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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Thong (S02E02)

"It's some celebrity auction."
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"Somebody paid $4,000 to go have lunch with me."
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"He wants to have lunch with Larry David."
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"I feel a lot of pressure to be entertaining, you know?"
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"- Hiya, John Tyler. - John Tyler?"
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"Like the president."
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"President Tyler."
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"This is great. Thank you for donating your time..."
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"You don't know? If I was named after a president..."
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"I wasn't named after him, it's just a family name."
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"- You never know. I'm related to King David. - Really?"
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"Yes, so, a president and a king..."
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"Yeah, five brothers and sisters, you know, Irish."
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"You ever catch your parents having sex?"
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"- No. - Me either."
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"You know they did, but you wonder when."
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"You ever see Joe Piscopo's Jersey Guy?"
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""I'm Jersey guy."
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""I'm from Jersey, I'm the Jersey guy.""
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"Yeah, people from Jersey didn't really find that guy funny."
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"What song is this?"
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"Happy birthday, Mr. President John Tyler"
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"Anyway, everybody from Groat's Syndrome Association just..."
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"and for donating the lunch. We really appreciate it."
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"Please, whatever you need, I'll donate anything you want."
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"I'll donate it all. My time, my organs."
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"What do you want, you want a kidney? I'll give it to you."
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"What else do you need?"
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"I've got a terrific penis. I could donate a penis."
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"Mr. Spleen gets rid of dirt and grime"
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"And grease in just a minute"
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"Mr. Spleen will clean your whole house"
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"And everything that's in it, Mr. Spleen"
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"If you change "Mr. " to "Monsieur," say, "Monsieur Spleen"..."
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"then you'll think that the commercial was..."
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"Monsieur Clean, Monsieur Clean"
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"It's a devastating illness..."
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"It's a nervous system syndrome..."
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"that makes people extremely excited and nervous."
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"- My niece has it. - Of course, Dick Groat."
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"Named after Dick Groat..."
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"I know, 'cause he was a bald guy. And he didn't feel very well..."
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"No, the doctor that initially diagnosed it was named Groat."
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"Dr. Groat might be Dick Groat's father, for all we know."
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"- No? - No, my niece has it, and..."
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"You might want to check into that."
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"his boys are hanging out all over the place."
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"Yours will be ready in just a few minutes, sir."
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"So, you don't want me to start, is that it?"
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"It's a couple minutes. You don't mind, do you?"
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"I just think it's kind of weird."
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"I'd feel it would be polite to wait for your food to arrive."
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"Yeah, but we're supposed to be having lunch together."
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"Do we have to start at the exact same time? I don't get that."
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"I don't see why you can't wait two seconds for your cold sandwich. It's not even hot."
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"- How does that bother you? - Because we're having lunch together."
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"- So what? - The two of us."
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"Thanks for switching appointments with me."
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"Larry, what happened with that lunch? What did you do?"
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"I felt so much pressure from the fact that this guy had paid $4,000..."
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"and I tried too hard to be entertaining and affable."
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"was named after the shortstop for the Pittsburgh Pirates, Dick Groat?"
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"I didn't say that as a fact, I speculated, because..."
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"Yeah, 'cause Lou Gehrig had a disease named after him."
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"And Dick Groat was a ball player. I thought it was a possibility."
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"Didn't you read the literature I sent you?"
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"You start eating before he gets his food?"
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"- And what did he say? - He said he did mind."
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"till his food arrived, so that you could start eating."
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"What kind of person says yes to "Do you mind if I start?""
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"Do you know anybody who would do that?"
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"He told me he was going to cancel the check..."
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"unless, you know... I was like, searching."
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"I said, "Is there anything we can do to make it up to you?""
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"He said, "Maybe if Larry would..."
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""get more involved and show that he really cared..."
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""about Groat's syndrome, maybe then I would agree to give the money.""
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"And I suggested, "If Larry would agree to host..."
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""the Groat's syndrome talent show..."
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""maybe he could make it up to you that way.""
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"if you would agree to host the talent show."
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"It's being Groat's active."
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"It's not a big deal, all you got to do is you show up..."
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"These are all people, by the way, with Groat's syndrome."
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"that you can have a life with Groat's syndrome..."
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"and you can be active and talented and all of that."
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"I don't understand how lunch could come..."
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"and it's right in front of you, and..."
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"This would go a long way to helping us secure that check..."
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"and I think also, do quite a bit..."
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"in raising some consciousness about Groat's."
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"They still trust me now, they would want me to do that?"
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"Okay, all right. Good to talk to you."
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"- Feel good. - All right, you too."
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"- Okay, I do. - Goodbye."
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"Hello."
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"- Really? - I'm feeling pretty good."
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"pretty, pretty good."
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"- What happened? - I had an epiphany."
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"And I'm just... My whole life is in perspective."
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"I feel great."
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"- What was your epiphany? - I'm ready to terminate."
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"You know what I am? I'm the terminator."
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"Which is even better, to go shopping with her. Imagine that."
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"- No beach? - I didn't go to the beach, no."
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"You know, just intermittently, if I can, if you'll have me, I hope you will."
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"Just to kind of have a little refresher course..."
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"So, now you feel all these things that were upsetting you..."
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"Yes, I don't need to come in regularly anymore."
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"I go to his office for a meeting..."
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"he wants me to go back for the next meeting."
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"You see how agitated you are, Larry?"
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"Yeah, but that's okay, that's okay."
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"No, I mean, 'cause you just got through saying..."
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"how great you feel."
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"But, if you're gonna remind me of the holocaust..."
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"No, what you're seeing as agitation is actually ebullience."
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""Who am I?" you're saying to yourself."
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"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Who are you?"
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"I don't even want to talk about it too much, lest I dissipate it."
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