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Clips from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - Josh's Girlfriend Is Really Cool! (S01E01)

"The last time I had a solid crew was in high school,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"but then they all got jealous"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"because I got these amazing boobs"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"and they were still trolls,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"and so they spread all these rumors that I, like,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"slept with the English teacher."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"No. I know."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"And then everyone turned on me,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Although, um, it-it's really cool,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Did you report it to the appropriate authorities?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"it's technically a little bit of statutory rape."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Do you know if he went to jail?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh, my God, you're amazing, you're so nice."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I thought you just only wanted to do real estate stuff with me,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"but we're friends."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"We're friends, right?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Yeah, we're friends."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Yeah, 'cause, I mean, like,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"what other agenda could I possibly have?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"That is such a weird thing to say."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Aah! Yeah."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(both laugh, sigh)"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh, she's like me, except for..."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Excuse me, just one second."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Now, uh, in case you missed it, that was me vomiting."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"What's wrong with you?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"'Cause, like, I've made a really cool friend."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"She's, like, pretty and nice,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"and she knows about, like, a lot of cool things,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"like coconut oil and movies and Vampire Weekends."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Like, what's your deal?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"We had a plan... uh, neutralize the enemy, not snuggle it."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"No, we didn't have a plan."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"You had a plan, I'm making a friend."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(scoffs) I am not jealous."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I'm not saying this for me, I'm saying this for you,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"This is unhealthy."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay, all right."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"You need to take some Motrin or something."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh, you know, I have never met anyone in my life"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"who lies to themselves as much as you do."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"You lie about why you came here,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"You lie about how you feel about Josh."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay, okay, that's enough! God!"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"with these stupid clients."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"So we heard most of that."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"on your faces."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I'm so sorry."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Paula and I were just having a little disagreement out there."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"It has nothing to do with you."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"It will not happen again."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"You know that was very inappropriate what we overheard."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(cell phone chimes) I understand. One sec..."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(whoops) Going to Spiders."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Which seems to be possessive plural."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Did I mention that I got Robertson"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"to agree to an arbitration next week?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Should have led with that. Sorry."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"How did you do that?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Uh, we've been trying to do that for years."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"that they were impeding commercial development,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"and that they would be liable for interest or extra costs."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Build the $10 million complex downtown you have always wanted"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"in your little heart of hearts,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"and I am going to a super cool nightclub."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay, all right, one, two, three."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(phone rings)"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"What?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"MAN: Uh, Mom, I stabbed Tommy."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Uh, kind of."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"But, uh, he's sort of bleeding."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Yeah."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"It's hugging my throat."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(laughs) Don't you just love her, Joshy?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Don't you just want to put her"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(imitates noshing)"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I want to see you work that thang."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"What's up with your resting Maggie Smith face?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"What is this?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"No, the thing where you copy another girl's outfit."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I'm not copying her."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I'm just heavily influenced by her,"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"before he created the Cubist movement."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Anyway, can I get you a drink?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Um..."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"How many bras are you wearing, by the way?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(sighs) Come on, you crazy kids, let's dance."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"It's the buff Asian dude, right?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"No, he's not my ex."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"I... I was just talk... I was just talking..."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh, you're still bummed he's with that other girl."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Oh, next week we're having a sale on clementines."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Wait a second."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Okay, so nobody knows."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(scoffs) I am so stupid."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"- When did you date? In New York? - It's complicated."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(scoffs) No, something with you is complicated?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Why so serious?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Come on, dance with Greg."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Dance with Greg."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Get away from me."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"She-she wants me to dance with you."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"You do everything she says?"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"No."
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"(whooping)"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ You're everything that I wish I could be ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ I want to lock you in a basement with soundproof walls ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ I want to cut the silky hair right off your head ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ 'Cause I-I-I-I... I'm feeling kinda naughty tonight ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ I meant to say I want to do cutesy stuff ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ But then also have you see me in the dress ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ But in that basement you would also be my personal trainer ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ And turn them into my new retainer ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ I want your smile ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Dry your sweat into a powder ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ And do lines of you all through the night ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Take measurements of your body ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ Then go up to a surgeon ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"♪ 'Cause I'm feeling kind of naughty tonight. ♪"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
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