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Clips from The Office - The Boat (S09E09)

"Mike, I'm not a day trader."
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"Andy's family had a total meltdown."
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"His dad blew through all their money"
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"and took off to Argentina with a younger woman."
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"And his brother, Walt Jr.,"
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"The aftermath got dumped on him,"
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"and the way he's been handling it is just so--"
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"Are the nards hurtin'? Yeah, you bet."
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"Got kicked pretty hard."
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"Family shattered, super sad."
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"But I'm kinda crushin' it"
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"Of course, he caused this whole mess, so..."
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"Kevin, listen to me."
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"And I need time to sort this out"
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"in a responsible manner."
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"So I need your help in keeping it a secret,"
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"because this means the world to me."
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"Okay?"
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"Can you do this, Kevin?"
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"Whatever happens, always remember that."
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"Oh, great."
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"Yeah, um, I'll get right back to you."
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"Yeah, she hosts the Dr. Laura show."
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"Nope, that's Dr. Laura."
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"Well, her show Bizwhiz"
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"wants someone from Dunder Mifflin"
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"about local business issues?"
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"I do. I do. I do. I do. I do."
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"The media can make you famous."
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"to sell something when you're famous?"
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""Uh, yeah, wow."
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"Yeah. He's in rehab, actually."
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"Oh."
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"Greta the tittle-tattle prattled on"
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"about the little metal bottle."
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"- Oh, my God. - She spat a bit of spittle--"
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"In a bitter battle-- Hey, hey."
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"Stop questioning my methods, okay?"
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"All right, guys, there's a lot of assets here"
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"that my dad couldn't steal."
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"Now, first of all, there is the family boat,"
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"a 43-foot Tartan sloop."
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"My lawyer has lined up a buyer in the Bahamas."
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"The sale would cover the cost of a condo"
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"- Sounds great. - Perfect."
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"Totally, except it is a no-go."
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"Yeah, I think this day could get worse."
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"- What does that mean? - Kevin."
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"60 packages of ramen noodles for 5 bucks."
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"If we sell everything but the boat,"
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"your mom should be set for about six months."
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"Guys, you don't understand."
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"Yeah, don't you guys have that place"
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"where you used to spend your summers"
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"I bet you wouldn't sell that Jiffy Lube"
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"for all the money in the world, would you, Darryl?"
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"I would if I owned it and I went broke."
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"but we need the money."
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"Got the memories, don't need the boat."
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"What are you gonna do? Cry about it?"
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"Oh, okay. No problem."
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"The interview's off."
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"so he can stop being such a complete nipple?"
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"Yes, he is. And you know what?"
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"We cannot let that happen."
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"but it's a girlfriend's job to know her man,"
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"and I know Andy."
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"He is seriously juvenile."
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"Cool."
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"He's, like, 40, though, right?"
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"Oh, no."
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"Awesome. Have fun."
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"Dunder Mifflin. Dunder Mifflin."
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"Good, sounds--"
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"And welcome back to Bizwhiz."
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"I'm Iris Black."
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"On the line, we have Dunder Mifflin"
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"senior sales associate Dwight Schrute."
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"Iris, thank you so much for having me."
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"Did you need something?"
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"Okay."
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"Kevin, we're out of 1138 forms."
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"Literally nothing you could do could surprise me anymore."
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"Oh, really, Angela?"
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"I have to go to the bathroom."
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"That doesn't surprise me."
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"That actually wasn't the worst cover."
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"I'd say at least once a week, Kevin runs out of the room,"
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"shouting that he has to go to the bathroom."
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"Oh! I have to go to the bathroom!"
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"with a super fun girlfriend?"
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"All I ever wanted to do was sail the damn thing."
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"He said, "you can't be a skipper until you're a man.""
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"You know, I'd reach for the wheel,"
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"and we're selling the damn thing."
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"So I'm never gonna have the chance."
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"Well, when does the boat leave, exactly?"
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"Then screw lunch. Let's go for a sunset sail."
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"Yeah, right. It's in Stamford, Connecticut."
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"We'd have to leave, like, right now."
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"Okay, well, then let's leave, like, right now."
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"Yeah, okay."
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"Yeah, okay. Let's go."
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"Seriously?"
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"- All right. - All right."
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"- Let's do it. - Let's do it."
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"Iris, let me tell you, David Wallace is the CEO,"
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"So the day-to-day operations are entirely under your command?"
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"Entirely is the perfect way to describe it, Iris."
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"Uh, excuse me, I'm being told by my sound engineer Steve"
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"that, uh, there is a clinking sound"
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"coming from your end."
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"Does your shirt have buttons?"
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"I'm so sorry, we are going to have to ask you"
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"to remove the shirt altogether."
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"We were saying, when my workers gather--"
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"Oh, I'm so sorry."
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"I am told we are still having problems, Mr. Schrute."
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"Your voice, it's sounding a little feminine."
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"The Senator is exhausted."
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