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Clips from South Park - Tweek vs. Craig (S03E03)

"This is Shop class."
South Park
"For the next week, rather than your normal schoolwork,"
South Park
"you'll be learning how to make things."
South Park
"Most of you, however, will be pumping gas,"
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"Now, let me make one thing crystal clear."
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"you could lose a hand or an eye."
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"Yeah, you are, Tweek. You always get in trouble."
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"that are lacy and pretty."
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"- Yes, Wendy. - I requested to be in Shop class,"
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"- but they sent me here. - That's right, Wendy."
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"But all of you pretty ones won't have to worry about that"
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"I wonder why Kenny didn't want to take Shop class."
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"Craig, can I talk to you real quick? Just a second, please, Craig."
South Park
"Craig, I'm not normally one to get involved in this kind of thing, but,"
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"- He did? - Yeah. He said you eat poop,"
South Park
"I don't know, Craig. I don't know. But now he's over there,"
South Park
"telling everybody that you're a poop-eater, and he chooses you."
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"- Well, I'm gonna go over there and... - No, no, Craig."
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"Tell you what. I'll go tell him you accept his challenge,"
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"- He's really got it out for you, dude. - Why? What did I do?"
South Park
"Merry Christmas, Richard."
South Park
"- Well, sure. Class dismissed. - Come on, you guys."
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"- He's gonna get his ass kicked. - We'll see."
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"Our little Home Economics friend, Kenny."
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"- Yeah, that's not cool, dude. - Bye, Kenny. See you tomorrow."
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"- Hell. - Those sons of bitches!"
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"- I guess they don't wanna fight. - Oh, they wanna fight."
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"- Tweek! - Tweek!"
South Park
"What do you guys want?"
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""He's a big wuss, and he has crooked teeth.""
South Park
"Okay."
South Park
"Craig, what the hell are you doing home?"
South Park
"I guess you don't care what Tweek said about your guinea pig."
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"What? What did he say about Stripe?"
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"That son of a bitch! I'll kill him!"
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"Dad, if some kid at school wants to fight me,"
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"what should I do?"
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"there were a lot of guys who were after your mother."
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"And so, one day, he challenged me to a fight."
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"- Oh. - Don't just "Oh" him, Thomas!"
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"Well, that was fun, Pearl. See ya later."
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"- Why? - Well, I thought maybe"
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"you would at least attempt to make love to me tonight."
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"Swing me, Richard, swing me higher."
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"Oh, God! What am I gonna do?"
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"out by the tetherball pole at 3:30."
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"However long Craig wants it to last."
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"Fat..."
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"It means he doesn't spend a lot, and worse yet, it could be a debit card."
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"If he has more than four credit cards, that's a little fishy."
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"That's more than 10 bucks, you stupid fat ass!"
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"Swing me, Richard, swing me higher."
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"But you have to come see me fly tomorrow, Richard."
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"I have a surprise for you. Don't worry, Richard. I'm a pilot."
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"- Mr. Adler. Mr. Adler! - What?"
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"with the belt sander, didn't I?"
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"What? Hey! Go on. You're screwing around in here."
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"Oh, cool!"
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"Stay pissed, Tweek. Stay pissed. All right. Here we go."
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"You're gonna be eating those words, asshole."
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"No, I won't. Because you'd eat them first, tubby."
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"Yeah, if you're gonna do it, do it!"
South Park
"- Well, not like that! - Like what, then?"
South Park
"Well, I don't think that's very fair. If I teach Craig,"
South Park
"Fine, we'll see you back here tomorrow."
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"- until a grenade blew his arm off. - I can still kick ass."
South Park
"Now, Tweek. Boxing is a man's sport. There is nothing in the world"
South Park
"So when you spar with Ned here,"
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"- He's only got one arm. - All right. Looks like we'll have to"
South Park
"apply the Oppenheimer technique with Tweek, here."
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"- What you got, biatch? - Punch him in the balls, Tweek!"
South Park
"Good! Now kick his balls!"
South Park
"The object is simply to push opponent out of circle."
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"Dude, come on now. Come on."
South Park
"- How could I resist an ass so great? - It is only an ass."
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"This ass is not like any I've encountered, Master."
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"No, no, make it stop."
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"Don't worry, Richard. I'm a pilot!"
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"Watch me, Richard!"
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"Now, let's try this one together."
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"Honey, can I get a new wardrobe?"
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"in the future are very, well, good."
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"Okay, okay."
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"Respect my authority."
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"- Come on, Tweek! - Come on, Craig!"
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"To whom it may concern. I can no longer live without her."
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"I could not say goodbye to her, and so now,"
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"Come on, Craig, come on, kick his ass!"
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"Yeah."
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"- What the... - Here they are!"
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"- Hey, what's going on? - Tweek and Craig are fighting."
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"'Cause I got 10 bucks riding on it."
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"- that really matters, not how we left it. - You... You're right. You're right!"
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"- You never said goodbye to me, either. - Hey, Richie, remember me?"
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"Uncle Corey! Wow! You're all alive again."
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"I love you, Richard. See you soon."
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"Thank you. Thank you for freeing me. I feel like now I can move on."
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"Thank you, baby, thank you."
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"Well, we just came by because we have something to tell you."
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"Yeah. See, we got you to fight just 'cause we wanted"
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"to see who was the toughest. We made up all that stuff we said"
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"We just came by to apologize. We feel so bad."
South Park
"- Boy, do we ever. - So, I guess we'll be going now."
South Park
"And we'll just live with the knowledge that you're both kinda sissies."
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"Tweek's family was on the news saying what a wuss you are, Craig."
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"And then punched Tweek's mom in the hooters."
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"Sumo technique, Craig. Sumo technique."
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"My name is Mr. Adler."
South Park
"Now, does anybody know why you are in Shop class?"
South Park
"between this and Home Ec, and we didn't wanna be sissies?"
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"You may someday be doctors, or lawyers, or scientists."
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"or cutting sheet metal. And that's why we have Shop class."
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"I have a... I have... I have a..."
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"who is the biggest troublemaker in your class?"
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"- Tweek is! - No, I'm not."
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"Hello, excuse me, but Craig is the biggest troublemaker in our class."
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"- That true, Craig? You a troublemaker? - No."
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"- Yes, you did! - Told ya!"
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"Dude, Shop class sucks. Maybe we should've taken Home Ec."
South Park
"Welcome to Home Ec. For the next week,"
South Park
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