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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Wedding Bride (S05E05)

"Take that, Ted Mosby."
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"Okay, he definitely said it that time."
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"(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)"
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"(SIGHING)"
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"Oh, my God. That was so good! I'm laughing. I'm crying."
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"I know it's all fake, but didn't those seem like real characters?"
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"Oh, uh, no reason."
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"Ted, I think you need to tell Royce"
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"It's gonna come out eventually."
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"Why? Why does it even have to?"
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"Well, for starters, it's now the fifth highest-grossing movie of all time."
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"I don't care. I don't care. I'm taking this to the grave."
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"It's a stupid movie, anyway."
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"Sounds terrible."
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"My gosh, I would never go and see that film."
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"OLDER TED: Kids, you know where this is going."
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"Well, she's made her choice."
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"Don't worry. I won't go to the wedding."
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"Oh, you'll go all right."
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"I'm gonna drive you there myself and make you watch."
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"(LAUGHING LOUDLY)"
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"Billy, no! The code."
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"This is exactly how it happened. He got every part right."
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"Even that thing with the nunchucks."
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"OLDER TED: So I was resolved to put The Wedding Bride"
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"as far behind me as possible."
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"Oh! How great was The Wedding Bride?"
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"(BOTH EX CLAIMING)"
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"- Loved it! Loved it! Loved it! Loved it! - We're going to see it again tomorrow."
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"Ooh! Can we come? Ted, you wanna see it again, right?"
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"Yeah. It was good."
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""Good"? Try instant classic. The only thing wrong with it,"
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"and I mean, it's such a minor flaw in an otherwise flawless film,"
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"is I just didn't get why Stella would even wanna marry a guy like Jed Mosley"
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"in the first place. I mean, even that guy's name, Jed Mosley."
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"Come on, Royce. You've dated a few Jed Mosleys in your day."
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"Well, okay. But who hasn't?"
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"Totally. Totally. All right, well, technically, that is the correct..."
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"I was so, so happy when that loser got left at the altar, and you know why?"
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"- Because he had it coming. - Mmm-hmm."
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"And the great part is he is gonna live"
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"a long, sad life, knowing that he lost his only chance at happiness."
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"Oh! What about when he got beat up by the goat?"
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"- (ALL LAUGHING) - So funny. What a loser."
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"Totally! I mean, the guy's life was shattered in a very public humiliation."
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"What a hoot!"
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"And it may be years before he can look certain family members in the eye again."
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"He may be so emotionally traumatized"
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"he never fully loves or trusts anyone ever again."
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"That's hysterical. Move over, Adolf Hitler. There's a new king of comedy."
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"Ted, are you okay?"
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"Yeah. I just think you all might be interested to learn something about"
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"that movie y'all love so much."
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"It sucks. And you're all stupid for liking it."
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"Wow. That was really mean. I think you owe us an apology."
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"No-can-do's-ville, babydoll."
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"No-can-do's-ville."
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"You said, "No-can-do's-ville, babydoll"?"
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"You actually used Jed Mosley's catchphrase?"
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"I know. I was just so upset that..."
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"How do you know that's his catchphrase?"
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"- You said it was his catchphrase. - They dragged me to it. I didn't wanna go."
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"- I wanted to see A vatar again. - TED: All right, that's it."
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"I'm just gonna move to some country where no one's seen The Wedding Bride."
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"Good luck, Ted. That movie is worldwide. It's huge."
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"- Maybe North Korea. - Nope."
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"I read that Kim Jong II said it was his second favorite movie of all time."
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"Right behind a movie of him riding a horse in slow motion through a field of turnips."
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"Sorry, Ted. You're screwed."
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"All right, do you guys wanna know why I'm nice to everyone?"
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"It's because I don't care about baggage."
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"I mean, most people, they see another person walking down the street"
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"with that big heavy bag they're carrying, and they just walk on by."
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"But not me. I look at them, and I say..."
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"I say, "Howdy, stranger. Can I give you a hand with that?""
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"And you know what, Ted? I believe that deep down, you're still that guy."
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"I am still that guy."
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"I think you wanna go out there and get that girl."
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"I do wanna go out there and get that girl."
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"- Because she's the love of your life! - Because she's..."
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"Well, okay, let's... We're three dates in. She seems nice."
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"- Because she seems nice! - She does seem nice!"
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"You're right, Marshall. I gotta go get her."
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"The wedding's in 15 minutes. I'll never make it."
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"You can do it, sensei. Go give love a roundhouse kick right in the heart."
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"You're right. What am I doing?"
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"There's still time."
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"MINISTER: Do you, Stella, take Jed Mosley to be your lawfully-wedded husband?"
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"STELLA: I..."
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"(CLEARING THROAT)"
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"- Royce? - Stella?"
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"- Ted? - Tony!"
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"- Tony? - Ted?"
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"Barney?"
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"Something I need to say."
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"- A long time ago... - A long time ago,"
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"- I let a horrible girl named Stella... ...I let this beautiful girl named Stella..."
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"...break my heart. ...get away."
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"- who wrote a movie about it and... ...who doesn't appreciate what he has"
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"- in this beautiful, wedding bride. ...that movie is called The Wedding Bride."
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"- What are you saying? - JED: You can't talk to me like that."
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"- I'm Jed Mosley! - I'm Jed Mosley. But, Royce..."
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"TONY: This girl in the white wedding dress..."
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"...this doofus in the red cowboy boots,"
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"So, just to be clear,"
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"are you saying that you don't have a pair of red cowboy boots in your closet?"
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"Barney, what..."
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"Well, I just wanted... I mean, that's... Everyone wants to know."
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"They're actually more of a burgundy."
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"- Royce... - Stella,"
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"- And I'd like to live up to that promise. - And I'd like to live up to that promise."
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"- STELLA: Tony, all I've wanted all my life... - Ted, all I've wanted all week..."
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"- STELLA: ... was your love. ...was some pancakes."
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"- MINISTER: Go on, honey. Kiss him. - Go on, honey. Kiss him."
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"- GUESTS: Kiss him, kiss him... - Kiss him, kiss him..."
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"OLDER TED: Um, Uncle Barney didn't say "kiss.""
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"Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him!"
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"OLDER TED: Still not saying "kiss.""
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"Sir, you need to leave, now!"
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"This is outrageous! Who the kiss are you?"
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