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Clips from The Office - Branch Closing (S03E03)

"You'll find something else and..."
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"Actually, Bob Vance bought out the warehouse."
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"So he's keeping on the whole crew, so we're good."
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"This is my house."
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"The CFO's taking away my house and giving it to Josh."
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"And Josh is giving the garage to Bob Vance."
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"All right. Listen up."
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"Some of you may have heard some rumors about the branch closing."
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"Like when you said the branch was closing?"
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"But I am not going to take this lying down."
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"I have a plan, and I am going to save our jobs,"
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"so just hang in there."
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"Let's go. Yes!"
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"Oh, good, you're bringing Dwight."
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"Yes. This might get ugly and we need backup."
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"What's the plan?"
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"We go to New York, confront the CFO."
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"Show him he's making a mistake, save the branch."
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"Can I drive? No way."
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"Shotgun! No, there's no one else."
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"Still..."
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"Thank you very much."
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"and won't be coming back into the office."
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"Okay. Okay."
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"But do not worry. I have his home address right here."
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"Christmas card list."
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"You send him cards? You've never met him."
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"But when I do, we'll have something to talk about."
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"I know it's not definite or whatever,"
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"but do you know who's coming over here from Scranton?"
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"I honestly don't... I don't know."
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"Okay, so is it like Sales or accountants or..."
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"You know what, Jim? I wouldn't worry about it."
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"What does that mean?"
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"Hi! JOSH: Jan, hey."
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"Oh, good, you're both here. Ready to talk logistics?"
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"but I'm gonna go someplace else, and you're gonna go someplace else."
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"This kind of worked out perfectly for me."
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"Michael's gonna write me a great recommendation."
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"And as far as me and Kelly goes,"
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"I think it's for the best."
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"Okay! This is it!"
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"This is exactly what Michael Moore does. Famous documentarian."
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"He goes up to people with a camera"
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"and he's like, "Why did you do this? Why did you pollute?"
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""You are bad, you're a bad person." It's very dramatic."
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"Although I can't say I was a big fan of Bowling for Columbine."
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"Because I thought it was gonna be a bowling movie, like Kingpin."
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"So Josh will be running what is now called Dunder Mifflin Northeast,"
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"which is all the offices north of Stamford."
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"Wow! Sure, absolutely. Awesome."
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"Excuse me, Jan, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to stop you there."
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"I will not be taking the job."
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"What... Excuse me... Why not?"
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"You leveraged your new position with us into another offer?"
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"Damn it, Josh, this whole restructuring thing"
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"was based around keeping you. I..."
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"I'm sorry, all right. It's done. It's done."
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"Say what you will about Michael Scott, but he would never do that."
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"Okay. All visible points of access are covered."
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"I will improvise. I will speak from the heart."
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"No. Bad idea. You need an attack plan."
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"Here, I'll be him, you be you. Let's practice."
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"Okay. All right."
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"Coming home from work. Excuse me! Mr. Wallace?"
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"David Wallace? Yes. What is the meaning of this?"
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"Can you tell us why you are shutting down Scranton"
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"and putting 15 people out of work?"
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"Well, the branch is no longer financially viable."
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"It's simple dollars and cents."
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"Yes, but these are employees, sir. These are human beings."
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"It's no longer financially viable. We're losing money, okay?"
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"It's not a charity, it's a business. And it's a dying business."
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"Look, the whole business model"
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"of the small, regional paper company simply doesn't make sense anymore."
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"Stop. Stop it, just... Okay, he's not gonna say any of that."
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"Let's start again. Just be more scared of me, okay?"
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"Don't touch me this time."
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"(SCATTING)"
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"Excuse me, Mr. Wallace? Coming home from work."
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"Pam, would you please sign my company directory."
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"Are you serious?"
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"Sure."
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""Kelly. Best wishes. Love, Pam.""
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""P.S."
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"So, we are still scrambling here,"
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"And I know that you just left there a couple months ago,"
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"but we would like to offer you the number two position at that branch."
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"Thank you. Yeah."
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"No, it's just I'm not sure if I..."
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"Michael."
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"No! No, no, just some personal stuff."
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"And I'm not really ready to revisit that, I don't think."
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"And call me, we will do whatever we can to get you to stay."
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"Okay."
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"Hey, Meredith, how're you holding up? I'm fine."
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"Hey, did we ever have a conversation"
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"about doing something on the last day of work?"
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"Does that ring a bell?"
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"No. I don't think so."
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"Do you remember hearing a rumor about me and anybody, last day of work..."
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"Something sexual?"
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"No."
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"I'm kind of okay with it, actually."
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"Oh, that's good. That's great."
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"Do you know what you're going to do then?"
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"Well, you know, I've got art school."
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"Oh, that's... Yeah, of course. You should totally do that."
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"That's a great idea."
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"That's awesome."
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"Well, cool."
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"I'm glad you're doing that."
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"You can learn a great deal about a man from his trash."
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"Case in point."
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"Satellite TV bill."
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"Was he enjoying a delicious, hot beverage?"
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"Or disguising the scent of cocaine from drug-sniffing dogs?"
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"It's a nice house."
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"Hey, guys, I'm trying to organize a little group lunch for everybody"
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"since, you know, we're never gonna see each other again."
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