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Clips from The Goldbergs (2013) - Parents Just Don't Understand (S05E05)

"ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, before Will Smith"
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"was a planet-saving movie megastar,"
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"he was a home-grown Philly rap star"
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"known as The Fresh Prince."
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"Together with DJ Jazzy Jeff, they took the world by storm"
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"and made us all want to spit rhymes and scratch records."
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"[MUSIC PLAYS, NEEDLE SCRATCHING RECORD]"
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"No one loved it more than my brother, Barry."
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"[SCOFFS] Well, this is ruined."
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"[RECORD SHATTERS]"
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"[RAPPING] ♪ There's no need to argue ♪"
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"♪ Parents just don't understand ♪"
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"I love how Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince"
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"are always super funny and rap about happy stuff."
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"And yet they still have edge."
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"I mean, these dudes are basically identical to us."
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"Really? I don't think"
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"the mean streets of West Philly"
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"are anything like the quiet cul-de-sacs of Jenkintown."
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"Dude, thing about it... Fresh Prince raps"
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"about how he hates homework, loves video games,"
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"and how all parents just don't understand."
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"That does sound like us."
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"Shut up, shut up! Here comes the best part."
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"[RAPPING] ♪ Oh-kay, here's the situation ♪"
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"BOTH: ♪ My parents went away on a week's vacation ♪"
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"Dude! Stop singing my part!"
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"Clearly, if we were a hip-hop duo,"
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"you would be Jazzy Jeff and I'd be The Fresh Prince."
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"I don't want to be the Jazzy Jeff."
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"He just stands in the back and bops his head."
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"Everything falls apart without the bop."
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"Then you be him. You bop."
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"I don't wanna to bop."
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"What if we both be The Fresh Prince?"
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"Wait, is that even allowed? Can there be two?"
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"[GASPS] Did we just become a rap duo"
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"whose future's so bright, we got to wear chains?"
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"That's for sure not the expression,"
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"but, yes, I think we did."
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"Which means we need Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince gear stat!"
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"Neon... the color of the streets."
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"Ugh, too bright. Here, try this on."
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"What's wrong? This shirt cost $20."
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"This shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar."
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"What are you doing? You'll ruin my rep."
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"You're only 16. You don't have a rep yet."
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"Let's put these clothes back, please?"
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"No. You go to school to learn, not for a fashion show."
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"Here, try on these double-knit, reversible slacks."
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"Oh, balls, no!"
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"She'll never understand!"
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"♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪"
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"♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪"
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"♪ I don't know the future ♪"
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"♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪"
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"It was December 6th, 1980-something,"
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"and Erica was feeling the freedom of life at college."
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"- Well, sort of. - Hey, Erica."
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"Don't you "Erica" me, Erica."
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"Your mom's left like 50 messages."
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"50? [SCOFFS] Please. Don't be so dramatic."
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"MAN: You have 49 new messages."
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"- Told ya. - [ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]"
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"BEVERLY: Hey, Boopie! It's Mama!"
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"Haven't heard from you this morning."
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"- Call me! - [BEEP]"
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"[SINGSONG] Hey, it's me again."
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"Thought I'd check in on my only daughter"
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"and light of my life, who may be in great danger."
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"[BEEP]"
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"[STERNLY] Erica, please pick up the phone."
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"It's 2:20, and I'm starting to wonder"
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"if you've been attacked by a bear."
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"- Are there bears here? - No."
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"- [BEEP] - [SOBBING] It's 5:23,"
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"- and I need to know where you are! - [BEEP]"
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"[NORMAL VOICE] I've taken a few deep breaths,"
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"- and I'm good. - [BEEP]"
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"[VOICE BREAKING] Now I'm hyperventilating."
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"- [BEEP] - [CHEERILY] Call me!"
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"- [BEEP] - [STERNLY] Call me!"
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"- [BEEP] - Dear, God!"
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"I literally spoke to that woman a few days ago."
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"Look, moms worry. It's, like, what they do."
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"- Just pick up next time. - No!"
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"If I talk to her once a day,"
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"then she'll want to talk once an hour"
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"and then once a minute."
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"- When will the madness end? - I don't think it ever will."
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"Your life's gonna be really bad."
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"[PHONE RINGS]"
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"Aghh!"
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"- [DIAL TONE] - Hello?"
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"Murray, she picked up for a split second"
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"and then hung up. There's only one explanation."
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"She doesn't want to talk to you."
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"- Go to sleep. - No."
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"She was obviously eating a hard candy,"
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"and it got lodged in her throat."
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"And when she grabbed the phone to call 911, she passed out!"
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"What kind of college has hard candies lying around?"
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"You don't know!"
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"There could be a lobby with a dish."
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"Are you watching that S.O.B. Phil Donahue again?"
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"He did an exposé on choking hazards, Murray."
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"Did you know that hard candy kills more people than smoking?"
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"That gray-haired bastard. All he does is make you worry."
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"When Erica lived here,"
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"she was fed and clothed and had easy BMs."
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"Now I don't know what's going on, and it's torture."
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"[SNORING]"
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"Are you sleeping?"
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"[SNORING CONTINUES]"
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"I'm up!"
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"- W-Who's locked out? - What?!"
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"You said, um, um, someone's locked out."
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"No, you fell asleep again!"
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"[SNORING]"
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"ADULT ADAM: While my mom was failing to reach Erica,"
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