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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S04E04)

"Oh, darn, I can't."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(LAUGHING) Wait, there's no elf. It's always me!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Men and women need sex to live together. It solves all disputes."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, like Barney's theory about world peace?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Gaza strippers. Next. - Uh-huh."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(ROBIN AND TED GASPING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No. We're just having sex so we don't fight anymore."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and that magazine is saying one thing and one thing only."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall's about to read a big old magazine"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"DONALD: Oh, sweetie, so obvious."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"wherein none would discuss a certain event that transpired."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And now that we're hooking up, we're not fighting anymore."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So I'm responsible for... Excellent. Excellent. Excellent."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- So happy for those two. - Barney, admit it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The woman in this scenario is a prostitute."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And there's something kind of liberating about not taking it all too seriously."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now baby don't mind I took my time."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's just so..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, you're saying plasmas are better for low light,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Uh-huh."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(GASPS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Right? That kiss violated the spirit of our whole arrangement."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I think we have to stop sleeping together. With me and Ted, it's like cigarettes."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"are still causing friction between you and Robin, I thought I'd help out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Here's 10,000. That ought to do you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Um, okay. Thanks, I guess. Hey, you want a beer?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No. That dishwasher's always been there. How long have you lived here?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SCOFFS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Name me one bro in the history of bros who has ever done that."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Positive? - Absolutely."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Who wants to do some coloring?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, great. Did Lily send you? I don't have the bear, okay?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, I have to tell you the truth. I'm in love with"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"He said he couldn't do it anymore because someone's gonna get hurt."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Isn't it obvious?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: Kids, in the winter of 2009,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Aunt Robin and I had just become roommates."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And to be honest, it wasn't going very smoothly."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ooh, that looks good. I'm gonna get some."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Mmm. There's no more milk. - No, I just saw some in the fridge."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Empty. - So throw it out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- The trash can's full. - So take the trash out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm eating cereal."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know, when I asked you to be my roommate, I figured,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""She's a girl, she'll be neat.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But no, you're Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know what, Ted? Instead of coming up with"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"hot-off-the-press topical references like that,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"maybe you should spend a little time, I don't know, washing a dish ever."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm too busy leaving a plate of cookies"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"for the magical elf who changes the toilet paper roll."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I always change it. You never do!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- That is ridiculous! - No, I went in there yesterday..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I changed it the last five times. - Stop! Stop!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What is going on?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"When we were dating each other, we were practically living together"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- and we didn't drive each other this crazy. - I know. What happened?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know what it is? We were having sex."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So I explained to her, I said, "Madeline, every single international conflict"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""essentially boils down to sexual tension.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Every international conflict? - Every single one, dude."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So the crisis in the Middle East could be solved by..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Apartheid? - Apart thighs. What else you got?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Cold War?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""Mrs. Gorbachev, take down those pants.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, guess we should just start having sex, then."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, right."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Wow. - I know."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- It's like riding a bike, huh, buddy? - Riding a bike upside down, maybe."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CHUCKLES)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, listen. If this is gonna happen on occasion,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"we can't tell anyone about this. Deal?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Deal. - Deal."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Marshall, Marshall... - What the hell are you guys doing?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What, are you guys back together?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, that's a great idea. No, really. Two thumbs up, guys."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, I just looked into the future and that works out really great for everyone."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What are you even doing here?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I was on my way to work and I just had to drop by here"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"to read this magazine."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- In that room over there. - Oh, I get it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- No problem, buddy. - Uh... Yes, a problem, buddy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You came all the way over here to read a magazine?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm willing to bet that there is a place to read a magazine at work."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know, a room with a little man on the door?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, Robin. Come on. Nobody likes to read a magazine at work."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I mean, you walk out of your office holding a magazine"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, everyone, look at what Marshall's about to do!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"in the bathroom that you all share with him."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, have you thought about"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"maybe not reading a magazine when you read a magazine?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You gotta read a magazine. I mean, that's why there's magazines."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Otherwise, it's just time you're not getting back."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Exactly. And the worst part is this,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"that stretch of hallway from my door to that restroom"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"is a gauntlet of judging eyes."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"MARSHALL: You got my boss..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"WOMAN: We all know exactly what you're about to do."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"MARSHALL: her boss..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"MAN: Hey, Eriksen, why don't you just move your desk in there?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"MARSHALL: ... I -Can't-Believe-He-Has-A-Wife Donald."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Anyways, I just would rather do that here. - No, I'm sorry. This is our apartment now."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall, you have to read a magazine someplace else."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Give me your key. - Yeah, I'm not gonna do that."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Marshall? - I seem to recall"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"a deal being struck between three parties"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"An event of the..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(IMITATES MATTRESS SQUEAKING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"...persuasion."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That key, madam, buys my silence. Good day to you both."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You two hooked up?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Thanks a lot, Lily."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, wow. You two slept together. That is awf... Some."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Awfsome. Nice work, Ted. Tap that."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- It sounds like a bigger deal than it is. - Yeah, we talked it over,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and we both realized we've had a rough couple of months."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- We deserve a little fun. - No."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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