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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Artificial Fruit (S10E10)

"Larry: That is not a doodle. That is a work of art, okay?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"-You know what? -This is gonna get so much money."
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"-Honest to God-- -I'll give you two pence."
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"You're not holding it the right way."
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"-You hold it like this. Okay? -Oh, oh!"
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"That's so much better. Let's get it framed!"
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"Could be a roller coaster. It could be a shoe."
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"It could be a large intestine. You gotta think a little bit."
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"Oh, I'm think-- You know what it is? It's what you find in a large intestine."
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"-It's a piece of shit. It is! -Okay, yeah?"
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"It is, honestly, that's what I think of it, okay?"
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"Because we can't sell it. We can't do anything with it."
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"I gotta hang this up."
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"-See this? -Larry: Oh, oh."
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"-You're throwing it in there? -Whoops!"
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"-Oh, now it's a garbage can. -Yeah, and that's garbage."
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"-So thank you. -Oh, yeah, thank you."
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"Larry: Christine."
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"-Yes. -Hey. Larry David."
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"-Hey, Larry. How are you? -Hi."
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"-I'm good. -Good. I'm kind of surprised to see you here."
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"you're known for other things."
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"Not your activism, or your advocacy for women."
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"No, I've spent a good deal of my life advocating for women."
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"-Well, I didn't know that. -And, and, and pursuing them."
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"-Right. Purs-- Right. Okay. Yeah. -Yes."
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"That's advocacy in a way, in that I'm pursuing them, I want them."
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"-I'm advocating for them by pursuing them. -Right. Okay."
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"That's not exactly what I meant."
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"But, you know, it's a cause that I really believe in,"
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"and I'm really passionate about, so I'm just..."
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"-happy to hear that you are, too. -Oh, yes. Of course."
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"-Did you-- I didn't-- -Uh, yes, I did."
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"-I didn't, I didn't-- Oh. -No, it's not on the wall."
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"It's not on the wall. I noticed your doodle is on the wall."
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"-Yes. Yes. -Yeah."
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"-Do you like it? -I like it. I think it's very well done."
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"-How long did it take you to do that? -I mean, maybe,"
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"I don't know, 20 minutes, half, half an hour."
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"Yeah, but that's not a doodle. That is not a doodle."
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"-It's a doodle. They're all doodles. -No, it's not a doodle."
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"That's a p-- Yeah, this is like the Louvre, this place."
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"-I mean, come on. I, I-- You know what? -Christine: Yes."
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"-What was yours like? -It was open to interpretation."
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"-Oh, abstract. -That's the beauty of a doodle."
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"You don't know what it is."
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"Okay. Did you put any effort into it?"
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"I put the same amount of effort I put into the doodle"
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"as I would if I was talking on the phone doodling."
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"-Which is to say, none. -Larry, Larry."
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"if you don't put effort into it,"
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"it just smacks of, I'm sorry to say this,"
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"it smacks of kind of a white male privilege."
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"You know, that you don't have to put any effort into anything,"
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"you could get away with anything, because you're a white man. Right?"
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"I'm the only one who followed instructions"
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"out of everybody on this wall."
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"-There's no doodles here. -I think--"
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"-They're all doodles, in fact. -None of them are doodles."
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"Passionate doodles, because we care about this cause,"
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"-and you don't. -Oh, I don't care about the cause?"
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"-No, I don't think you do. -Oh, I don't? I don't, huh?"
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"-What is that? -What is that, a doodle?"
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"That's a speech that I'll be giving that you'll be listening to"
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"-and apologizing to me later... -I don't think so."
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"-...for ever talking to me like this. Okay? -I don't think so."
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"And it took a lot less time than it took"
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"-for you to do that painting. I can tell you that. -Well, yeah--"
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"Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Laverne Cox."
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"(cheering)"
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"Woo!"
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"Laverne: Good afternoon."
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"with each and every one of you,"
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"Now I know these events can be triggering,"
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"but I want to remind you that you are more than your pain."
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"I want to remind you that you are more than what happened to you."
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"Our first speaker."
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"We know them as the cocreator"
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"of the legendary sitcom Seinfeld."
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"Please join me in welcoming Larry David."
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"-(cheering) -Oh, this is so nice of you."
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"Ah, stop it."
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"Oh, no. To you. To you. You're the heroes."
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"-Whoa! -(audience gasps)"
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"(audience booing)"
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"-Asshole! -What are you doing?"
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"-No, she has a cold! -(booing)"
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"-Alice: What is wrong with you? -She has a cold!"
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"-You're such a disgrace! Why would you even come here? -(angry booing)"
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"-She has-- -Alice: Honestly, what is wrong with you?"
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"-(thudding) -Hey! Hey!"
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"Alice: My God!"
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"-(angry shouting) -Alice: What the hell?"
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"Larry: Hey! Hey!"
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"(angry shouting continues)"
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"Well, what was I supposed to do? She had a cold."
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"-She had a cold? She had a cold. -Larry: Yeah."
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"What if she didn't have a cold?"
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"Ah, well..."
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"You're supposed to kiss her. It's a social nicety."
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"No, I, you know-- I, I--"
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"All right, well now we gotta walk this back, I mean, the optics, Larry."
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"The optics were terrible. This was the way out, do you understand that?"
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"-This, this was, this was supposed to be the olive branch. -Okay."
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"Okay, okay. I'll, I'll..."
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"make out with Laverne Cox on national television."
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"We'll-- I'll have a make-out session with her."
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"No, forget that. How about a, a, a, a nice hug."
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"I'll give her a hug."
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"-All right, we'll spitball. -You know."
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"-But let me set up the meeting, okay? -Slow dance with her."
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"-A slow dance. -Okay. Okay."
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"But more of an old-fashioned dance."
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"-Not, not, you know-- -I, I, I--"
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"Don't, don't come up with any more ideas."
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"Okay? Our problem is that Alice does not feel"
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"that what happened was a good-faith fulfillment of the agreement."
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"Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice."
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"Oh, I am so sick of this woman!"
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"-Roger: So she is now seeking-- -I'm so sick of her!"
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