthew."
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"So, what do you say?"
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"MATTHEW: I love it. Yeah."
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"How about next week?"
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"Yeah, well, that's what I thought"
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"You're stupid. [GIGGLES]"
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"That one's mine. [LAUGHS]"
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"I think this is a wonderful gesture, you know,"
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"Oh, well, you know me, Dave."
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"I'm not much for giving notice or filling out forms,"
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"or any sort of bureaucratic, uh..."
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"What's the word?"
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"How things are done in a... In a well-run newsroom."
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"Are you paying attention, Dave?"
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"Folderol. Hmm? What?"
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"F-folderol? What are you talking about?"
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"Hey, Joe. What's up, Mr. James?"
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"What's going on?"
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"Oh, yeah? No, here it is. Duct tape."
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"JIMMY: Oh? Duct tape was invented"
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"The end."
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"See you, Joe. Alrighty."
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"Well, Dave, are you-- Are you sure you're okay"
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"Do I? Yeah, well, that's probably"
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"It's-- Oh, it's not mine. Don't worry."
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"Nobody is gonna give you a spanking,"
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"unless it's self-administered."
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"I don't care whose it is. I just don't want to get sued."
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"So leave your dirty magazines at home."
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"Yeah, right. I didn't--"
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"I'll check back with you after lunch."
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"Well, but--"
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"Y-you're leaving us alone with these kids here?"
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"the educational imperatives for the 21st century."
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"Uh-huh."
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"You have no idea. [CHUCKLES]"
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"Yeah, I'll be right with you. Well, great."
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"In the immortal words of Van Halen,"
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"before that dumb ass Sammy Hagar joined the group"
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"and ruined it, "I'm hot for teacher." Huh."
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"The reporters are finished writing their stories,"
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