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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Artificial Fruit (S10E10)

"-Really? Okay, you know what? -Gorgeous. What?"
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"-Here, take it. I don't want it. -Oh, come on."
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"Cheryl gave it to me, and I don't like the reminder."
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"-Thank you very much. -It hurts me to wear it, actually."
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"Well, it won't hurt me if I ever wear it."
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"(with Castilian accent): Tharagoza."
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"-It's Castilian. -Really? What's Castilian mean?"
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"-Isn't that a soup? -Castilian. It's a dialect of, of Spanish."
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"And they pronounce their "Z"s as "TH"s."
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"You're paying for what? Lunch?"
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"-I, I-- You have never paid for me. -That's what you think."
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"-I'm paying, okay. You're not gonna-- -You are not paying,"
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"because I have my own bread, and I can treat you."
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"I know you can, and you always do."
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"You never let me pay, and I'm sick of it."
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"-No, fuck you, and I'm paying. -Fuck you, you're not paying. I'm paying."
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"-Yeah, we'll see. -Yeah, we will see."
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"Yeah, with pleasure."
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"Fuck you. I'm paying, and I'll see you tomorrow."
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"-Welcome back to Zaragoza. -Thank you very much."
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"Yeah, yeah. He always comes earlier to leave us the card."
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"-I want to pay tomorrow. -Okay."
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"And so, I want to beat him to the punch."
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"No, we're not comfortable doing that."
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"Why? What's the big deal?"
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"Listen, listen. He's just gonna come very early tomorrow."
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"I want to pay. Just take my credit card."
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"Wh-- Where's Francisco? He'll take it."
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"-He waits on me all the time. -Unfortunately, his auntie died."
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"He's at the visitación of Concepción Zarzal."
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"-His auntie died. -Yeah."
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"So he's at the visitación of Concepción Zarzal."
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"Concepción Zarzal?"
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"-Yes. Yes. -Oh, that's her name, Concepción Zarzal."
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"-Oh. -By the way, your friend Ted Danson"
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"came yesterday with a very attractive blonde."
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"What, wh--"
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"Cecilio? What was the name of yesterday's blonde?"
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"-Cheryl. -Cheryl."
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"Lucky you."
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"Okay."
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"♪ ♪"
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"Where is the location of that visitation?"
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"Yeah. Yeah, that one."
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"(whispering): Lo siento. Lo siento."
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"Oh, sorry. Excuse me. Con permiso."
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"-Francisco. -Larry."
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"-Lo siento. Lo siento. -Thank you. Thank you for coming."
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"-Lo siento. -Did, did you know my aunt, Concepción?"
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"I didn't know her."
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"I'm sure she was a wonderful woman."
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"-She was like a mother to me. -Is that so?"
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"-Yes. -Let me ask you a question. Are you..."
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"-Yes, of course. -Oh, okay."
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"-'Cause I'm having lunch with Richard Lewis. -Okay."
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"-And-- -Can, can we talk about this another time?"
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"Um, and he always pays for lunch."
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"-I'd just like to get a little head start on him... -Yeah, okay, okay."
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"...and just give you my credit card beforehand."
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"-Would, would you mind doing that? -Seriously?"
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"-What the-- What are you doing here? -Me? What are you doing here?"
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"-What are you doing here? -Francisco, I'm so sorry."
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"No, no. Don't."
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"Larry: Hey, did, uh, did you try the scone?"
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"Yeah, yeah."
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"You know, I-- I didn't love it."
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"-Are you kidding? -It's like a fancy muffin."
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"Don't say it's a fancy muffin, Jeff."
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"It's like you're saying roast beef is chicken. Roast beef is not chicken."
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"Eh."
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"-Okay, fuck you guys. You're so stupid. -Hated it. Hated it."
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"And could you do me one favor, please?"
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"Can you take down that picture of me and Cheryl?"
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"-In your house? -Susie won't let me."
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"Su-- Oh, you, you know what, I can't even..."
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"What the fuck?"
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"Holy shit."
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"Inundated, that's what we're gonna be."
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"You know, he came to my house last year,"
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"asked me if he can go out with Cheryl."
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"I said no, but he did it anyway."
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"-Jeff: What kind of friend is that? -Larry: I don't know."
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"-Your most vulnerable moment. -Yeah."
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"You're getting divorced. Oh, and he's gonna"
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"-swoop in and take your ex-wife. -No. Friends don't do that."
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"-Both: Friends don't do that. -Larry: No, they don't."
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"-Who does something-- -Larry: Who does something like that?"
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"That motherfucker!"
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"No, no, no, no! Larry!"
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"-(thuds) -Larry: Aah!"
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"(Jeff stammering)"
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"-(lisping): I can't believe you did something like that. -Uh..."
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"Bit my fuckin' tongue."
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"-Fuck. -I'm so sorry."
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"Jeff: Oh, goddamn it!"
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"♪ ♪"
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"Leon: Ah, yeah."
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"Stir it up real good."
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"-Mm-hmm. -Hello, Arnold Palmer."
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"-Congratulations. -That motherfucker got away with that shit."
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"-Yeah, I didn't think he was the first one to do it. -Fuckin' right."
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"You know how many times I fuckin' put milk and Mountain Dew together?"
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"You know what I mean? I could have had my own--"
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"Milk and Mountain Dew? Disgusting."
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"There's certain taste buds that you motherfuckers like."
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"But you get away with that shit. I don't know how the fuck you get away with it."
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"When you say "you motherfuckers," you're referring to white people?"
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"Of course I am. You motherfuckers"
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"will accept all kind of stupid shit in your mouth."
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"-Oh, is that so? Oh. -Escargots, and, and, and fuckin' wheat grass."
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"Who the fuck drinks fuckin' grass?"
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"-Oh, okay, okay. I-I must-- -What kind of motherfucker, cutting your grass?"
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"-Humph. (sniffs) -And pigs' knuckles?"
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"Anything to do with the pig."
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"-Huh? -Touché, motherfucker."
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"Right there. Hey, man."
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"I hope your speech is better than that goddamned doodle right there."
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"Hey, fuckface,"
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"you really shouldn't be insulting a doodle. It's a doodle."
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"Whoo!"
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