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Clips from NewsRadio - Super Karate Monkey Death Car (S04E04)

""round and yummy like a cute, small baby chick,"
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"would beat the donkey.""
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"Mr. James will, uh-- will now answer any questions you might have."
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"Yeah, Mr. James, what did you mean when you wrote,"
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""Bad clown making like super American car racers,"
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"Well, you know-- you know, what it's-it's like-- [ Clears Throat ]"
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"when a clown is-is making..."
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"like a car... racer."
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"It's sort of like... the F.C.C."
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"It's sort of-- Yeah, the clown, all right?"
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"The clown is-is like the F.C.C., and I was opposed to the F.C.C. at the time."
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"So it was like I was declaring war."
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"Well, I guess that's about it. Yeah?"
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"Yeah, it did. Thanks a lot."
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"Yeah, one more question."
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"What did you mean when you said, "Feel my skills, donkey, donkey, donkey, donkey, donkey"?"
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"Oh, and assaulting a police officer, which is not as bad as it sounds."
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"Harold, could you, um, give us a few minutes?"
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"I can tender my resignation, if that makes things easier."
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"No. Don't be silly."
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"I think your honesty has been really, really super."
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"Well, I pride myself on really super honesty."
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"And, uh, let's just say-- [ Clears Throat ]"
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"you're not the only one in this room who's, uh, broken the law before."
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"Really? Well, yeah."
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"Oh, we're all fascinated by fire when we're younger, so--"
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"Um, you didn't hurt anybody or--"
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"We all have things we're embarrassed about. Right."
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"I mean, you're a convicted felon. [ Laughs ]"
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"Yeah, but at least I didn't burn anybody's house down."
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"I mean, not that that's a bad thing. It's just, um--"
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"Hey, pal, how 'bout a hug? [ Clicks Tongue ]"
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"if we want to get Mr. Nelson back to New York in time for work."
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"This is the country that appreciates good livin'. Yes, sir."
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"Hey, Dave, maybe I should do a reading here-- Jimmy James live at Budokan."
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"I think maybe you should."
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"- Well, who's gonna play Bill? - I will. I wasn't paying attention anyway."
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"where I can get to know each one of you and what you do around here and how well you do it."
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"Now that sounds like a fun test."
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"Well, you and Andrea are friends."
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"Uh, where'd that picture of your mom go?"
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"If medicine tasted good, I'd be pourin' cough syrup on my pancakes."
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"Jimmy James: Capitalist Lion Tamer."
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"Most of these questions are pretty harmless,"
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"She can ask us anything she wants. Andrea fired that guy Larry from Payroll last week..."
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"Matthew, these glasses are empty."
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"Matthew, isn't any of our food ready?"
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"You know, maybe you can just lie on the test."
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"Well, unfortunately, even if that worked, it wouldn't be enough for Lisa to lie."
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"- We'd all have to lie for her. - What?"
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"I'm sorry. I just-- You know, I was following you guys..."
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"'cause I just wanna be with you guys."
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"Oh, no, no, gentle sir."
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"No, no. So I'm sure this next question is a mere formality."
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"Ha!"
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"Dave? Huh?"
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"[ Buzzes ] Andrea, could I borrow Dave for a second?"
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"Yeah, sure. I guess I can let old Scarface here go with just a warning."
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"How come you're so calm?"
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"I had the book translated into Japanese, then back again into English,"
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"Well, there you go. It's got kind of a ring to it, don't it?"
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""Many days, no business comes to my hut-- my hut."
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"dung.""
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""But Jimmy has fancy plans,"
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""and pants to match."
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"Arson. Arson?"
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"Okay, well, um, I think I'm just gonna-- I'm gonna get going."
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"All right then, everyone. If no one else has anything to add, um--"
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""for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels..."
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"Uh-huh."
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""Have you ever been convicted of three or more misdemeanors?"
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"You stole a car?"
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"What's the, uh, delay? I'm waitin' for the book to get here."
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""like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat..."
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"And so then they got me for resisting arrest."
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"Lisa, you're next."
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""I had a small house of brokerage on Wall Street."
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"Okay, I'll see ya. I'm hopeless."
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"What? You're fired."
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"Hey, what's goin' on?"
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"A polygraph test? Why?"
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"Where are we gonna eat lunch now? Well, there's a place--"
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"Well, then unless anybody else has anything, then, uh--"
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"will now read from his book,"
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"And then when I was 17 I stole a car--"
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"Right. No, I understand."
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"All right."
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"Dave, I'm not an idiot."
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"You can pull the ignition wires and cross 'em without any cosmetic damage at all."
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"Lisa, I just don't see you as the joyriding type."
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"Uh, no."
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"Le "kitcheone" is a little backed up today."
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"Because I... don't really work here."
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"Didn't you commit any crimes that weren't S.A.T. related?"
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"Dave, this is a little hard for me to admit,"
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"Uh, Matthew, honey, you can't be fired twice."
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"Whoa, it's good stuff. It's good stuff."
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""Macho Business Donkey... Wrestler.""
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"Oh, thanks."
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"So, then did the American yum-yum clown monkey..."
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"Jimmy James: Macho Business Donkey Wrestler."
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"[ Imitating Fire Crackling ] You know?"
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"I don't think Margaux Hemingway ever gave a reading that went that badly."
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"Um,"
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"Dave."
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"Beautiful country. Yeah, and this is just the airport."
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"Ohh!"
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"do you think Ernest Hemingway ever gave a reading that went that badly?"
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"Sorry to keep you folks waiting, but the books just got here."
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"Oh, no, no, no. I really am."
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"Next time we should stay longer. Mm-hmm."
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"Is your résumé completely accurate?" What kind of test is this?"
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"Of course I wanna read it."
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"I was young. I made some mistakes."
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"Get outta here."
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"Dave, you know what? I've gotta-- What?"
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"When am I gonna get my job back? Really, I'm startin' to go stir-crazy here."
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"Lisa? Joe, bye."
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"Unfortunately, that's precisely why you were fired in the first place."
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"Mm-hmm. [ Buzzes ]"
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