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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Adrian Pimento (S03E03)

"Well, you don't have to."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"No, I'm gonna."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"he broke into my apartment"
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"and he keeps forgetting he's a cop"
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"Rosa, what if he's one of them? What if he turned?"
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"Oh, man, bolt cutters?"
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"Bolt cutters have literally"
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"never been used by an innocent person."
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"What? Oh, my God."
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"Follow-up questions later."
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"All right, I got to keep following him."
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"Oh, don't worry about me. I'll be invisible."
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"- ♪ 'Cause here's my number - Ah..."
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"♪ So call me maybe"
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"and broke into a creepy abandoned warehouse."
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"Oh, wait, he's coming back out."
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"Are his eyes all wild?"
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"- Rosa, focus. - Sorry."
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"but the good news is I got a new plan."
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"then I take him down to the break room."
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"Oopsie. Now it's a whole crime scene."
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"And then we can get crime scene cleaners."
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""Know the garbage, know the man?""
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"That's not a saying."
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"Yes, it is. I know all your secrets."
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"Boyle."
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"You got a taste for fast food."
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"Those aren't mine."
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"I only eat locally-sourced meats."
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"Speaking of Jeffords,"
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"maybe your daughters would like to know"
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"that their daddy throws away all their drawings?"
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"They just draw so many, and they're all so bad."
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"And you, Santiago,"
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"maybe the world would like to see that draft of a memo"
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"you wrote where you used T-H-E-I-R instead of T-H-E-R-E?"
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"Oh, you sick son of a bitch."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Why do you hate us so much?"
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"I know you call me Mean Marge."
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"Do you even know my last name?"
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"- Please. - No."
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"It was a educated guess."
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"Thanks for coming."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Pimento put the duffel in his trunk, parked around the corner,"
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"and went home; he's been doing shirtless tai chi"
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"Which window is that?"
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"What? No, I can do it."
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"Why would you say that?"
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"Why wouldn't I call it? I'm doing this."
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"You had a pizzazz problem, so you've been recast, sweetie."
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"You know, David here really connected with the role."
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"like a couple of boring normals."
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"I'm sorry, but we're detectives,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"not professional actors."
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"We were trying our hardest."
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"- "We were trying our hardest." - Stop it."
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"There he goes."
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"Off to take more pills."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Suck it, roadside assistance."
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"You know what, let's hang out now."
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"I was thinking the exact same thing."
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"What are you doing here, partner?"
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"Come on, Jake."
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"You honestly didn't assume I would hire a look-alike"
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"My butt is rock hard."
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"That guy's got a pancake butt."
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"Breaking into my apartment, buying a burner phone,"
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"grabbing this duffel."
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"I broke into your apartment 'cause I didn't feel safe"
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"And a burner phone is the only kind of phone I can get"
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"because I disappeared for 12 years,"
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"- and now have terrible credit. - Makes sense."
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"You want to know what's in the duffel?"
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"Open it up, tough guy."
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"I stashed it all when I became Paul Sneed."
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"that could trace back to my family."
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"I get it, all right?"
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"You have no clue what I've been through!"
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"I can't believe I trusted you."
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"Just get out of here, Jake."
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"Oh, my God, this guy's got a pancake butt."
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"So Detective Pimento didn't show up for work today."
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"Any idea why?"
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"- I like it. Do you? - I did."
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"- Until you bragged about it. - Yeah."
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"along with a note reading, "I can't do this."
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"I'm better off as a bagman.""
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"Fine, single bag it."
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"Idiot."
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"Hey, partner."
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"Bag boys don't have partners."
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"Actually, cashiers and bag boys"
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"need to be totally in sync..."
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"Look, man, you sacrificed 12 years of your life"
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"Yeah. Me too."
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"I mean, I wanted it to be badass,"
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"switch over from AOL."
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"I have no idea what you're going through."
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"but honestly, I have no clue."
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"Anyways, the footage came back on that B&E,"
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"I'll put them on top here."
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"What was that about? What happened to you?"
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"from our friend at the Guffin Foundation."
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"Apparently they loved our video submission."
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"What did you send them?"
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"No, none at all, sir."
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"First, I couldn't wrap my head around that concept,"
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"but then I realized:"
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"No, ugly little runts"
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"with wonky eyes and tongues that won't stay in their mouths."
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"But the Anatolian Shepherd"
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"I was trying to wow them,"
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"♪ I will remember you"
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"Disgrace, disgrace."
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"Help us. Stop it."
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"You might just make it as an actor after all."
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"Well done, Linetti."
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"Sergeant Linetti."
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"I had the fake Holt give me a promotion."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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