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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Thong (S02E02)

"It doesn't matter, you need something to get out."
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"Is this the Beverly Center, this thing?"
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"Battlestar Galactica?"
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"- How are you? - Good, how are you?"
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"Thank you."
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"Wasn't she wonderful?"
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"And I have been assured that after they come up..."
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"And I think you're going to enjoy her very much."
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"ladies and gentlemen, Melanie Tyler."
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"So, I'm really happy with my new sneakers."
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"And if you think about it, it's a good color 'cause white is really too bright..."
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"She plays tennis, she won't play golf. I can't play tennis because of my neck."
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"- What else does Cheryl like to do? - She likes the outdoors."
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"It's not a good place for bald people out there."
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"I go up to Santa Barbara, we go to the beach."
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"I mean, if I went to the beach with her she would be..."
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"- Go to the beach with her. - Hate it."
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"- Maybe I will. - Good idea."
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"Okay, see you next week, be well."
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"- How you doing? - Good, how are you?"
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"- 100%%. - You had the big breakthrough?"
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"It's such nonsense, isn't it? What are you gonna do?"
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"- This goes on forever. - I know."
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"- Rob, have a seat, I'll be right in. - Okay, all right."
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"Yeah, listen, I just want to say, I'm doing this charity thing."
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"I'm the chairman of this... You know what Groat's syndrome is?"
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"Groat, have you ever heard of Groat's syndrome?"
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"It's a syndrome. I mean, and it affects kids and adults..."
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"who have a tough time controlling their hyperactivity."
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"at all times."
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"And so, we're doing a big celebrity auction."
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"And it would be great if you would agree to..."
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"allow yourself to be auctioned off and have lunch with somebody."
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"I mean, a lot of people are doing it. Tony Danza, and Ted Danson..."
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"I'm flattered that you would even think of me for this..."
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"but, Rob, no one wants to have lunch with me."
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"- Yeah, but I mean... - The people'd love to be sitting..."
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"No one's gonna bid any money. It's gonna be embarrassing."
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"To go to a Larry David lunch? 50 cents, you know, it's ridiculous."
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"just by you agreeing to have lunch with them."
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"- If you don't want to... - No, I'll do it."
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"You will? Great."
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"You'll be surprised at how much you go for."
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"Surprised, I'm gonna be..."
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"I think you're gonna be surprised at how little I go for."
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"Anyway, thanks, Larry, I really appreciate it. That's great."
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"I think that's a pretty good idea."
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"I think I'm gonna do it."
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"- The two of us? - Any interest in that?"
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"- Yeah. - Really?"
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"- I think that would be wonderful. - Do you?"
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"- Of course. - Really?"
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"Don't you think I would love to go to the beach?"
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"What about golf, you're not playing golf?"
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"I don't have to play. I won't play, big deal."
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"You don't have to play every Saturday."
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"- Exactly, that's what I'm doing. - I would love to accept your invitation."
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"Okay, you got a date. Now, what do I need to bring?"
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"- You don't need to... - I need a bathing suit, right?"
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"I'll take care of the rest."
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"Then you're defeating the purpose, aren't you?"
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"So what do you do, you lie down on a blanket, and..."
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"Don't forget sun block."
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"Gotcha. I'm looking forward to it."
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"All right."
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"It's beautiful out here."
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"All right, let's see, I'll grab this."
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"Shoes in here."
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"- I'll get this. - What, where do I put this suit on?"
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"Of course."
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"I thought I'd be uncomfortable."
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"You're going to the beach."
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"I didn't want to drive an hour and a half with a bathing suit on."
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"I don't have to put it on. I'm not gonna go swimming anyway, am I?"
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"This is beautiful."
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"I can't carry all this stuff. What about the umbrella, you want that too?"
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"- Got any sun block? - Yeah."
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"Jews buy, like, 85%% of the sun block that's sold in this country, don't you think?"
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"I've never thought about..."
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"Without Jews these sun block people would be out of business."
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"Is that right?"
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"Yeah, I've never once seen a Gentile ask for, or even put on, sun block."
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"No?"
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"I stare at it for 10 minutes and I go, "Okay, I get it.""
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"Don't you feel calmer?"
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"I feel aggravated that I'm missing what other people are getting."
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"I think I just saw my therapist. You see a guy in a striped bathing suit?"
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"Skimpy, skimpy suit, you see that?"
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"- Yeah, I see him. - Yeah, that's my therapist."
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"- I can't talk to him in that bathing suit. - It is pretty small."
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"- What's he doing? - He's just kind of settling in."
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"Can we go? Let's just go."
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"We just got here, we're not gonna go."
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"That's ridiculous. Plus, if you get up, don't you think he'll see you then?"
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"I've got to stay like this now, for the rest of the day?"
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"I guess that's up to you."
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"Kiss that therapist goodbye."
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"The only question now is, do I tell Richard Lewis?"
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"No question about it. It was Weiss, Dr. Weiss."
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"Thong, up his ass."
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"- Like Richard Simmons? - Richard Simmons has a thong up his ass?"
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"- Did you ever see him do that shit? - No."
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"Holy shit."
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"So, you know, I just wanted to tell you, you know, so I'm leaving..."
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"You know what, this is so unfair of you."
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"I turn you on to this guy, he's a brilliant doctor."
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"- I would've never told you. - You should be thanking me."
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"Hedonist, he's a hedonist?"
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"This is my 28th therapist since 1969."
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"I don't want to go anymore, I don't want to break the record."
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"The recap is very hard. Your recap is two, three months, isn't it?"
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"Two, three months? That's just the crib."
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"- and I became an alcoholic. - Okay, you don't have to do it right now."
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"Is it like a woman? Can you do it on the phone?"
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"You're not canceling cable."
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"Let's go out to lunch, let's talk about this, 'cause we need a game plan."
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"There's no plan, you go in and quit. What are you gonna do?"
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"- Can't we have lunch and discuss this? - I can't."
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"- Why not? - I've been auctioned off for some charity."
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"What is this, Roots? What you mean, "auctioned off?""
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