Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Silicon Valley - Bachman's Earning's Over-Ride (S03E03)

"Because 'awesome world-changing compression company'"
Silicon Valley
"would take up too much space."
Silicon Valley
"And you guys give me shit for a tiny gold chain?"
Silicon Valley
"I regret nothing. I'm going to get coffee."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, Brownie, you coming?"
Silicon Valley
"I was thinking we'd hit the Philz on Middlefield."
Silicon Valley
"No, let's drive to the one on Forest Avenue."
Silicon Valley
"It's further from that jacket."
Silicon Valley
"Claude, you're on pager duty until we get back."
Silicon Valley
"Jared, can I borrow that jacket?"
Silicon Valley
"I sense you're doing something ironic with it,"
Silicon Valley
"but I'm okay with that because..."
Silicon Valley
"however unattractive this jacket may seem to you,"
Silicon Valley
"once you slip it on, everything will change."
Silicon Valley
"It'll shake out its hair and take off its glasses,"
Silicon Valley
"and before you know it, you'll be in love."
Silicon Valley
"Jared, it's really fucking ugly."
Silicon Valley
"Consider the tortoise."
Silicon Valley
"As the fable teaches us,"
Silicon Valley
"it may appear that he is losing in his race"
Silicon Valley
"against his nemesis, the insolent and cocksure hare."
Silicon Valley
"But appearances can be deceiving."
Silicon Valley
"Gavin, the tortoise. Is it Endframe?"
Silicon Valley
"Yes. But there's more."
Silicon Valley
"The hare is Pied Piper."
Silicon Valley
"Indeed it is. Someone's read their Aesop."
Silicon Valley
"We've also read the financials, Gavin."
Silicon Valley
"Between Nucleus and Endframe, you've burned through"
Silicon Valley
"three-quarters of a billion dollars,"
Silicon Valley
"with virtually nothing to show for it."
Silicon Valley
"Two weeks ago, on the heels of powering down"
Silicon Valley
"the entire Hooli campus for seemingly no reason,"
Silicon Valley
"you lost all of Endframe's senior engineers."
Silicon Valley
"I grant you, we've stumbled on offense of late,"
Silicon Valley
"but the best offense is a good defense."
Silicon Valley
"We've taken a page out of Apple's playbook"
Silicon Valley
"and are currently reviewing the Pied Piper app for sale"
Silicon Valley
"in our Hooli store at a pace one might call tortoise-like."
Silicon Valley
"Don't. They hate that."
Silicon Valley
"In any case, I have it on good authority"
Silicon Valley
"that it may be some time before Pied Piper"
Silicon Valley
"is available on Hooli OS devices."
Silicon Valley
"- We're making it available immediately. - Sorry?"
Silicon Valley
"You're fighting a war that's already ended, Gavin. Pied Piper won."
Silicon Valley
"We called this board meeting to inform you that it's time for Hooli to let go"
Silicon Valley
"and move on without you at the wheel."
Silicon Valley
"I'm sorry, without me? Are you firing me?"
Silicon Valley
"Our intention is simply to transition you"
Silicon Valley
"into a more appropriate role within the company,"
Silicon Valley
"one with less oversight of day-to-day operations."
Silicon Valley
"You're putting me on the fucking roof?"
Silicon Valley
"You could always choose to move on, Gavin. Up to you."
Silicon Valley
"I built this company with my bare hands in my fucking garage."
Silicon Valley
"Where were you when I was doing that?"
Silicon Valley
"Gavin?"
Silicon Valley
"These animals?"
Silicon Valley
"Fuck."
Silicon Valley
"Well, uh, you are certainly more than qualified to be our new head of PR."
Silicon Valley
"Laurie thinks you're great. Um, to be honest, we could use the help."
Silicon Valley
"All the media stuff has been pretty overwhelming, especially lately."
Silicon Valley
"- If Marissa Mayer can do it, so can you. - Oh."
Silicon Valley
"And, uh, you're available immediately?"
Silicon Valley
"I am. I do have one question for you guys."
Silicon Valley
"Is everything here... cool?"
Silicon Valley
"Is it cool? Uh, yeah."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, I mean, I'm-- I'm cool."
Silicon Valley
"- Yeah, he is cool. - Uh-huh."
Silicon Valley
"Clearly, but is there anything you guys want"
Silicon Valley
"to tell me... about the company?"
Silicon Valley
"What, like, uh--"
Silicon Valley
"All right, look, this is weird,"
Silicon Valley
"but when I was in Laurie's office yesterday,"
Silicon Valley
"I saw a piece of paper on her desk."
Silicon Valley
"Well, she-- she can be a bit untidy."
Silicon Valley
"It was a sale of a big block of Pied Piper stock."
Silicon Valley
"Is someone on the inside"
Silicon Valley
"dumping shares right as you're launching?"
Silicon Valley
"What?"
Silicon Valley
"No. No, absolutely not."
Silicon Valley
"'Cause that would be a pretty severe signaling risk."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, you don't have to be in PR to know that insiders"
Silicon Valley
"only dump stock like that when they know something is wrong."
Silicon Valley
"The bulk of my compensation here would be options,"
Silicon Valley
"and if those aren't going to be worth anything--"
Silicon Valley
"Yeah. No. No, no, no."
Silicon Valley
"That is not happening, okay? Nothing is going on here."
Silicon Valley
"- Yeah, except excellence. - Okay."
Silicon Valley
"Well, you let me know what you want to do"
Silicon Valley
"and I'll think about it."
Silicon Valley
"Okay. Oh."
Silicon Valley
"Um, well, thanks for coming."
Silicon Valley
"What the hell was that?"
Silicon Valley
"Maybe it was a negotiating tactic?"
Silicon Valley
"Monica."
Silicon Valley
"It's Monica."
Silicon Valley
"Well, let's not jump to conclusions."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, she's the only one who's bought a jacket."
Silicon Valley
"Jared, she's the only one who hates the platform."
Silicon Valley
"There's no other explanation for this. Okay? Monica fucked us."
Silicon Valley
"She pulled down her pants and fucked us in front of her parents."
Silicon Valley
"Did some-- Richard, did somebody do that to you?"
Silicon Valley
"No. No, I don't know why--"
Silicon Valley
"Oh, boy, it is chilly."
Silicon Valley
"Good thing I brought this sweet jiz-acket."
Silicon Valley
"Eh, friend? We came here together."
Silicon Valley
"I know what you're doing."
Silicon Valley
"You think you're embarrassing me,"
Silicon Valley
"but that's only the secondary effect of that shitty jacket."
Silicon Valley
"The primary effect is..."
Silicon Valley
"that you look like a douchebag."
Silicon Valley
"Let me put this in terms you'll understand."
Silicon Valley
"I'm like a suicide bomber of humiliation."
Silicon Valley
"I'm happy to go out as long as I take you with me."
Silicon Valley
"Your shame is my paradise."
Silicon Valley
"S'up, ladies?"
Silicon Valley
"What you noshing on? Cranberry scone?"
Silicon Valley
"My friend Dinesh here has a little crush on you. He's shy."
Silicon Valley
"I don't know him."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, he plays coy."
Silicon Valley
"I don't know why he's so shy."
Silicon Valley
Show more clips