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Clips from Family Guy - Quagmire's Baby (S08E08)

"Yeah, no (bleep). What?"
Family Guy
"Peter, that's not ronald reagan."
Family Guy
"You're rich little!"
Family Guy
"He must be on his own ham radio!"
Family Guy
"The kids say you gotta go viral to promote yourself these days."
Family Guy
"So, this is not reagan?"
Family Guy
"He's been screwing with your head."
Family Guy
"Well, this thing is worthless!"
Family Guy
"Like my palestinian alarm clock."
Family Guy
"Allahu akbar!"
Family Guy
"Hey, peter, what's up?"
Family Guy
"Hey, quagmire, uh, listen,"
Family Guy
"I'm here to get my money back for that ham radio."
Family Guy
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down there, partner."
Family Guy
"All sales are final."
Family Guy
"Yeah, but you were agamemnon with me during the sale."
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"Look, peter, why don't you just go home before you get hurt?"
Family Guy
"Well, I'm clearly not the only one"
Family Guy
"Who was dissatisfied with his purchase."
Family Guy
""glenn, this is your child."
Family Guy
"Next time wear a condom, jerk.""
Family Guy
"Well, now, hang on, quagmire."
Family Guy
"There's no guarantee it's your baby."
Family Guy
"Giggity?"
Family Guy
"Oh... I say that."
Family Guy
"This little girl is definitely your baby, quagmire."
Family Guy
"Wh-what am I supposed to do?"
Family Guy
"I-I don't want a baby."
Family Guy
"Look, somebody's gotta take this kid off my hands."
Family Guy
"I-I can't be a father."
Family Guy
"Well, glenn, you don't have a choice."
Family Guy
"This baby is your responsibility."
Family Guy
"Now, I brought you a basket of things to get you started."
Family Guy
"There's baby clothes, some toys, and some books."
Family Guy
"Not really sure what I'm supposed to do with you."
Family Guy
"Bathroom's down the hall to the right."
Family Guy
"Uh, if you ever come home and there's a tie on the door,"
Family Guy
"It means I'm froggin' someone,"
Family Guy
"So give me at least, uh, a couple hours."
Family Guy
"You smoke?"
Family Guy
"I thought you were going to bobby stalling's birthday party."
Family Guy
"I sent bitch stewie in my place."
Family Guy
"Oh, what a great little party, janet."
Family Guy
"You know, I've never seen stewie come out of his shell so much."
Family Guy
"Somebody else will come along and get it right!"
Family Guy
"Thanks for coming to my birthday party, stewie."
Family Guy
"Oh, I wouldn't have missed it for anything!"
Family Guy
"I've never been to a party before!"
Family Guy
"I would love to see that!"
Family Guy
"And gosh, bobby, I'd love to play"
Family Guy
"With some of your birthday toys,"
Family Guy
"And only if you say it's okay!"
Family Guy
"You know, stewie, I gotta say,"
Family Guy
"That clone of yours has come in pretty handy."
Family Guy
"I, uh, don't suppose you'd consider"
Family Guy
"(chuckles) maybe."
Family Guy
"What would you be willing to do for me?"
Family Guy
"What do you want?"
Family Guy
"Take your index finger and your thumb"
Family Guy
"And lightly grip the base of your tail."
Family Guy
"What?"
Family Guy
"Lightly grip the base of your tail"
Family Guy
"With your index finger and your thumb"
Family Guy
"And then slide your fingers up the length of your tail"
Family Guy
"To the tip."
Family Guy
"Why?"
Family Guy
"Because that's what I asked you to do."
Family Guy
"That's kind of weird."
Family Guy
"Is this some kind of sexual thing?"
Family Guy
"There's nothing sexual about it."
Family Guy
"I'm just asking you to perform a simple task."
Family Guy
"Take your index finger and your thumb"
Family Guy
"And lightly grip the base of your tail"
Family Guy
"And run your fingers along the length of your tail."
Family Guy
"You mean, stroke it?"
Family Guy
"Nobody used that word. This is not a stroking motion."
Family Guy
"In a completely nonsexual way."
Family Guy
"Squeeze the base of the tail lightly"
Family Guy
"With your thumb and index finger"
Family Guy
"And then, while continuing to squeeze,"
Family Guy
"Run them up the length of your tail to the tip."
Family Guy
"And I'll make you a clone."
Family Guy
"I only have to do it once?"
Family Guy
"I'll tell you when to stop."
Family Guy
"(laughing): I don't know why you're stopping."
Family Guy
"Nobody told you to stop."
Family Guy
"Give me a little smile."
Family Guy
"Your lips look a little dry."
Family Guy
"Why don't you wet 'em a little bit?"
Family Guy
"(laughing)"
Family Guy
"Oh, my god, you're so weird!"
Family Guy
"All right, I'll make you a clone, buddy."
Family Guy
"Have you given her a name yet?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I named her anna lee,"
Family Guy
"But I'm probably just going to call her "annal" for short."
Family Guy
"That's funny. Thank you."
Family Guy
"Anyway, thanks for all the baby stuff."
Family Guy
"Hey, what's that big tarp over there?"
Family Guy
"Oh, that was chris's blankie from when he was a baby."
Family Guy
"Yeah, he was a big kid."
Family Guy
"Almost split lois in half, coming out of her."
Family Guy
"It's true."
Family Guy
"I never mentioned this because I don't want him to feel bad,"
Family Guy
"But after he was born, they had to rearrange most of my organs."
Family Guy
"Yeah, the doctors said I'll be lucky if I live past 50,"
Family Guy
"But chris is healthy, and I thank god for that."
Family Guy
"Am I ever?"
Family Guy
"I've got a to-do list three pages long for him."
Family Guy
"Okay, now I want to qualify this by reminding you"
Family Guy
"That, as with my clone,"
Family Guy
"That's good. We don't want him thinking too much."
Family Guy
"Yeah, well, I might have dialed yours back"
Family Guy
"What do you mean?"
Family Guy
"Brian, meet bitch brian."
Family Guy
"Oh, my god."
Family Guy
"I didn't really want to do the work,"
Family Guy
"So bitch stewie sort of did it."
Family Guy
"Hey, stewie, how'd the clone turn out?"
Family Guy
"Will you please help me?"
Family Guy
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