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Clips from The Mick - The New Girl (S01E01)

"Uh... nothing."
The Mick
"Not a thing. I think you look very handsome."
The Mick
"Uh, you want to go play in the other room?"
The Mick
"So you can keep talking about me? Okay."
The Mick
"So I can keep talking about you."
The Mick
"That is a smart kid."
The Mick
"I do not understand why he can't get into a school."
The Mick
"Frederico Diaz, 3.0,"
The Mick
"crapped the bed on the SATs, gets into Brown."
The Mick
"Meanwhile, Dustin Wakefield... straight A's,"
The Mick
"school treasurer... gets into Wesleyan."
The Mick
"What are you talking about? It's never"
The Mick
"been harder to be a white male than it is right now."
The Mick
"I'm gonna have to work twice as hard to achieve half as much."
The Mick
"Preach, brother."
The Mick
"- I haven't had a win in 37 years. - Oh, come on."
The Mick
"Try being a woman."
The Mick
"At least I understand the plight of diverse people."
The Mick
"What?! You two are about as diverse"
The Mick
"as a Jimmy Buffet concert."
The Mick
"I would call you racist,"
The Mick
"but you only hang out with white people."
The Mick
"- You don't know who I hang out with. - Okay."
The Mick
"Alba."
The Mick
"Alba. Super not white."
The Mick
"Oh, don't drag me into this."
The Mick
"Alba is not your friend."
The Mick
"You do not yell at your friend"
The Mick
"for putting dressing on your salad."
The Mick
"You know nothing about her."
The Mick
"I know plenty about her."
The Mick
"What's her last name?"
The Mick
"- Gonzalez? - Perez."
The Mick
"- Maldanado. - That's a tough start, guys."
The Mick
"You have lived with Alba"
The Mick
"your entire lives, and you don't know her full name?"
The Mick
"Alba is a rich"
The Mick
"fountain of culture."
The Mick
"- You know what, Alba? - Hmm?"
The Mick
"Tomorrow, me and you... we're going out. On me."
The Mick
"And I want to know every single thing about you,"
The Mick
"because you are my new friend."
The Mick
"That sounds good. Okay."
The Mick
"Look, there's only two schools that are"
The Mick
"accepting students right now..."
The Mick
"the all-girls school across the street"
The Mick
"and the public school, but it's, like, 40 minutes away."
The Mick
"Well, enjoy the drive."
The Mick
"I know the first day at a new school can be tough,"
The Mick
"but you just remember to be yourself,"
The Mick
"and you'll be just fine."
The Mick
"I'm a transformer!"
The Mick
"Yeah. Sure."
The Mick
"Transformer. Close enough."
The Mick
"So, am I a girl now?"
The Mick
"No, only when you're at school."
The Mick
"Or whenever else you want to be."
The Mick
"Cool. Do I have a vagina?"
The Mick
"No, you don't. Any other questions?"
The Mick
"What is a vagina?"
The Mick
"Oh, that's like, right up the... in between..."
The Mick
"You got..."
The Mick
"Can I get back to you on that one?"
The Mick
"- Okay. - Thanks, buddy."
The Mick
"You look really good in that dress, by the way."
The Mick
"Thanks. It's breezy on my vagina."
The Mick
"Yeah. Yeah, maybe don't mention that, though."
The Mick
"Now, listen, there are three things"
The Mick
"do whatever the girls do."
The Mick
"Number two... and this one's critical... you..."
The Mick
"What? Are we here already? My God, that's close. Nice."
The Mick
"All right."
The Mick
"Sorry we're late. You know how fussy"
The Mick
"- little girls are getting ready. - Well, we are"
The Mick
"thrilled to have our very first transgender student."
The Mick
"Oh, say thank you, Ben."
The Mick
"- I thought you said my name was "Beth." - Yes."
The Mick
"That's what I said. He still gets confused sometimes."
The Mick
"Yeah, yeah, that's what I mean."
The Mick
"Hey, Ben... Th... why don't you run outside"
The Mick
"to the playground while we finish up,"
The Mick
"- okay? - Okay."
The Mick
"Should I do the thing now?"
The Mick
"Yeah."
The Mick
"Oh!"
The Mick
"Want to play super smash ball?"
The Mick
"It's like dodge ball, except we're all ninjas."
The Mick
"Okay."
The Mick
"So, Alba, tell us more about Guatemala."
The Mick
"Oh. Uh, okay."
The Mick
"Well, the national flower"
The Mick
"- and the national bird... - Oh, wait. Hold on."
The Mick
"I want to write this down so I can throw it in Mickey's face."
The Mick
"Oh, okay."
The Mick
"Uh, the national bird is the quetzal."
The Mick
"And, uh, oh, the population is 12.7 million."
The Mick
"Wow."
The Mick
"No, it's beef."
The Mick
"Alba, you know I don't eat red meat."
The Mick
"Why would you order this?"
The Mick
"That is strange."
The Mick
"It must be regional."
The Mick
"You know, where I'm from, it's vegetarian."
The Mick
"No, pepian is always beef."
The Mick
"No, it's not. No. Take it away. No. Get it out of here."
The Mick
"No. That's not good. Not where I come from. No."
The Mick
"Alba? Why is your phone on the Guatemala Wikipedia page?"
The Mick
"Is it?"
The Mick
"Alba. What's going on?"
The Mick
"Well, okay, I'm from Guatemala,"
The Mick
"but my culture is American."
The Mick
"What? I came here"
The Mick
"as a little girl, so my culture"
The Mick
"- is your culture. - Are you kidding me?"
The Mick
"I just blew eight years of no red meat for nothing?"
The Mick
"Why didn't you just tell us?"
The Mick
"I don't know. Uh,"
The Mick
"when I saw how much you guys wanted"
The Mick
"to hang out with me, I got excited."
The Mick
"Now I feel terrible. The whole point of this"
The Mick
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