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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Artificial Fruit (S10E10)

"She is now seeking a personal settlement,"
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"on top of the original donation and speech."
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"I felt sorry for her. That's why I hired--"
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"What are you doing? You're writing down again?"
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"Are you kidding?"
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"Oh, get the fuck outta here!"
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"-That's insane! -Well, that's the price of buying back your legacy,"
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"my friend. That's where we are."
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"Remember that old, uh, John Lennon, Yoko Ono album"
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"where they're in bed together? The bed-in? Whatever that was? -Yeah."
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"-Okay. How about this? -You know?"
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"I think there is one last glimmer of hope,"
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"if we're lucky enough to execute it."
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"And that is to sit down face-to-face, one last time,"
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"and explain that what happened was a legitimate misunderstanding."
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"You know what? I think you should put me on the phone with that attorney."
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"Let me set up the meeting, and then we'll go from there."
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"-You okay with that? -Yeah. I mean, sure."
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"Oh, have an apple."
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"-What? -Yeah."
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"-Maybe I overreacted last time. Have one. -Wow."
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"Very proud of you!"
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"You are making progress."
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"-Aah. Larry-- No, no! -(cracks)"
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"Larry: Oh! Oh! (spitting)"
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"-What the fuck? -Oh, my God."
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"(screams)"
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"(shrieking) I chipped my tooth!"
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"I didn't think you'd bite it. It was artificial!"
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"Then what the fuck did you offer it to me for?"
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"I thought you'd pick it up and think it was great."
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"-What are you, fucking stupid? -I'm sorry."
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"(lisping): You're sorry? You're sorry?"
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"You think you're sorry?"
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"Shove it up your ass!"
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"(lisping): Kill that bastard. I should sue him!"
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"At least yours was an accident."
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"My lawyer, he offered me the fruit on purpose."
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"At least I didn't offer it to you."
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"(lisping): Well, now you know how I feel."
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"-(stammers) There was no smirk. Get out of here. -Smirk."
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"And my dentist, also. What?"
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"Can't see me till tomorrow? I need that? It's an emergency!"
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"(phone chiming)"
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"Hello?"
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"(lisping): Suspicious activity? On my credit card?"
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"A thousand dollars of papas bravas, manchego cheese, paella?"
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"Uh! No!"
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"I didn't order that. But I know who did!"
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"Come on. we have to find Francisco Zarzal."
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"-Francisco Zarzal. -Let's go."
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"Larry: This guy's got some nerve."
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"-He play you for a straight sucker. -Yeah."
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"-It's stealing. It's just stealing, plain and simple. -It's bullshit."
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"It's bullshit. This is bullshit."
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"-What the--? -You'll see. Take a ride."
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"-Jeff: All right. -Leon: Bullshit. Straight bullshit."
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"(sighs)"
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"(lisping): Why do you sound like that?"
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"My tongue's all swollen. It sucks."
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"I have to call Zaragoza. See if I can track down Francisco Zarzal."
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"(tires screech)"
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"(lisping): Look at this. This has to be it."
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"-Lo siento. Lo siento. -Leon: Multo lo siento."
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"-Lo siento. -Leon: Multo lo siento."
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"Excuse me. Have you seen Francisco Zarzal?"
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"-Lo siento. -Lo siento."
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"-Lo siento. -Lo siento. Lo siento. Lo siento."
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"I see everything I paid for: Floral arrangements, the candles,"
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"the alcohol, everything."
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"I paid for that, too. Come on. Let's eat."
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"-Hey, where the fuck you-- -Hey, hey. I'm already going this way."
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"You have to have toast when you eat eggs. It's a necessity."
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"What are you even doing here?"
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"(scoffs) Francisco!"
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"Excuse me."
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"Hello, Francisco."
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"What do you have to say for yourself?"
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"Excuse me, this is not a conversación en la recepción de Concepción Zarzal."
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"Will you repeat that, please?"
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"I don't think this is a conversación en la recepción de Concepción Zarzal."
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"We do it in Zaragoza."
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"(lisping): Oh, the conversation."
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"(stammers) You want to have the conversation at Zaragoza."
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"Were these charges from Zaragoza?"
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"Or perhaps this is a mistake,"
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"because our cards, they look very similar."
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"-But perhaps I used the number, but I don't under-- -Larry: Similar?"
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"How are they similar? The numbers are not the same."
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"The names are certainly not the same. One says Larry David,"
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"the other says Francisco Zarzal."
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"-It's not Zarzal, it's Tharthal. -(lisping): Zarzal."
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"-Tharthal. -(lisping): Zarzal."
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"-Tharthal. -(lisping): Zarzal."
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"-Tharthal! -(lisping): Zarzal."
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"-Tharthal! Hijo de puta. -(lisping): Zarzal?"
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"- Oye. You're making fun of the way we speak. -No!"
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"-No, I'm not making fun. My tooth is chipped. -Don't mock me."
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"-Lo siento. -Lo siento."
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"-They're making fun. -They're making fun."
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"-Lo siento! -Lo siento!"
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"No dumping in the garbage can! No dumping in the garbage can!"
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"I said lo siento! I said lo siento! I said l o siento!"
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"(beeps)"
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"(instinct shouting, guns firing on TV)"
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"Sir, the Union broke through our lines,"
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"(dramatic music plays on TV)"
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"-So, look, I'm sure we'll go over all this stuff upstairs-- -I don't think we should speak"
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"unless our attorneys are present."
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"You just have to know that that whole thing was a-- It was a huge--"
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"The audience misunderstood because I, I, she had a cold."
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"You made a mockery of the entire event."
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"You made a mockery of sexual harassment survivors."
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"And you violated the terms of our agreement."
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"Yeah, I had, I had a whole speech prepared. It was a great speech."
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"I talked about Gloria Steinem. You know, I had a picture of her"
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"up on my wall when I was a teenager."
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"She was really attractive."
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"Excuse me?"
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"No?"
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