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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Lawn Signs (S02E02)

"- Ugh! My campaign signs have gone missing."
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"- Oh, like the wind."
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"- Stolen? Ew!"
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"Is that what you think happened?"
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"it's that..."
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"Now the playing field is more fair."
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"Yeah, I was worried Jocelyn didn't have enough signs up."
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"Now she has none."
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"- And I don't wanna tell you how I respond"
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"to illegal political activity."
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"Maybe."
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"Can you put some of them towards the electricity bill?"
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"You were my mistake, which I take full credit for."
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"the changes I was making."
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"But that's not gonna help me when I am down to a Costco card"
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"and a zoo membership."
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"- No, you've done enough already."
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"They're expanding into North America"
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"- Okay, so they're buying the name from you?"
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"Apparently, I have been using the name without their permission."
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"- Okay, so this company is giving you $10,000 as a gesture..."
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"- Something seems really sketchy about this"
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"They're coming in this week,"
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"I feel like I need to be at that meeting."
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"- At least let me talk to a few people before you decide."
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"(Brush bristles swish)"
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"and it needs to breathe a bit, so..."
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"- Uh-huh. And did anyone ever ask you to stop using the name?"
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"- This is terrible news."
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"- Well... anytime, son."
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"How can one sleep knowing our streets are laden with thieves?"
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"They didn't take anything,"
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"but they left a dead bird inside."
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"These sign bandits have clearly created a culture of fear."
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"- Hey."
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"- I wasn't fired."
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"I'm... actually working so that I can stay employed."
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"Poor thing is a hot mess."
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"- Okay, well this is a very different situation from that"
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"- No."
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"you should breathe out while you answer"
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"This is a negotiation."
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"- I'm just trying to prepare you, okay?"
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"- (Sighs heavily)"
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"but I'm glad that my fashion pony is working."
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"- David Rose."
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"- Thanks. I will."
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"- This shouldn't take long. The check."
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"- Well, that may be,"
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"- I just mentioned those."
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"- I don't think anyone can hear us, John."
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"- You call this a clean campaign?"
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"- Moira, Sunrise Bay was a soap opera."
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"- So if you'll just sign here, I think we're good."
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"that your company pulled in $100 million last year."
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"This is the number that we are after."
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"we have another meeting to get to."
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"- We're in our store."
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"- We await your reply."
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"- The signs."
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"- I am upset."
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"You are the new councilor for the town of Schitt's Creek."
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"- Oh, thank God!"
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"Um, you don't mean one of those big lottery cheques, right?"
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"- Okay"
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"- Okay. Um... I guess we should get back to work."
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"- Oh, okay."
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"- But I appreciate all you've done,"
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"and I want you to have this, you and Alexis."
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"- Well, Alexis didn't do that much."
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"And do something interesting. You always do."
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"- I'm so excited to see the show."
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"- We'll, that's the spirit. Positive thinking."
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"♪ For the first time in history (Ahhhh) ♪"
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"♪ it's gonna be raining men ♪ - Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da bop!"
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"but um... shouldn't we be s--"
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"Shouldn't we be s-s-s..."
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"putting this in a bank?"
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"- Well, that's no fun."
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"- No... but probably best?"
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"(Bird chirps, door opens, bell jingles)"
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"- John! - Oh, I was starting to think--"
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"- I've been hijacked."
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"- What? - My campaign has been hijacked."
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"Oh, I need some tea. Twyla?"
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"- What's going on?"
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"- Tea? - No thank you."
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"- What? - You had election signs?"
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"- Yes! All of them! Gone! - Wow."
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"Maybe people were mowing their lawns."
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"- Well, it's probably just kids."
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"- What if there's a more sinister explanation?"
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"- I was wondering if there's someone who's thinking,"
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""Oh, this woman may not have many signs,"
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"I must stop her!""
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"- So you think the signs were stolen?"
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"- Well, isn't that what you were implying?"
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"- Who would do that? - Well, I don't know. It's dirty pool."
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"You can't sabotage someone's campaign"
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"and take their signs."
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"- Please, please, everyone calm down!"
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"Well, I suppose if there's a silver lining in all this,"
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"that I might be affecting this town's"
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"long-established voting patterns."
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"♪ ♪"
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"(Tapping)"
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"JOHNNY: Oh good. Good."
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"- Ah. You and me both, pal,"
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"but, luckily, I'm a step ahead of ya."
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"- Okay, Enough with the signs, Roland."
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"It was overkill a week ago."
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"- Well, I don't know about you, Johnny,"
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"but I would like my little lady to win this campaign."
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"- Oh! Well, funny you should mention,"
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"because my little lady had all of her lawn signs disappear."
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"- Oh. Moira had lawn signs?"
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"- She had a few."
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"- Wait. Are you saying that I had something--"
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"- I'm not pointing any fingers, - Uh-huh."
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"- But if I find out you had anything to do with this,"
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