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Clips from South Park - Towelie (S05E05)

"- All right, so where is it? - Where's what?"
South Park
"The base where you're from and where our Okama Gamesphere is."
South Park
"All right, that does it. Brake angrily, Kenny."
South Park
"Now, listen, Towelie, we've just about had it with you."
South Park
"- Well, calm down. - That's it."
South Park
"until we have our Okama Gamesphere back."
South Park
"That's my last jay, asshole."
South Park
"Oh, man, why is everyone riding me today? God damn it."
South Park
"Kevin? Don't forget to wrap the potato salad in aluminium foil."
South Park
"Kevin, is that you?"
South Park
"- Harris. Breach, bang and clear! - Hello?"
South Park
"- Oh, my God. Oh, no! Oh, my God! - All right, it's clear."
South Park
"- Oh, no! - It's clear!"
South Park
"- Get it. - What the..."
South Park
"- Throw it down. - Oh, all right,"
South Park
"have your way with me, if you must."
South Park
"- All right, let's go. - Where are you going?"
South Park
"This is where you came from?"
South Park
"I'm so high right now."
South Park
"I have no idea what's going on."
South Park
"Welcome home, Smart Towel RG-400."
South Park
"Hi. Is this where our Okama Gamesphere is?"
South Park
"We're missing out on some quality video game time right now."
South Park
"Thank you for bringing him to us, boys. You see, this is not an ordinary towel."
South Park
"He is the RG-400 Smart Towel,"
South Park
"designed with a computer chip inside the terry cloth."
South Park
"- We don't care. - You see, here at Tynacorp,"
South Park
"our goal was to make the perfect towel. A towel that would sense"
South Park
"how wet or dry the user's skin was and fluff itself accordingly."
South Park
"- Dude, we don't care. - Towelie was our greatest success."
South Park
"Smart enough to beat the average human at chess"
South Park
"and absorbent enough to soak up even the toughest spills."
South Park
"But then one day Towelie got high and just sort of wandered off."
South Park
"We don't care."
South Park
"Yes, your video game. I'm afraid that what we all experienced was a trap."
South Park
"They called you and said to bring the towel, and then they called us"
South Park
"and said they were bringing Towelie back."
South Park
"Their plan was to wipe us all out with one fell swoop."
South Park
"- Who's they? - Why, the military."
South Park
"You see, after Towelie got high and wandered off from here,"
South Park
"the military got a hold of him."
South Park
"- Don't care, don't care, don't care. - Towelie was at their base for months"
South Park
"as they tried to copy his TNA. But then one day Towelie got high"
South Park
"- And just sort of wandered off. Again. - God damn it."
South Park
"I'm afraid not."
South Park
"Because your Okama Gamesphere is at their base."
South Park
"Can you tell us where that is, please?"
South Park
"You mean to go right into their base? Of course."
South Park
"The entry code should still be in Towelie's memory banks."
South Park
"You could sneak him in there and recover his TNA. Great plan."
South Park
"Yes, tell me, Marine, did you accomplish your primary goal?"
South Park
"Sir, yes, sir. All towels have been destroyed."
South Park
"The Smart Towel is no doubt eliminated."
South Park
"And you're quite sure of this."
South Park
"Yes, sir, there isn't a towel left within 100 miles."
South Park
"So, perhaps, then, you can explain to me why we just got footage"
South Park
"of the towel returning to Tynacorp?"
South Park
"- We... - He must have outsmarted us, sir."
South Park
"We've got no other choice. Prepare to blow up all of Colorado."
South Park
"In a moment, we will be over the base. This is the only way in."
South Park
"Any attempts on ground would be easily spotted by guard posts."
South Park
"but only you have their security system in your memory banks."
South Park
"That's all right."
South Park
"The fate of the world is depending on you."
South Park
"We're not doing it for the world, we're doing it for our video game."
South Park
"- God, are you deaf? - All right, boys."
South Park
"When you drop from the plane, cover and roll."
South Park
"- Got it? - Yeah."
South Park
"If we can go in and get the Gamesphere in 30 minutes,"
South Park
"we could still be back at your house playing video games by midnight."
South Park
"So that'd be, what, like eight hours we could play before school?"
South Park
"All right, I think we go over there."
South Park
"Let's see. No."
South Park
"You just have no long-term memory 'cause you get high all the time."
South Park
"- Yeah, but you're a towel. - You're a towel."
South Park
"Just let me get high."
South Park
"I know I can remember if I get high."
South Park
"Hold on. Wait a second."
South Park
"- That's it. - That's it?"
South Park
"Won't you take me down to Funkytown"
South Park
"God damn it, I guess we're gonna have to climb the stupid fence."
South Park
"Let's look in here."
South Park
"Kill me. Kill me."
South Park
"- Oh, my God. No! - Well, well, well."
South Park
"- Look what the cat dragged in. - What are these things?"
South Park
"Genetic copies we tried to make with your TNA."
South Park
"- They didn't work too well, I'm afraid. - Kill me."
South Park
"Do you have our Okama Gamesphere?"
South Park
"You did very well to get the towel this far, boys."
South Park
"I wonder, what did they tell you at Tynacorp?"
South Park
"That the big, bad government wanted to genetically engineer"
South Park
"Towelie as a weapon?"
South Park
"Now let me tell you the real story."
South Park
"Yes, we've been trying to make our own genetic copies of the towel,"
South Park
"but only because we had to. You see, when we started spying on Tynacorp,"
South Park
"we discovered a certain terrifying secret."
South Park
"Go on. Ask him what terrifying secret."
South Park
"What terrifying secret?"
South Park
"That Tynacorp was making these towels in order to take over the world."
South Park
"We're never gonna play Okama Gamesphere again, are we?"
South Park
"Don't you see what genetically-enhanced smart towels"
South Park
"You get out of the shower and dry yourself off."
South Park
"But even after you're dry, the towel makes you more dry."
South Park
"It keeps getting you drier and drier."
South Park
"Can you imagine it? What it would feel like to be way, way too dry?"
South Park
"I'll tell you something. You don't want to know."
South Park
"You've been double-crossed by Tynacorp, kids."
South Park
"They set this all up to get you in here and take us down."
South Park
"- Go ahead. - No, wait."
South Park
"Perhaps now we can use their own towel against them."
South Park
"If these boys must return to Tynacorp,"
South Park
"then we will launch a sneak attack on Tynacorp as well. You boys can take"
South Park
"the towel to Tynacorp's central core,"
South Park
"and upload this encryption disc into their system,"
South Park
"bringing them down once and for all."
South Park
"- But we don't care. - What the hell is this?"
South Park
"The towel was supposed to go in there"
South Park
"and then run its own self-destruct sequence."
South Park
"We don't have the manpower to hold off the entire military"
South Park
"and stop those Wonder Boys from getting to the core."
South Park
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