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Clips from Garth Marenghi's Darkplace - Once Upon a Beginning (S01E01)

"'so muggins had to haul ass down there and kiss it better,"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'but first, I had to visit a very special friend.'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Is he going to die?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I've gotta get this."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'Never take drugs!'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"He said - I'll always remember this -"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'That was Thornton Reed, my boss."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"She's here on Won Ton's say-so. A star pupil and one Darkplace has high hopes for."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'That's Dr Lucien Sanchez, hotshot surgeon. He's a good buddy.'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Is that why you called me in - some dame's banged her bonce?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"- Wait, I have more things to say. - Go on. Sorry for the interruption."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"She's saying something supernatural's going on."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Sounds bang up your alley, Dag."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"That was a long time ago. Got my fingers burnt."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"OK. You take the reins on this, Dag, but make your methods orthodox."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Don't worry, Reed. This sounds routine. I'm sure nothing untoward will happen."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I hope he heeds my words."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"He's a wild card."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"- He'll come up trumps. - If it's not a joker in the pack."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Get 2ccs of 0.2% saline chloroxide into bed 33,"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"then tell Neurology to get their butts in gear with that cardiogram."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Dr Rick Dagless MD."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Welcome to Darkplace. I've seen more auspicious starts."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"You're right, I'm not. I use sarcasm as a defence."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"- I see the past, the present and the future. - Tough gig."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"(Rick) 'We ended up going to the staffroom."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"So, you had a vision that something terrible has either happened, is happening,"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Have you got a name or room number?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I know you're lying to me, but I'm a big girl now."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Larry Renwick was admitted last week."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Larry was a colleague of mine when I first started at Darkplace."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Saved my life once. I saved his twice, so I was one up."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Naturally, we became fascinated with the occult."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Halfway through, I went to fix us both a coke float."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"By the time I got back, he'd gone insane."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"- Aargh! - Argh!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Plus, he'd left the gate open and there was evil everywhere."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I need a shower."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"- You're overworked as it is. - It'd be a total hassle."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I'll help. I'm free on Tuesdays and my contract hasn't started yet."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"- This ain't orthodox, Liz. - Since when were you orthodox, Rick?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Please."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"All right. I'll pay you, though."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"You could use the extra pocket money for clothes and make-up."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"This is it."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Listen, when I first joined this hospital, I was solo."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"You're the first real buddy I ever had."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"You got it."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Nurse!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Oh, Jesus, Larry, don't do this to me."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I beg ya."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"SOUNDTRACK DROWNS SPEECH"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I've always just known."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I don't know whether someone close to Garth had exploded,"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"There were tears on set. Not from Garth - he was strong for the crew."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"as an artist, in bringing us this gift."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"You used this to treat him?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I didn't wanna use that thing. Larry was my friend."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"If that's how you treat friends, imagine how you treat enemies."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"He's right, Dag. What went on in there wasn't by the book."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Renwick was a gateway to another dimension."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"We must shut it again as soon as possible."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"What? Am I holding a crock of shit?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Is this hospital called St Crock of Shit?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I'm not telling his family that we're burning his body to close the portals to another dimension."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"or I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be able to build a pool in the footprint. Understood?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I just have and that means you'd be lying."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Larry Renwick will be remembered for his wit and laughing eyes, >"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"and for being, above all, a good friend. >"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"PRIEST INTONES A PRAYER >"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"(Sanch) Look out, he's got a gun!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"GUNFIRE"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"(Sanch) Well, that'll stop him. >"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"MOTHER SOBS"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"HE SHOUTS"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I don't know how, Rick, but you were right."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Take this, I hate using these things."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Tell her... tell her I'm sorry."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Sure. And..."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'From this day on, I'd have to fight these forces of darkness"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I do not believe that any form of life, be it human, animal or plant,"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"so, I feel very bad about the cat we killed."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I dropped a sofa on my cat - it was a write-off so I stood on its head."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
""Blood..."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I said, " This is going to be the most significant televisual event since Quantum Leap,"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Son of a bitch!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"He will. He's the best damn doctor on the wing."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Sometimes there is."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Slops!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"That's about the size of it."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Yes. Watch this."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I pleaded with him. I said, "No, don't." But he insisted."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"or it'll stain."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I think I'm gonna die."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Forgive me!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Oh, no!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Bye-bye, buddy."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"BREATHES HEAVILY"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I have never exploded, but, I know what it would be like."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"You're squabbling over this like dogs with meat."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"All right, calm down."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"If the gates of hell do re-open, don't say I didn't warn you."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'Maybe the gates to hell had closed once and for all. Maybe they hadn't."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'It was a double-edged point.'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Seems like a regular burial. D'you buy this portal to hell deal?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Sometimes he'll come in at an angle."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"sometimes he can come in from beneath... like a worm... or mole."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Aargh!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"(ln slow motion) No... my baby boy!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'More like portals, really."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"All I do is sit at the typewriter and start hitting the keys."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Getting them in the right order - that's the trick. That's the trick."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'in association with Dean Learner.'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"That sounds excellent."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I'm Dr Sanchez. You're a woman!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Not really."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Inevitably, my imagination made the move to TV."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"If everyone who'd ever got close to you had died, you'd be sarcastic too."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"In a year, I'll be a woman. Who's Renwick?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"It's... I suppose, one of the many burdens he has to bear"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
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