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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S03E03)

"Uh, couple things. One, Ray, thanks for perpetuating the stereotype..."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, yeah. For your information, almost all male cheerleaders are..."
Archer (2009)
"Finely-tuned hetero-athletes. Yeah, hang on, I'm getting a call. Brriing!"
Archer (2009)
"Wait, the phone. Lacrosse?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, it's Algonquin for "blood sport"?"
Archer (2009)
"It's not Algonquin for anything. Noah..."
Archer (2009)
"My sat phone. Yeah. See, Noah? Her... Wait, your what?"
Archer (2009)
"My sat phone. The pirates took it."
Archer (2009)
"And since I haven't called in, ISIS should be calling me anytime now."
Archer (2009)
"Jeezow, Lana, answer your stupid phone."
Archer (2009)
"Hello? Give me Sterling Archer mother."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God, be more Chinese-y."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God, be more "I hate you.""
Archer (2009)
"That's why your phone is blinking."
Archer (2009)
"Oh. Hello?"
Archer (2009)
"This is Malory Archer."
Archer (2009)
"This is Malory Archer."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, then you listen to me."
Archer (2009)
"No, you just listen to me, buster. Bucky."
Archer (2009)
"If you touch one hair on my son's head, I'll have your guts for garters."
Archer (2009)
"Aha, you like wear garter?"
Archer (2009)
"Heh-heh-heh-heh. It's an idiom, you heathen."
Archer (2009)
"Malory will call, she'll haggle over the ransom for you, me and Riley."
Archer (2009)
"What about me? Yeah, and me?"
Archer (2009)
"We'll come back for you later."
Archer (2009)
"No, shut up. We gotta get that phone, or something. I don't know."
Archer (2009)
"But I don't want Mother talking to Bucky."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, for... Sterling, get your things."
Archer (2009)
"We're leaving. Before this quack's office burns to the ground."
Archer (2009)
"Sterling, get your things."
Archer (2009)
"We're leaving. Before this cruddy school burns to the ground."
Archer (2009)
"Sterling, get your things."
Archer (2009)
"He's gay."
Archer (2009)
"Well, try."
Archer (2009)
"I can't remember."
Archer (2009)
"There's a reason they call it "black-out drunk.""
Archer (2009)
"If I don't remember that password, I can't unembezzle that money..."
Archer (2009)
"...and then I'm screwed, because I don't have..."
Archer (2009)
"Ten million dollars?"
Archer (2009)
"That's outrageous. I won't pay it."
Archer (2009)
"I don't even want the gay back. So you just better sharpen your pencil."
Archer (2009)
"I don't have pencil. It's an idiom!"
Archer (2009)
"Aw, but I love it when Malory bails you out of one of your idiot jams."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, really? Then I get to watch her rub it in your face."
Archer (2009)
"- He's been here voluntarily! Partying his ass off as king of the pirates!"
Archer (2009)
"Right? Language center of the brain..."
Archer (2009)
"Thank you. No problem."
Archer (2009)
"Actually, not making much progress."
Archer (2009)
"You're kidding."
Archer (2009)
"No."
Archer (2009)
"Three million, and not a penny more."
Archer (2009)
"Cyril. Wha...? Hey, Ms. Archer."
Archer (2009)
"Three million in cash? That, uh, should not be a problem."
Archer (2009)
"I know it shouldn't be, and it better not be."
Archer (2009)
"Why would it be? It's not. I just need to move a little money around."
Archer (2009)
"So move it. Today please."
Archer (2009)
"Keep looking, maybe I wrote it down. Um..."
Archer (2009)
""ArcherSucks." No."
Archer (2009)
"- "KillArcherDie." No. - Um..."
Archer (2009)
"Just trying all my usual passwords."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, way to not give them the power."
Archer (2009)
"Thank you."
Archer (2009)
"Duh."
Archer (2009)
"- Lana, no. - Oh..."
Archer (2009)
"Come on, you're gonna kill him. Yup, that's the plan."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, hey, knock it off."
Archer (2009)
"Look, Lana, don't get me wrong, I like your spunk."
Archer (2009)
"Shut up. But I promised his mother that I would bring him home safely."
Archer (2009)
"And I just assume that includes his spleen. I think that ship might have sailed."
Archer (2009)
"No, not a ship. That was an idiom."
Archer (2009)
"A helicopter. There's an old Huey down by the dock..."
Archer (2009)
"...and it just so happens, Rip Riley here can fly it."
Archer (2009)
"No shit? Yeah."
Archer (2009)
"Rip Riley here can fly anything. You know, as long as it's got fuel."
Archer (2009)
"Well, Rip, why don't we just look around for some fuel in this cell..."
Archer (2009)
"I doubt they'd keep it in here. ...in which we're still locked?"
Archer (2009)
""ArcherBurnFace." No."
Archer (2009)
""Archerbortion." Ugh. No."
Archer (2009)
"Are you gonna type random words in there the rest of your life?"
Archer (2009)
"...unless you have a better idea. State-dependent memory."
Archer (2009)
"So your plan is for us to get as black-out, knee-walking..."
Archer (2009)
"...shit-faced drunk as we were last night in the hopes that we remember the password?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, don't hog it all."
Archer (2009)
"Ah. Seriously, I bet that would've killed a lesser man."
Archer (2009)
"Ha. There's a lesser man than you?"
Archer (2009)
"Uh, yeah, his name's Houdini. Whom I wish you were."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, because then I could just puke up a key."
Archer (2009)
"Because you'd be dead. Houdini's dead?"
Archer (2009)
"You know what? Yes. Here's what we do."
Archer (2009)
"We lure Bucky down here and take him hostage."
Archer (2009)
"And then? Then we'll see. We'll keep it loose."
Archer (2009)
"Sterling Archer."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, telephone. It's your mother. My...?"
Archer (2009)
"Wait, please tell me you didn't tell her I was temporarily the pirate king."
Archer (2009)
"Sterling, are you all right?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, and Riley said he no longer finds you attractive because you're too old."
Archer (2009)
"He what? What? You little..."
Archer (2009)
"Son of a bitch!"
Archer (2009)
"Was that a gunshot?"
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah, they got old Ray this time. - Unh! Unh! Unh!"
Archer (2009)
"Aah! Ow!"
Archer (2009)
"- Right in the same ear! - Ha! Good. Serves you right."
Archer (2009)
"Ha-ha-ha-ha! Malory, I never said that!"
Archer (2009)
"You're no spring chicken yourself."
Archer (2009)
"- Aah! - Unh..."
Archer (2009)
"Is Lana hit? Someone talk to me!"
Archer (2009)
"Mother, I'm a little busy right now."
Archer (2009)
"Noah! What?"
Archer (2009)
"You mean, spoon him as in like...? Oh, uh, right."
Archer (2009)
"For shit's sake, Mother! How short is the list of guys you haven't screwed?"
Archer (2009)
"For once, you're on your own."
Archer (2009)
"For once? Oh, my God, Columbia Hou...?"
Archer (2009)
"All I wanted was to mourn the murder of my crazy-hot Russian fiancée..."
Archer (2009)
"...by becoming a pirate king!"
Archer (2009)
"But I guess that was too much to ask!"
Archer (2009)
"So Mother can keep her stupid ransom, because I don't need her!"
Archer (2009)
"What I do need is some fricking crab shampoo!"
Archer (2009)
"Maybe some psychic scarring, yes, but physically I'm..."
Archer (2009)
"- I'm fine. Check on Ray. - Yeah, he is not looking good."
Archer (2009)
"Although, neither is Riley. Ah, ah, ah, ah."
Archer (2009)
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