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Clips from The Office - Motivation (S02E02)

"- If you just... - yeah."
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"Can you just be yourself. A bit more relaxed."
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"Something like that?"
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"- Not quite. - Ok."
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"- Maybe if you just sit down. - You're the boss."
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"I'm looking forward to this actually. I think it'll be quite a good one."
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"- Hello, mate. - Are you guys talking at this gig as well?"
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"Yeah. We're just having a sneaky joint."
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"- Go for it. - Ok."
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"- Is it skunk? - Just weed. Do you want to have a taste?"
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"- You sure? - Yeah. I'm on a diet."
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"When I get wasted, I go to munchie-city, so..."
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"I'm mad enough without the gear as well. I'll take a rain check. Catch you later."
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"- Yeah. - Chill."
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"We've got four speakers for you tonight, so no messing about."
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"Let me dispel a myth."
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"Just because you're a success in your life, some people will tell you that you shouldn't be able to sleep at night."
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"You should. Why? Because this is a business."
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"Thanks."
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"Thanks to Richard Clark from Stockport Graphics."
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"Now some words of advice on motivational techniques. From Wernham-Hogg, Mr David Brent."
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"Get out."
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"If you're not going to make it, go now. Yeah?"
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"Save us all a bit of time. If you don't think you can cut it."
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"No? Good."
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"- You finished in there? - No."
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"Ok."
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"Let me show you something that I always keep with me."
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"Which I.. And it's really showing you"
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"It's about feeding the soul. Evolving spirituality."
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""most would be glad to take each his own home again"
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""rather than take a portion out of the common stock.""
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"It's saying, for the first time, the grass isn't always greener on the other side."
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"Don't look over your neighbours fence and go, "Ooh he's got a better car. Ooh he's got a more attractive wife.""
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"We all wake up and we go, "Oh, I ache. I'm not 18 anymore.""
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"I'm thirty ni..you know. I'm in my 30s. But so what? At least I've got my health."
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"And if you haven't got your health, if you've got one leg, at least you haven't got two legs missing."
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"And if you have lost both legs and both arms, just go, "at least I'm not dead!""
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"I'd rather be dead in that situation, to be honest."
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"I'm not saying people like that should be put down."
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"I'm saying that in my life, I'd rather not live without arms and legs because..."
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"I'm just getting into yoga, for one thing, so.."
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"Are you familiar with the term, "laughter is the best medicine"?"
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"Well it's true. Yeah?"
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"When you laugh, your brain releases endorphins, your stress hormones reduced"
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"and the oxygen supply to your blood is increased. So, you feel.."
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"I try and laugh several times a day because it makes you feel good."
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"Just..."
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"C'mon trust me, you'll feel..."
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"Yeah?"
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"I'd be lying if I said my life had turned out exactly as I'd expected."
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"My old school just recently had a school reunion, which I didn't go to,"
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"but one girl in my class, it turns out, right,"
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"that she is now running her own internet auction website, making a fortune"
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"She used to eat chalk."
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"Ok. Well that's about it from yours truly. Thanks for taking all I had to throw at you. I'm spent."
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"He got it. Ok."
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"Just remember..."
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"# better than anyone"
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"# Anyone I've ever met"
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"Come on. Get into it."
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"# I'm stuck on your heart"
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"I've been David Brent. You've been the best. Goodnight."
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"- er... our thanks to David..."
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"- Who stopped it? - I did."
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"No don't stop it. Leave it going right to the end till I get..."
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"- Don't do that again next time, ok? - Sorry."
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"David Brent from Wernham-Hogg."
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"I'll let you be the judge of that."
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"High five. Don't leave me.. hanging, Dawn."
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"Oh, jeez! Here he is."
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"- Tina a bit too much for you? - Possibly."
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"It's your job. Hold me back, because when I'm out there I am..."
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"and it's like... so that's up to you, I'm afraid."
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"Tell you what though. They seemed to go for it, didn't they?"
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"- Knock knock. - Hiya. You all right?"
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"- Yeah. Well done. - What did you think?"
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"- Possibly. - Each his own. Each his own."
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"More importantly though, what pub we going to?"
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"- We'll just grab some food and go home. - Pizza?"
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"Yeah? Never mind pizza express, what about beer express first?"
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""Next stop, drunkenness!""
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"Doesn't have to be. Go anywhere you want. Chinese? Indian?"
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"As long as it's... it's on me!"
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"Here we go. The three musketeers!"
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"Uh oh! Just us two, then. What sort of clubs are around here?"
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"- I'm not going to a club. - You bloody are!"
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"You know those people that came in, Ray and Jude that I had the meeting with?"
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"So I need someone just to carry my bag and organise..."
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"cartoon face and his hair. He looks like a fisher price man. His rubbish clothes."
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"- Who's this who chatted with you? - What's this then? A mothers' meeting?"
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"Yes, but I'm performing as I want me to perform. You're not. Performing as I want you to perform."
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"Well, partially decriminalised now anyway, isn't it? At last."
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"Just a little book. "Collective meditations." It's a collection of philosophers, writers, thinkers."
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"Foreword by Duncan Goodhew. So..."
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"can I read one which I think...?"
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"and is happily married to a marine biologist."
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""Oi, Brent! Is all you care about chasing the yankee dollar?""
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"Native American wisdom."
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""If all men were to bring their miseries together in one place,"
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"Protects your computer against script kiddies, data collectors, viruses, worms and trojan horses"
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"Who's to say if they weren't mucking around, having a laugh all the time, it would be much worse?"
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"Go on. I've opened the door for you."
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