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Clips from Scrubs - My Hard Labor (S07E07)

"Whether you meant to keep your daughter"
Scrubs
"Come here, pumpkin. Okay."
Scrubs
"This is what you call "being there" for J. D?"
Scrubs
"Okay, looks like we're ready for this baby."
Scrubs
"You should have told me sooner."
Scrubs
"I hate you so much right now, J.D."
Scrubs
"Don't worry, all women say that stuff during labour. She doesn't mean it."
Scrubs
"No, no! Technically, I didn't break up with her."
Scrubs
"I just told her I didn't love her."
Scrubs
"- Who did he say that to? - The mother of his baby."
Scrubs
"Man, she looks familiar."
Scrubs
"Get out!"
Scrubs
"I have someone else I can call."
Scrubs
"Keith, I get it, I ruined your life. Stop calling."
Scrubs
"Look it, I know I called you at home and threatened to kill your dog,"
Scrubs
"No problem. It's not like I need a lot of sleep"
Scrubs
"My daughter needs a shot for her dermatitis."
Scrubs
"Oh, I'm afraid I can't do that. I'm Dr No Shot."
Scrubs
"You're kidding, right? You're a paediatrician."
Scrubs
"You must have to give the occasional shot."
Scrubs
"Look, I have to be a doctor to these kids for years."
Scrubs
"And why aren't you giving your daughter the shot?"
Scrubs
"I don't want her to forever associate me with pain."
Scrubs
"- What? I didn't catch that. - Pain."
Scrubs
"Ironic."
Scrubs
"I can't believe you're still playing this stupid game."
Scrubs
"Hit Turkleton with this lamp."
Scrubs
"Oh, Carla, good."
Scrubs
"Listen, I need you to give my kid a shot. It will only take a second."
Scrubs
"- Janitor, you're getting pummelled. - That sounded like criticism."
Scrubs
"- I don't respond well to criticism. - Whatever. You still suck."
Scrubs
"- I'm out. - No, dude. Come on."
Scrubs
"You drive, I'll man the machine guns and kill all the jackals."
Scrubs
"You have never been more sexy to me."
Scrubs
"I'm so sorry about you and Kim."
Scrubs
"- Is there anything I can do? - Just take care of her."
Scrubs
"God, you're having a baby. Want to do a celebratory jump hug?"
Scrubs
"No. Turk, Carla and I tried one earlier. Turned out to be lame."
Scrubs
"Oh, please, you probably loved it and just didn't want to admit it."
Scrubs
"God, she knows me."
Scrubs
"Hey, you. Blondie go that way?"
Scrubs
"- Get out! - Oh. Dear God."
Scrubs
"It is like Baghdad in there."
Scrubs
"Look, Newbie, I am on the verge of losing my mind."
Scrubs
"now that you've ruined your life?"
Scrubs
"But if you use the words "emotional roller coaster," I am O-U-T."
Scrubs
"Deal. I just feel like I'm on this, like, emotional"
Scrubs
"and I was up all night and I became addicted."
Scrubs
"I thought you were mad because I'd rather play the game"
Scrubs
"Baby, don't get it twisted, that girl is my world."
Scrubs
"And "watch Judge Dredd with J.D." pangs."
Scrubs
"I get "put on my tight jeans and walk down the street"
Scrubs
"I mean, how do you think I became addicted to this game?"
Scrubs
"Every parent needs to take some time off."
Scrubs
"You're damn right they do."
Scrubs
"Hell, my son, Harrison, is a grown man"
Scrubs
"bi-polar, ex-con every time."
Scrubs
"Harrison, your ears must have been burning."
Scrubs
"So now what do we do?"
Scrubs
"I like your style."
Scrubs
"Of course, you had to break up with him."
Scrubs
"No one you love should ever sell your car without asking"
Scrubs
"and then blow the money on meth."
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"My kid's not even born yet, and I'm already screwing up his life."
Scrubs
"Okay, first of all, Newbie, we're talking about your kid,"
Scrubs
"Statistics show? Who cares what statistics show?"
Scrubs
"I mean, look at medicine."
Scrubs
"80% of people with pancreatic cancer die within five years."
Scrubs
"95% of appendectomies occur with zero complications."
Scrubs
"and appendix patients that, unfortunately, passed."
Scrubs
"and you somehow managed to become a relatively successful doctor."
Scrubs
"And I'm sure there's someone, somewhere"
Scrubs
"who would be proud to call you their son."
Scrubs
"Would you be proud to call me your son?"
Scrubs
"Okay. Let's keep looking."
Scrubs
"Helping them mend a broken heart."
Scrubs
"Or staying up late to make sure there's one less distraction around the house."
Scrubs
"And I had to go in there and be there for my child,"
Scrubs
"Okay, I need you to stop pushing for a minute."
Scrubs
"Are you ever?"
Scrubs
"We'll be home real soon. Bye."
Scrubs
"I love watching her sleep."
Scrubs
"Oh, baby, I've finished it a bunch of times."
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"Word?"
Scrubs
"Here's your daddy."
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"Hi."
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"Hi, handsome."
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"Welcome to the world, Sammy."
Scrubs
"Worse."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, but your grandmother has an inoperable brain tumour."
Scrubs
"and if you don't treat patients, you won't learn."
Scrubs
"- I'm your doctor... - I'm your doctor..."
Scrubs
"How can you come in and not check in on your own child?"
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"You know what? I am so sick of this stupid video game."
Scrubs
"That's my baby pager."
Scrubs
"I come from a land down under"
Scrubs
"Me, too."
Scrubs
"so that getting the epidural itself won't hurt."
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"Passing a unicorn?"
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"Yeah, J.D. Needs me, and I really want to be there for him."
Scrubs
"What are your thoughts on cloth diapers?"
Scrubs
"Good evening."
Scrubs
"What the hell. J.D., I love you."
Scrubs
"Please. Remember our rule?"
Scrubs
"You need to learn on patients not related to me."
Scrubs
"- Kim, let's focus on having the baby. - Answer the question."
Scrubs
"even though I kind of asked you not to say it."
Scrubs
"You know what?"
Scrubs
"Don't worry. I've practised this on tomatoes, like, a hundred times."
Scrubs
"I don't want them bawling every time they see me"
Scrubs
"Was that the inside voice? You can bring it up."
Scrubs
"I can't finish this game by myself."
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"Follow my lead and jump in that warthog."
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"Will you talk me through what I'm going through?"
Scrubs
"- Absolutely not. - Then find someone else to help you."
Scrubs
"Which, I guess, is sometimes true."
Scrubs
"You've heard of hunger pangs? I get sports pangs."
Scrubs
"Of course, that may have more to do with this new boyfriend of his."
Scrubs
"and Harrison would pick out the attention-starved,"
Scrubs
"But we both know pancreatic cancer patients that lived"
Scrubs
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