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Clips from South Park - Tsst (S10E10)

"his ways are not going to be tolerated any more."
South Park
"Mom, are you deaf?"
South Park
"Somebody's at the door."
South Park
"Yes, I think it's the nanny, poopsiekins."
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"Hello. I'm Nanny Stella."
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"Oh, thank you so much for coming. Please come in."
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"- Mom, I want a Twinkie. - Oh, all right, dear."
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"Hold on, Mrs. Cartman."
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"First of all, no video games until chores are done."
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"I'm serious."
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"Let's put down the video game and go to the kitchen."
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"No, thanks, I'd rather not."
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"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
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"Come on."
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"Now, first thing we're going to do is make your bed."
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"Eric, no. This is not acceptable."
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"All right, that's it."
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"You're going to time out."
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"Time out?"
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"you are going to sit on this stool for five minutes."
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"And what exactly keeps me on the stool?"
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"It's the time-out stool,"
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"you can't get down until the time is up."
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"How did I do that?"
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"Eric, you have to stay in time out."
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"Come on, you don't have a choice."
South Park
"This is very important."
South Park
"I'm getting down to eye level with Eric so that I can talk to him on his level."
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"Eric, you need to understand why you are being punished, all right?"
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"I'm just going to get down as soon as you move."
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"Well, then, I'll just have to stand right here."
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"He spit in my mouth!"
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"Yeah, it's best to avoid his level."
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"We just need to use psychology on him."
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"Don't stop believing"
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"Hold on to that feeling"
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"Eric, can I just talk to you for a quick second?"
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"Why are you so angry?"
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"Is this about more than your video game?"
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"Are you feeling angry at me because you think I'm here to change your life?"
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"Well, yeah."
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"And you're feeling like I have no right to come in and tell you how to live."
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"Yeah, I guess so."
South Park
"See this?"
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"Well, I'm feeling confused."
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"Me?"
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"Like you."
South Park
"Right, but if you love children so much, how come you're not a mommy?"
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"Why not?"
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"It just didn't happen."
South Park
"You're sterile, is that it?"
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"No, that's too convenient of an excuse."
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"The truth is nobody ever wanted to have babies with you, isn't that it?"
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"Always the mom's maid, never the mom."
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"Must be hard on you."
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"And all the while your uterus slowly shrivelling away,"
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"drying up, becoming totally worthless."
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"Why, you..."
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"You little bastard!"
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"How dare you?"
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"Eric, naughty."
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"What kind of monster would..."
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"Yes. Let the anger come. Strike me down while you can."
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"Oh, but we really need some help."
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"Find yourself another nanny"
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"television show."
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"Coming up next, it's Super Nanny."
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"Where other nannies fail, Nanny Jo comes through."
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"But there's no child too tough for Super Nanny."
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"In just three days' time, you're going to see a new Eric Cartman."
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"I'm afraid Super Nanny is in a deep state of mental psychosis."
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"What do you mean?"
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"From hell. It's from hell!"
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"Oh, dear. I don't know what else to do about my son's behavioural problems."
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"We've been through every nanny reality show on television."
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"Well, there is one more show you could still try."
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"No dog is too much for me to handle."
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"I rehabilitate dogs, I train people."
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"Please come in."
South Park
"So, tell me what are the problems you're having with the child."
South Park
"Well, he's just out of control."
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"I mean, he never listens to me and he pretty much runs my life."
South Park
"So the child needs to learn"
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"that he's not the most important person in the house."
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"You can stop talking behind my back, I'm right here, fruitcake."
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"See how I'm not looking at the child, I'm not acknowledging the child,"
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"Not interested in me?"
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"See, the child thinks your world revolves around him."
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"Because it does."
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"Because everything he does gets a response from you."
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"Yeah, well, I don't see why..."
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"Don't look at the child, just keep looking at me."
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"- Mom, this guy doesn't... Quit it. - What is that you're doing?"
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"Dogs show their dominance by nipping each other on the neck."
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"But it works equally well on the child."
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"I just use two fingers, nip at the child's neck."
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"Doesn't hurt the child, just let him know I am dominant."
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"Look, Mexican, if you really think that you can... Knock it off!"
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"See, I'm not validating his bad behaviour"
South Park
"with either a negative or a positive response."
South Park
"Oh, that's very interesting."
South Park
"He's fat and he has all this pent-up energy..."
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"- Do you take walks with your son? - Well, no, I don't."
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"Come on, let's take your son for a walk."
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"Hey! You think this is funny, you son of a bitch?"
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"This is about me, the child is lucky enough to come along."
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"Mom, this is degrading!"
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"God damn it!"
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"Don't look at him. Just look straight ahead."
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"He'll run out of energy soon."
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"Mom! Mom!"
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"Here, why don't you try it now? Take your son."
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"Good, just keep your confidence, shoulders back, eyes straight ahead."
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"The child can pick up on that confidence,"
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"learn he's suppose to follow you, not lead you."
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"Mom!"
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"Good, Ms. Cartman. Very good."
South Park
"And now back to the Dog Whisperer."
South Park
"It is important to understand that dogs run in packs."
South Park
"And one dog is always dominant, the pack leader."
South Park
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