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Clips from Louie (2010) - Bully (S01E01)

"May I get the door for you, madam?"
Louie (2010)
"Because you're a woman and I'm a man and you're-- I'm strong and mighty."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah?"
Louie (2010)
"Hey. Hi, you don't know me."
Louie (2010)
"But-- What, are you selling something?"
Louie (2010)
"I'm here because--"
Louie (2010)
"You have a son named Sean? Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"Well, I had a little trouble with him tonight. - Like what?"
Louie (2010)
"Well, he threatened me. He threatened to beat me up."
Louie (2010)
"Would you come in, please? - Yeah, sure."
Louie (2010)
"- Jimmy, turn that shit down. - I'm playing."
Louie (2010)
"Turn it down, goddamn it!"
Louie (2010)
"So, what happened?"
Louie (2010)
"Well, I was at this doughnut place on 14th Street and I was on a date and--"
Louie (2010)
"Well, Sean came in with all these friends of his and they were making a racket..."
Louie (2010)
"...and nobody could talk or anything, so I asked them to keep it down."
Louie (2010)
"He starts threatening me and saying he could beat me up."
Louie (2010)
"He's saying that he's beat other people up and he's saying that--"
Louie (2010)
"Well, he said that if I didn't ask him not to..."
Louie (2010)
"...that he would beat the shit out of me. Oh, my God."
Louie (2010)
"Look, nothing happened to me, I'm okay, but, I mean, it was scary."
Louie (2010)
"You know, I'm not a fighting guy."
Louie (2010)
"I'm not gonna get in a fight with somebody."
Louie (2010)
"Sean, get down here."
Louie (2010)
"What, what, what? - Were you bothering this guy?"
Louie (2010)
"I don't know what he told you! Tell him you're sorry!"
Louie (2010)
"Stop hitting him. How do you think he turned out like this?"
Louie (2010)
"Don't say that, he's your kid."
Louie (2010)
"He probably could have been a good kid. He's obviously smart."
Louie (2010)
"But what--? How--? You teach him to just hit people."
Louie (2010)
"What was he gonna be but a stupid bully? You never gave him a chance."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, screw you."
Louie (2010)
"Who the hell are you?"
Louie (2010)
"What? Get the hell out of my house, you faggot!"
Louie (2010)
"What are you--? Tell me how to raise my kid!"
Louie (2010)
"Go back to New York, you Obama-loving faggot!"
Louie (2010)
"Who needs you?"
Louie (2010)
"Hey."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, buddy, listen."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, man, I don't know what to do."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, I got three kids in there and, you know...."
Louie (2010)
"Listen, I don't know what you're dealing with."
Louie (2010)
"You know, I mean, I got two kids but they're girls and the oldest is 8..."
Louie (2010)
"...so I don't know, I mean...."
Louie (2010)
"I guess I just--"
Louie (2010)
"I would go with maybe not hitting them."
Louie (2010)
"That doesn't seem like such a great idea."
Louie (2010)
"Well, that's what I know."
Louie (2010)
"My dad hit me, and his dad him."
Louie (2010)
"And how's that going?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"How old were you when you had kids?"
Louie (2010)
"I was 34."
Louie (2010)
"I was 20."
Louie (2010)
"Grace had a great ass then."
Louie (2010)
"Twenty, that's crazy. Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"Then again, my life from 20 to 34 was all shit..."
Louie (2010)
"...so I might as well have had kids then."
Louie (2010)
"What do you do?"
Louie (2010)
"Sanitation."
Louie (2010)
"You?"
Louie (2010)
"I'm a comedian."
Louie (2010)
"Get the **** out of here. Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah. It's a job."
Louie (2010)
"No, it isn't."
Louie (2010)
"I guess not."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, I was a piece of shit when I was a kid."
Louie (2010)
"I stole a kid's bike when I was a kid and then somebody stole it from me."
Louie (2010)
"That's what happens."
Louie (2010)
"And I couldn't take it back because he was bigger, he could kick my ass."
Louie (2010)
"And I've never been in a fight. I've never been in a fight."
Louie (2010)
"...was beat somebody up or suck a guy's dick."
Louie (2010)
"I mention those because those are things I never did--"
Louie (2010)
"I would say, things I'll never do, that I've crossed the line..."
Louie (2010)
"...where I never will do them because I'm 42..."
Louie (2010)
"...and it would just be a weird time to start..."
Louie (2010)
"...is fighting, blowing guys, and skiing."
Louie (2010)
"I think those are the three things."
Louie (2010)
"That the window has closed on learning to ski..."
Louie (2010)
"...starting to be a fighting person, or blowing men."
Louie (2010)
"Who starts blowing guys at 42?"
Louie (2010)
"Hey, man. Just don't."
Louie (2010)
"Who are you?"
Louie (2010)
"I'm you in 30 years."
Louie (2010)
"You gotta be kidding me. You're fat. You're ugly."
Louie (2010)
"I mean-- Yeah, you're gonna be bald too."
Louie (2010)
"All right? God. This is a nightmare."
Louie (2010)
"What happened to you?"
Louie (2010)
"I don't know, man."
Louie (2010)
"You'll see."
Louie (2010)
"This sucks. Mm-hm."
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie (2010)
"I knew sex existed, I didn't know what it was."
Louie (2010)
"...out of that little hole at the tip of your dick. I was terrified."
Louie (2010)
"That's good. It worked. Yeah, I hope so."
Louie (2010)
"I'm not afraid of a kid, some high school bully."
Louie (2010)
"Listen, I don't know what this guy told you. Shit, Dad, I don't know what he told you!"
Louie (2010)
"Seriously? Twenty, yeah."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, that's all right."
Louie (2010)
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah"
Louie (2010)
"Go get them, Louie! - Good job, good job."
Louie (2010)
"All right, Louie."
Louie (2010)
"And I was right out of high school."
Louie (2010)
"Her boobs were so hot, did you see that?"
Louie (2010)
"No. - No."
Louie (2010)
"But, look, he threatened me and that's illegal."
Louie (2010)
"What are you talking about? He's no good!"
Louie (2010)