Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from NewsRadio - Super Karate Monkey Death Car (S04E04)

"Oh, yeah."
NewsRadio
"has the office functioning at peak inefficiency."
NewsRadio
""Come hear Jimmy James read from his newly published memoirs..."
NewsRadio
"at Books Et Cetera." Books Et Cetera!"
NewsRadio
"What memoirs?"
NewsRadio
"Oh, well, maybe the title will refresh your memory."
NewsRadio
"Wait a minute. Didn't that come out years ago?"
NewsRadio
"Yeah, it did. Yeah, and didn't it--"
NewsRadio
"Bomb miserably? Yeah. That was the English-language version."
NewsRadio
"A few months ago I translated it into Japanese, and guess what."
NewsRadio
"So I got to thinkin', why not take the Japanese version..."
NewsRadio
"Mm-hmm. That seems to work well for VCR instruction manuals."
NewsRadio
"Exactly!"
NewsRadio
"So I'll see ya-- I'll see ya at the readin'."
NewsRadio
"Uh, I would love to, but I'm afraid I can't."
NewsRadio
"Your efficiency expert's making us all write some stupid test this afternoon."
NewsRadio
"I got a copy of the test."
NewsRadio
"Very funny, but if you don't wanna read it--"
NewsRadio
"It's a polygraph. A lie detector test?"
NewsRadio
"Yeah, if you wanna sound like an idiot."
NewsRadio
"Hiya, guys. Hey."
NewsRadio
"There is no curve. It's a polygraph."
NewsRadio
"Hey, Joe, tell Beth to get a lunch reservation for the entire staff, all right?"
NewsRadio
"[ Clicks Tongue ] Dude, I do everything secretly."
NewsRadio
"[ Door Opens, Closes ]"
NewsRadio
"Maybe they'll give out gold stars for honesty."
NewsRadio
"Gold stars are for babies."
NewsRadio
"Well, I don't know why, but I think if we're just prepared--"
NewsRadio
"Bonjour. Je m'appelle Matthew."
NewsRadio
"Welcome to Chez Jean-Jacques. Our specials--"
NewsRadio
"- Matthew? - Oh, my God! What are you guys doing here?"
NewsRadio
"It's not radio journalism, but it pays le rent."
NewsRadio
"- Can you get us free food? - You know, I would,"
NewsRadio
"Did you guys come back here to tell me I got my job back?"
NewsRadio
"I know. I was just kiddin'."
NewsRadio
"I'll be right back with your drinks. [ Dave ] All right."
NewsRadio
"Well, she can't really ask us questions like that, can she?"
NewsRadio
"I don't know. She's your buddy. She's not my buddy."
NewsRadio
"Wow, Larry from Payroll, we hardly knew ye."
NewsRadio
"Well, has anyone been arrested in the past year?"
NewsRadio
"Yeah, I heard that one before."
NewsRadio
"Well, you never gave me your order, did you? Well, uh--"
NewsRadio
"Look, those are kind of minor offenses."
NewsRadio
"And the rest of the stuff is out of our league."
NewsRadio
""Have you ever been convicted of a federal offense?"
NewsRadio
"Um, between the ages of 17 and 19, I was arrested seven times..."
NewsRadio
"and have spent, all told, two months in jail."
NewsRadio
"Seven times and two months in jail?"
NewsRadio
"Is anybody else turned on right now?"
NewsRadio
"I'm not. My car broke down and I was afraid I was gonna be late for the S.A.T.'s."
NewsRadio
"To vandalize it? No."
NewsRadio
"I had a big history exam the next day,"
NewsRadio
"Yeah, Bill's is. How's that steak, Bill?"
NewsRadio
"A tad overdone. [ Grunts ]"
NewsRadio
"- What about our food? - Guys, I'm sorry."
NewsRadio
"Um, breaking and entering."
NewsRadio
"- That's not a federal offense. - It is if you break into a post office."
NewsRadio
"It was a long holiday weekend and I hadn't even heard from my safety schools yet!"
NewsRadio
"Oh, yeah, lie on the lie detector test. That's a good plan."
NewsRadio
"- We all have to beat the test? - Can't be done."
NewsRadio
"- Just tell the kitchen we need our food wrapped to go. - Okay, sure."
NewsRadio
"Matthew, did you hear what I just said?"
NewsRadio
"I did, David. It's just you're talkin' to the wrong guy."
NewsRadio
"and I happened to notice that you came in here."
NewsRadio
"And I just-- I'm pretending to be a waiter,"
NewsRadio
"Need money for the steak? No, I got that."
NewsRadio
"Thank you, bud. Okay, I'll-I'll-I'll pack that up for you."
NewsRadio
"Beth? Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth?"
NewsRadio
"Matthew, please be patient. I'm doing my best. Well, I'm doing my part."
NewsRadio
"I know you are."
NewsRadio
"Where are those people going?"
NewsRadio
"See, you cannot fire me, for I do not work here."
NewsRadio
"Very good, Dave. Now the next-- Oh, hey, Lisa."
NewsRadio
"Yes, you. Hi, you!"
NewsRadio
"[ Lie Detector Buzzes ] That doesn't count. It's not really part of the--"
NewsRadio
"Uh-huh. "To your knowledge,"
NewsRadio
"Hmm."
NewsRadio
"Not that I'm aware of. [ Buzzes ]"
NewsRadio
"Okay, just relax, Dave. Are you sure?"
NewsRadio
"Honestly? Yes. [ Buzzes ]"
NewsRadio
"Well, the machine does not seem to agree."
NewsRadio
"All right. You've caught me. Yes, there is somebody in this office..."
NewsRadio
"Well, it was a little thing. It was a long time ago."
NewsRadio
"All right. I spray painted graffiti on the gymnasium by-- [ Buzzes ]"
NewsRadio
"You were saying you're a convicted shoplifter?"
NewsRadio
"Now, Dave, I bet you never even thought about shoplifting."
NewsRadio
"I have so thought about shop-- [ Buzzes ]"
NewsRadio
"Oh, aren't you the cutest thing? I am not the cutest thing!"
NewsRadio
"Where'd she go? Lisa's not feeling well, Andrea."
NewsRadio
"- I'll go next. - Excellent. Give me a sec. I'll set up."
NewsRadio
"and it slows all the metabolic processes down, so I'll be able to lie all I want to."
NewsRadio
"- How do you feel, Beth? - Okay."
NewsRadio
"Are you sure? Yeah. Why?"
NewsRadio
"Well, because your hand's in the coffeemaker."
NewsRadio
"Well, here goes nothin'."
NewsRadio
"[ Thuds ]"
NewsRadio
"They didn't finish printin' it till this morning, so--"
NewsRadio
"You haven't seen the book yet? No, not yet."
NewsRadio
"Uh--"
NewsRadio
"Uh, the original title of this book was..."
NewsRadio
"Jimmy James: Capitalist Lion Tamer,"
NewsRadio
"but I see now that it's..."
NewsRadio
"Jimmy James: Macho Business Donkey Wrestler."
NewsRadio
"which is the story of my first rise to financial prominence, so--"
NewsRadio
""But Jimmy has fear?"
NewsRadio
""A thousand times, no."
NewsRadio
""were girded with strength..."
NewsRadio
""and the opulence of buffalo..."
NewsRadio
"Comfy?"
NewsRadio
"Good."
NewsRadio
"Well, anyway, since we're friends and all, I thought..."
NewsRadio
"I'd just throw out all those serious questions and make this a real fun test."
NewsRadio
"So my question for you is,"
NewsRadio
"if you could be any kind of tree..."
NewsRadio
"in the whole world, what kind of tree--"
NewsRadio
"I stole a car!"
NewsRadio
"I mean, a sycamore tree."
NewsRadio
""Soon the super karate monkey death car would..."
NewsRadio
""park in my space."
NewsRadio
""The monkey clown horrible... karate,"
NewsRadio
Show more clips