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Clips from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - Josh Is Going to Hawaii! (S01E01)

"And now that Valencia says"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"that it's cool for me and Josh to hang out, you know,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I thought I would learn, so he and I could, like, chill and skate and hang."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"All right, well, when are you guys gonna chill,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"No, he hasn't contacted me, per se, but, you know..."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Pops up, diappears. It's hilarious."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh! Maybe this is him right now."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh, no. it's... it's not him. But it-it's, uh... it's Instagram."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"A vacation in wine country. How lovely."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh, good God. The boobs, the abs, the hair."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"No. She never even had an awkward phase."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"And believe me, I've checked all of her Facebook albums. There are 180 of them."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh, okay. Well, you stop looking at that, 'cause that's not healthy."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"_"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Ugh! This is the fifth time she's called today."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- I really should pick this up. No, don't. - No, no, no. You know what,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay, you don't know her. And if I don't answer,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"She's gonna keep calling me. She's like a stalker I used to live inside of."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Okay. Just give me the... phone. - Oh. Oh! Ninja!"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Hi, Mom! What's up?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Put me on video chat or whatever"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"you call it. I want to see your face."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Wait, are you calling me from Dr. Weinstein's office?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"UTI's under control?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I was reading"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"the Sunday Styles, and I saw that Audra Levine just got married..."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Good for Audra Levine."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Also, she got the promotion you didn't take."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Remember? The one you were too good for?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"So now basically she has the life you could have had,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Almost had,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"but ruined with all your ridiculous choices."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay. So nice talking to you, Mom."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I'm hanging up now."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"But thanks for the salt in the wound."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"At least it's kosher salt!"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"He delivered you."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay, screw your mom."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Screw Audra Levine."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay, you are doing just fine."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"No, I-I'm gonna go. I'm gonna call you later, okay?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"No, no, no, no. Let's do something to cheer you up."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Look, I have to pick up Brendan from therapy,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- but it's-it's right near the Dress Barn. - No."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Right near the dress barn ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Come on, you love the Dress Barn. - No. I'm goinna go."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I'm gonna go."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Hey, don't skate sad!"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Or maybe at all!"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Subject is approaching and appears dejected."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"And possibly undergoing cranial remolding."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Hey, Heath."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Name's Heather."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"But... so, how are you?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"And feel free to use specific words"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Like despondent or hopeless, or,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Uh, I'm having the worst day, dude."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"my feelings are pork rinds, whoopie pies,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"mac and cheese. Yeah, I'm going full-on Cathy cartoon."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Can you not do that?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Because we share a wall,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"and I don't want to hear you barf-crying later."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"when you're feeling this bad? And don't say get a tattoo"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"or piercing, because I'm afraid of needles."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Not hot. Gross."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Smoking. Naked."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Guy with a tiger?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"No. Come on."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I have standards."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Cartoon pic. Dead."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Weird choice. Oh, my god, is he actually dead?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- I think so. - Yeah, I mean, I did Tinder in New York."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Well, you shouldn't use it for dates."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"You should use it for sex."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"You're looking for someone to, like, pound the bad feelings out of you."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh. Okay."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Yeah, hot."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Okay, so this guy can - Yeah."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"meet you at a bar in 20 minutes."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- That's fast! - Mm-hmm."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Technology. Yeah. - Oh, my god. Okay."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay, can you come with me, because I'm scared."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Mm... okay."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"or maybe I won't wear any underwear,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"and that way he'll... he'll just, smell my pheromones."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Yeah, I would do a thong. - Okay."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Go for it."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Hi... Jason? I'm Rebecca."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Hi. - Oh, what are those?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Nah. Call of Duty: Black Ops 3. You should check out my YouTube channel."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- Yeah. - Come on."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Great."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"combined with poor impulse control."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Do you want to get weird?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Leave it."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Steppin' in the club, all those eyes on me ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ He got a tight-ass bod, big brown eyes ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Come on, cutie, get between my thighs ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Why don't we just call each other baby? ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ It'll be simpler ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Hey, sexy stranger, come back to my place ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Kiss me, baby, all over the place ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ And please don't be a murderer ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Let me get back to playin' with your thing ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Have... ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ You been tested for STDs? ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ STDs ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Then... ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Waited the three-month window and got ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Tested again? Just makin' sure ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Most people don't know about the window ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ And please don't harvest my kidney ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Don't give me that incredulous face ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Your balls smell so much worse than I feared ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ You haven't aired out those balls in hours ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Please go wash your balls in the shower, the bathroom ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Please don't steal anything on the way ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Don't steal ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Hello?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
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