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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Adrian Pimento (S03E03)

Nope. I'm out.

"Nope. I'm out."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but he's just resurfaced, and he's rejoining the Nine-Nine.

"but he's just resurfaced, and he's rejoining the Nine-Nine."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What'd you do undercover?

"What'd you do undercover?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That is an A-list mobster. Tell me literally everything.

"That is an A-list mobster. Tell me literally everything."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, there's nothing funny about what I did

"Well, there's nothing funny about what I did"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I've had to learn not to blink,

"I've had to learn not to blink,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ooh, dark.

"Ooh, dark."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But how do you keep your eyes moist?

"But how do you keep your eyes moist?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Actually, I have

"Actually, I have"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Come on...

"Come on..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Nope.

"Nope."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He's like a real life Donnie Brasco.

"He's like a real life Donnie Brasco."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Isn't Donnie Brasco a really sad movie that ends terribly?

"Isn't Donnie Brasco a really sad movie that ends terribly?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm not sure I want you working with Pimento.

"I'm not sure I want you working with Pimento."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No.

"No."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I figured out the best way

"I figured out the best way"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Stay out of his way, maybe buy him a drink,

"Stay out of his way, maybe buy him a drink,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm making him a goat stew.

"I'm making him a goat stew."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

or Terry's never gonna die!

"or Terry's never gonna die!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

There's no way we can clean this up by ourselves.

"There's no way we can clean this up by ourselves."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We're gonna need help.

"We're gonna need help."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You know what she's saying, man.

"You know what she's saying, man."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So we're supposed to come running to clean up your mess

"So we're supposed to come running to clean up your mess"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

How dare you try to steal our jobs.

"How dare you try to steal our jobs."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, you know the old saying,

"Well, you know the old saying,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You're a janitor. You should know that's not true.

"You're a janitor. You should know that's not true."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, that makes more sense with your tone.

"Okay, that makes more sense with your tone."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I only fly first class.

"I only fly first class."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, no, no. We're just gonna do a simple,

"Oh, no, no. We're just gonna do a simple,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

straightforward tour of the precinct

"straightforward tour of the precinct"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Are you sure?

"Are you sure?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I can be dynamic.

"I can be dynamic."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Exclamation point.

"Exclamation point."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, hey, Pimento.

"Hey, hey, Pimento."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey!

"Hey!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This is my desk, okay?

"This is my desk, okay?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

a B&E together; we're gonna be partners.

"a B&E together; we're gonna be partners."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Nope. I work alone.

"Nope. I work alone."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Tell me something you've never told another living soul.

"Tell me something you've never told another living soul."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ooh, here's one.

"Ooh, here's one."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

or you're carrying so many weapons in this jacket.

"or you're carrying so many weapons in this jacket."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Why, just because he keeps threatening to kill me

"Why, just because he keeps threatening to kill me"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Because I'm physically attracted to him.

"Because I'm physically attracted to him."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and when I was a kid,

"and when I was a kid,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Stripe? Are you crazy?

"Stripe? Are you crazy?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's gonna be fine.

"It's gonna be fine."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sorry if I surprised you.

"Sorry if I surprised you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, it was easy.

"Oh, it was easy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

came down the fire escape, jimmied the window open.

"came down the fire escape, jimmied the window open."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, I am now.

"Well, I am now."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I don't know who I am anymore.

"I don't know who I am anymore."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I shouldn't have come here.

"I shouldn't have come here."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"Paper or plastic?"

""Paper or plastic?""

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And I can bring you home, but you've got to trust me.

"And I can bring you home, but you've got to trust me."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay. Yeah.

"Okay. Yeah."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Can't argue with that logic. Mm-kay.

"Can't argue with that logic. Mm-kay."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and I have three kids under the age of four.

"and I have three kids under the age of four."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I live in a house of fluids.

"I live in a house of fluids."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and we're gonna tell Holt.

"and we're gonna tell Holt."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, well, I don't know if you noticed,

"Oh, well, I don't know if you noticed,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, yes, shattered windows, bones everywhere.

"Oh, yes, shattered windows, bones everywhere."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I've taken a sacred oath to protect this community,

"I've taken a sacred oath to protect this community,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So you're afraid of her, too, huh?

"So you're afraid of her, too, huh?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We're gonna need all your footage from the past week.

"We're gonna need all your footage from the past week."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ha-ha-ha. This is an amateur job.

"Ha-ha-ha. This is an amateur job."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That way you have guaranteed access to the safe,

"That way you have guaranteed access to the safe,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, right, we're cops. And don't worry, sir.

"Oh, right, we're cops. And don't worry, sir."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We're gonna catch these bastards,

"We're gonna catch these bastards,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- or my name isn't Paul Sneed. - Adrian Pimento.

"- or my name isn't Paul Sneed. - Adrian Pimento."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Adrian Pimento. So, what'd they take?

"Adrian Pimento. So, what'd they take?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, hey, hey, come on, man.

"Hey, hey, hey, come on, man."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look, I get it... you're still tense.

"Look, I get it... you're still tense."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"You know what, you can't tell me what to do,

""You know what, you can't tell me what to do,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Why are you buying a burner phone?

"Why are you buying a burner phone?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Cue smoke machine.

"Cue smoke machine."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but I need you to work with me.

"but I need you to work with me."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hee-yah, hee-yah.

"Hee-yah, hee-yah."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Pizzazz is who I am.

"Pizzazz is who I am."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's my favorite color. It's no-nonsense.

"It's my favorite color. It's no-nonsense."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He secretly bought a burner phone,

"He secretly bought a burner phone,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, here he comes.

"Oh, here he comes."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I use them all the time when I make jewelry.

"I use them all the time when I make jewelry."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right, but be careful.

"All right, but be careful."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We're cool, we're cool.

"We're cool, we're cool."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Rosa.

"Rosa."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It is?

"It is?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Send a pic. Bye.

"Send a pic. Bye."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, guess we're done talking.

"Okay, guess we're done talking."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, they still haven't cleaned up in there,

"Well, they still haven't cleaned up in there,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Boom. - Not so fast.

"- Boom. - Not so fast."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That room gets clean when I say it gets cleaned.

"That room gets clean when I say it gets cleaned."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You can't stop us now.

"You can't stop us now."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You ever heard the old saying,

"You ever heard the old saying,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What the hell, Boyle?

"What the hell, Boyle?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hmm?

"Hmm?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Mop-Bucket? - Scully, don't guess.

"- Mop-Bucket? - Scully, don't guess."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

"Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"Mop-Bucket," Scully?

""Mop-Bucket," Scully?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

in his window ever since.

"in his window ever since."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Mm-hmm. - Okay.

"- Mm-hmm. - Okay."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

My mom pays for roadside assistance.

"My mom pays for roadside assistance."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right, let's go again. Action Holt!

"All right, let's go again. Action Holt!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The hell is this?

"The hell is this?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The key is to invent a backstory for your character.

"The key is to invent a backstory for your character."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Now, my Raymond Holt is addicted to pills, but no one knows.

"Now, my Raymond Holt is addicted to pills, but no one knows."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

whereas you and Rosa just sort of flop around

"whereas you and Rosa just sort of flop around"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, well, well.

"Well, well, well."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Adrian, what a coincidence bumping into you here.

"Adrian, what a coincidence bumping into you here."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, see you tomorrow.

"Well, see you tomorrow."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Pimento's still in the windo.

"Pimento's still in the windo."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

to wear a fake beard and do tai chi in my window?

"to wear a fake beard and do tai chi in my window?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And plus, you seriously thought that was me?

"And plus, you seriously thought that was me?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I mean, you've seen me in my underpants.

"I mean, you've seen me in my underpants."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I can't believe you're still working for Figgis.

"I can't believe you're still working for Figgis."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's why you've been acting so weird.

"That's why you've been acting so weird."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- at my home. - Okay.

"- at my home. - Okay."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

A bunch of old family photos and personal belongings.

"A bunch of old family photos and personal belongings."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I know you have a gun on me.

"I know you have a gun on me."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I went through the exact same thing when I came back...

"I went through the exact same thing when I came back..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You know what?

"You know what?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

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